The Unabrower

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Hey! Big Thumbs Up.jpg This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!
Lollercoastersmall.gif
I am the uglier than my prophet!
Islamic protests demanding legalization of polygamy
Faisal in Jihad mode

Faisal Shahzad aka The Unabrower is a failed Paki Jihadist from Connecticut who attempted to blow up the Viacom office near Times Square, New York on 1st May 2010. Apparently, he was shocked and offended by the ugliness of his prophet Mohammad who appeared on South Park Episode 200.

It is a matter of awe and great secret debate within devout Muslims how prophet Mohammad maintained 30 or more war-booty concubines and also 11 legally married wives, the last one of whom was a tight 9 years old while he was 54, whereas his followers in Islamic countries are allowed to marry a mere 4 wives at a time. Some Muslims attribute the fact to the prophet's killer looks and Rambo-ish strength, though due to the divine prohibition of pictorial evidence, pagans and kaffirs poke fun at the great prophet by calling him a pervert and a fake.

Contrary to Allah's wishes which were written down in the great Quran, the same book which instructs men to beat their wives and behead the Christians and the Jews, Mohammad appeared in the 200th episode of South Park and finally proved the pagans and kaffirs right. The incident made 1.5 billion illiterate Muslims ashamed in front of the whole world which they plan to dominate within the next 9 years.

It was found out that Faisal Shahzad had only one wife, did not have any concubines, and was frustrated for a very long time.

The 'FailBomb'[edit]

Here is a summary of how to make a successful FailBomb:

  • M80 firecrackers in a plastic bucket (Bought at Walmart and therefore soaked in childrens' urine)
  • Fertilizer (organic, and therefore not even flammable)
  • Propane tanks (brand new in explosion-proof steel cylinders)
  • Awesome alarm clocks (just for looks)
  • Throw it in the back of a pedo van with the lights on
  • ????
  • PARTY VAN

The alleged 'bomb' was found to be remarkably crude but thrice fail-proof in design. Though Mr. Shahzad used the wrong kind of fertilizer needed to produce a blast similar to one that would do an Oklahoma City on Comedy Central, some of the bomb's active components consisted of industry grade BBQ tanks, expensive fireworks, high-tech digital alarm clocks, and a very moist fuse resulting from a wet dream after watching Cartman's mom Chef in South Park.

It is reported that the fuse failed to ignite.

See Also[edit]

The Unabrower
is part of a series on
Islam
Gaymuslim.jpg
Tro0 Muslims [-+]
Countries & Peoples [-+]

AfghanistanAlbania • Algeria • Azerbaijan • Bahrain • Bangladesh • Bosnia & Herzegovina • Brunei • Burkina Faso • Benin • Chad • Comoros • Cote d'Ivoire • Djibouti • East TurkestanEgypt • Eritrea • Guinea • Guinea-Bissau • IndonesiaIranIraqThe Islamic State Of Iraq and Sham • Jordan • KazakhstanKosovoKuwaitKyrgyzstanLebanonLibyaMalaysia • Maldives • Mali • Mauritania • Morocco • NigerNigeria • Northern Cyprus • Oman • PakistanPalestine • Qatar • Saudi Arabia • Senegal • Sierra LeoneSomaliaSwedenSpainSudanSyria • Sahwari Republic • Tajikistan • The Gambia • TunisiaTurkey • Turkmenistan • United Arab Emirates • Uzbekistan • Western Sahara • Yemen

EVIL ISLAMOPHOBES AND BULLIES: AngolaChinaCzech RepublicDenmarkFranceGreeceHungaryItalyJapanKoreaMyanmarPolandRussiaSpainTaiwanUnited States of America

Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama [-+]
Infidels & Islamic No-Nos [-+]


The Unabrower
is part of a series on
Terrorists
10%

Big Players

Aaron Alexis Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Adolf Hitler Alek Minassian Anders Behring Breivik Andrew Kehoe Anton Lundin Pettersson Arcan Cetin Augusto Pinochet Barack Obama Benito Mussolini Brenton Tarrant Charles Bishop Charles Manson Charles Whitman Christian Weston Chandler David Katz David Koresh David Long Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain Dnepropetrovsk maniacs George Soros George W. Bush Grog Heaven's Gate Hideki Tojo Jack Gilbert Graham Jeffrey Dahmer Joe Stack John Walker Lindh Joseph Stalin Jussie Smollett Khalid Masood Kim Il-sung Lee Harvey Oswald MAGABomber Mao Zedong Mark Essex Matthew Murray Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim Muslims Omar Mateen Osama Bin Laden Patrick Purdy Pol Pot Ramadan Van Man Robert Gregory Bowers Sharjah Ruler Saddam Hussein Sam Hyde San Bernardino shooting Stephen Paddock Ted Bundy The Finnisher The Unabrower Timothy McVeigh Unabomber Vladimir Lenin Wade Michael Page Woo Bum-kon

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Antifa Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Black Lives Matter DisruptJ20 Iran Ireland ISIS Islam Israel Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

9/11 ATHF Terrorist Attack Ariana Grande Massacre Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive BLMKidnapping Boston Marathon Bombing Christchurch Mosque Massacre Breitscheidplatz Columbine Dallas Sniper Attacks Delaware State University Shooting Gaza War Hiroshima and Nagasaki IMPEACH FORTY FI! Isla Vista Massacre Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre Las Vegas massacre London Bridge Attack 2017 Mass Shooting Muenster Truck Attack 2018 Narcovideos Nice Truck Attack 16 Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street Oklahoma City Bombing Paris Mass Shooting Pulse Nightclub Massacre Police Brutality Saint Petersburg bombings Sri Lanka Easter Massacre Stockholm Truck Attack 2017 VTech Waco Westminster motor massacre WTC

Portal trolls.png

The Unabrower is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.