The Resistance

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The retarded face of "the resistance".
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The Resistance by Ben Garrison
   
 
We’ve been around 240 years. We’ve had free and fair elections and we’ve accepted the outcomes when we may not have liked them and that is what must be expected of anyone standing on a debate stage during a general election.
 

 
 

Hillary Clinton, everyone in America except the Resistance agrees with this

The Resistance, formerly known as butthurt Hillary voters before the effort was re-branded, is the latest Democratic establishment ploy by America-haters to join forces with low information Democrats to undermine the presidency of Donald Trump. Naturally, this effort is funded by Hillary Clinton, which only reflects her butthurt and that of the unbathed, unemployable fatass losers who follow her.

The reason for this faggotry

This effort is portrayed as a "grassroots" effort to resist Donald Trump and his efforts to make America great again, but in reality is an obvious smokescreen to mask Hillary's butthurt and that of the stinking mass of fat and bacteria that loves her. DC insiders know that the Resistance is a paid effort, just like the dozens of other dirty tricks thrown at Teflon Don by Hillary Clinton. Any criticism of Hillary is met with cries of "but he's so much worse" followed by comparisons to Hitler. Never mind that she was planning to initiate a no-fly zone over Syria that would have accelerated the start of World War III. Because regime-change wars worked so well in America's past, right? Despite Hillary's pre-election demand that The Don accept the results of the election regardless of her vote rigging, he managed to win the election fair and square much to the surprise of Hillary and countless old people whose only source for news is television and newspapers.

Appeal to the young people

This effort relies on a feeble attempt to link their cause to the French Resistance for the elderly who remember it, and the Star Wars variety for younger generations. The heroes who participate in this resistance can feel like Luke Skywalker fighting Darth Vader, when in actuality they are just butthurt nobodies on Twitter.

Members of the "Resistance" see themselves as heroes, equating their outraged Twittering with cutting Nazi rail lines or liberating the death camps, often viewing themselves as continuing the work of some relative or other who fought in WW2. Their tactics don't match the purity of their motive, however. Aside from bitching about Donald Trump on Twitter, the only exercise these AIDS ridden faggots get is when they riot, which is even less noble than simply bitching on Twitter, despite the loss of several hundred collective pounds.

In a nutshell: they're all butthurt over Hillary's epic loss and need to go get a fucking job.

By their Twitter account shall ye know them

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#NotMyPresident

Members of the Resistance are easily identifiable on Twitter by their blue check mark, and by the non-stop anti-Trump and anti-America poison spewed from their handle. These freedom hating bits of chewing gum in the cogs of society's unforgiving machinery will make non-stop claims of "oppression", and often seek to exact revenge on the Patriarchy (except Islamic patriarchy of course). These effective swipes at America's beta-patriarchy often manifest in epic feats of pwning n00bs online for eight cents per pwn via that evil kike George Soros.

Hillary has offered her technical expertise to the Resistance, and the Resistance foolishly accepted. Expect the members list to be dumped by WikiLeaks next month, but until then they can be identified by their refusal to accept the legitimacy of Trump's presidency, espousal of such lies as "this is not normal" and "not my president", and prolific use of the following hashtags:

  • Twitter-favicon.png #resist, One of their butthurt hashtags
  • Twitter-favicon.png #theresistance, Another one of their butthurt hashtags
  • Twitter-favicon.png #notmypresident, Yet another hashtag of whining, this time about the 2016 election. And it's still fucking going.

IRL

Those Resistance members who do manage to escape the oppression of living in their parents' basement are easily identified IRL by their enormous folds of fat coupled with the attendant stench, and by these other signifiers:

Prominent members

Several members of the Resistance have been exposed to daylight and did not melt, as expected. Here is a short list:

Old media and Hollywood

In addition to the above online nobodies, several celebrities have taken the controversial stance that President Trump is literally Hitler, and accuse his followers of various crimes, usually along the lines of microaggressions and refusing to take their beating by bike lock in silence. This has led to several celebrities embarrassing themselves in the following ways:

  • Madonna threatened to blow up America, mostly because she doesn't even live here anymore
  • Snoop Doggy Dogg depicted the assassination of President Trump with a fake gun.
  • Kathy Griffin pretended to be ISIS and held up a bloody representation of Trump's severed head. The SJWs proceeded to jack it to Barron Trump's IRL tears because they're swell people.
  • Sarah Silverman threatened to plot a violent coup to try to take down Donald Trump, which failed spectacularly.

See also

The sound of the Resistance

External links


The Resistance
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismReconquistaRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

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The Resistance
is part of a series on Donald Trump.


You're gonna love this article, believe me.
Donald trump eyes glowing.jpg
Featured article June 11 & 12, 2017
Preceded by
Mr Beast
The Resistance Succeeded by
Randy Robert Stair