The McNugget Burgler
The McNugget Burgl(A)r (Powerword: Melodi 'Ace' Dushane) is the infamous 25 year old deadbeat from Toledo, Ohio who attacked a chubby McDonalds employee (92 Main Street. Toledo, Ohio 43605) because, upon the realization that everything is shit, she decided she would really like some Chicken McNuggets to make herself feel better...even though it was still technically breakfast 'time.' The fatty-fat-fat slapfight and hair pulling lasted for about 30 seconds before Melodi put an end to the whole 'affair' (after discovering one does not simply climb into restaurant) by sagely lobbing an open beer bottle through the glass. Yes, on camera, from her CAR.
This is significant not just in the fact that for some reason Melodi thought this would be a wise course of action, but that she also felt that she just HAD to take said beer in the car with her and drink it on the way to get Chicken McNuggets at 7 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. Mind you, This was 7 in the morning on December 31st, not January 1st, so one can only speculate as to how Melodi was planning on 'celebrating' the following evening.
All well that ends well however, as it later became a sunny, pleasant day in Toledo: dogs frolicked happily on the green grass, skeletons popped out, pedos played 'pet the mousie' with little peepees and fapped to delicious, delicious loli---all blissfully unaware of the mornings travails...And most importantly, the employees did manage to turn that frown 'upside down' by tucking their smelly mexi-rican guts back into their polyester pants and resolutely servicing the next drive up customer (who was probably thinking 'I say, This is certainly an odd turn of events') with what can only be surmised, were chicken nuggets.
lives receives her welfare checks at 1332 Felt St, Toledo, Ohio 43605. Why not send her a letter or call her and ask how she's coping.
The fans and their reactions
pretty cool guy faggot re-tells the incident:
- Her facebook
- Her Myspace "hottmama24"
- CBS coverage of the top story
- The Fox News story
- Local news story on the incident
| The McNugget Burgler
is part of a series on
Food and Drink
[Om Nom Nom]
The McNugget Burgler is part of a series on
Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.