The Powerpuff Girls
|What was Professor Utonium doing making little girls in the first place?|
The Powerpuff Girls was a cartoon starring three handless prostitots who save the world from an evil monkey. Since it was birthed in the '90s, it is currently a porn favorite among pedophiles such as Bleedman and Mikemedia. Everybody that could claim knowledge about how any episode of this show ends is probably lying because they were too busy pounding themselves to climax over the neighbor's 5-year-old daughter to glance over at the animated loli ass on TV.
Since the show was canceled, nowadays, The Powerpuff Girls is mainly referenced by the disgusting sacks of neckbeard that masturbate to that other shitty cartoon about brightly-colored horses as a means of justifying their disgusting, sub-furfag perversion because the Jew bitch behind their faggy horse cartoon also worked on The Powerpuff Girls and because The Powerpuff Girls is generally well-liked, even among non-pedophiles, this makes their enjoyment of a cartoon designed to sell plastic crap to little girls totally legit. What these horsefuckers do not realize, however, is that The Powerpuff Girls was actually primarily the work of Craig McCracken and that their patron saint, Lauren Faust actually had very little to do with its creation.
When Professor Utonium realized that he was unable to gain a family the normal way or tempt the neighbourhood girls into his basement traps, he decided to use science to grow some children of his own. As everyone knows, the best way to do this is to toss a bunch of crap into a bowl. Inevitably, everything blew right the fuck up, which, if you remember your high school chemistry, always results in little girls being born. In between pulling shards of Pyrex glass and plastic out of his body, Professor Utonium named his new daughters the Powerpuff Girls, and only later discovered that they had superpowers, making his name choice a little less retarded. Since the new-age Cabbage Patch dolls were incapable of giving a good hand job and had way too muscle for him to kick in the back door, the professor punished them by forcing them to beat up evil robots, space monsters, and demons that just so happened to be in the city he lives in.
Blossom: Know-it-all ginger who self-proclaimed herself as the leader.
Bubbles: High-pitched, clueless one voiced by Tara Strong. She's the blonde one, wasn't it a little fucking obvious? She also has the ability to talk to animals, but that never did any good unless knowing where alley cats shit ever helped saved the world.
Mojo Jojo: A green monkey who is the girls' most persistent villain - (Yeah, the feces-hurling public masturbater is the biggest motherfucker out of all their villains). After Professor Utonium created him by accident, he put on a turban and began his historic career of getting into fights with children and blowing up Americunt military instalations.
Fuzzy Lumpkins: Pink fur-ball that is the PPG's version of Solomon Grundy that includes his growing up in a swamp, playing the banjo, hating minorities, thumping Bibles, partying with family, and voting for Sarah Palin. These sinister, justice-hating acts usually earned him a well-deserved Cup of STFU from the Powerpuff Girls.
The Rowdyruff Boys: The male equivalents of the Powerpuff Girls and subject to shitty romantic fanfiction pairings with their enemies, The Powerpuff Girls. If the last sentence made sense to you, you should spend at least a few seconds feeling embarrassed.
In 2006, pedo culture got its world rocked when The Powerpuff Girls, a show that parodies anime, was made into an anime that parodied its source material. Within that insane whirlwind of double-parody and self-self referencing, the girls were given complete anime makeovers. Utonium was also given a son, but still no wife. Blossom's intelligence was changed into sugar-fetishism that has come to be expected from anime. Buttercup became an even bigger lesbian, but was no longer afraid to admit it. Also Bubbles pretty much stayed the same.
If the original Powerpuff Girls was like a fifth-generation inbred Floridian whore, than the Japanese version is like the child that fell out of her while she was walking around, too retarded to know that she was pregnant and not just "getting fat." The show was not quite as well received as one might have expected, mostly because suddenly the girls were too old for the sicko fans of the original show to jerk off to. To the show's credit, it managed to remain significantly less creepy than the Bleedman comic, although it really would have had to work its ass off to out-creepy his work.
The 2016 reboot (AKA The cancer that is killing Cartoon Network)
The Powerpuff Girls have always been obnoxiously feminist, but this reboot hasn't even the dignity to be even a bit implicit about it. They, no joke, used feminism as a selling point. So far they've successfully trolled the Cartoon-spergs, Enterbots and PPG fans by:
- Raping the art-style so it looks like it came from Canada.
- Having the first villian be an MRA /b/tard from Clarence.
- Being filled to the brim with animation errors.
- Replacng the original voice over with completely different actresses and having Craig McCracken say that there was no way in Hell that he'd work with Tara Strong again to her dragging her ass up and down Twatter while making Personal Army requests and saying that the reboot will fail because she is the only Bubbles and what the fans want.
- Legit using a stock photo from Google Images as a background.
- Shoehorning tranny issues via a unicorn. Even the tumblrites were TRIGGERED™ by the episode.
- Leaving Miss Bellum out of the show because feminism.
- Reciting an outdated meme from 2008.
- Having the Powerpuff Girls twerk.
- Having a crossover with Teen Titans Go!.
- Make the crossover to have better animation than whole 'reboot.'
- My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Tara Strong
- The Fairly OddParents
- The Loud House