Thomas Watt Hamilton

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Thomas Watt Hamilton
Nationality: Britfag  MiniflagUK.png
Highscore Killed 17, injured 15
Top 25? 22th
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes


Thomas "Watt" Hamilton was a 43-year-old pedofuck from Scotland who became Britain's luminary High Score winner following his lash-out at Dunblane Primary School on the morning of March 13, 1996, in which he ultimately pwned 17 dumb shits (16 children, 1 teacher) in just under 5 minutes time. Thomas' heroic acts propagated Martin Bryant to orchestrate the Port Arthur Massacre in Ausfailia 6 weeks later, and possibly the Sandy Hook shootings, based on the similarities between each event.

Early Life[edit]

Thomas Hamilton was born on 10th May, 1952. His parents divorced in 1955, leaving Thomas in his mother's custody. Nearing his 4th birthday, his name was legally changed to "Thomas Watt Hamilton". Little Tommy grew up in the belief that his mother was his older sister, and was said to be exceedingly close to her throughout his youth.

Sometime in his 20's he occupied a Woodcraft shop which specialized in the sale of DIY goods, though he became an oldfag and gave up the shop after 13 years of service in 1985.

Little is known about Mr. Hamilton's youth, suggesting that no-one, not even his relatives genuinely give a shit.

Scout Service/Boys Clubs (1973 - 1993)[edit]

<3

It was around the time Mr. Hamilton graduated from college when he started to leak his pedophilic tendencies into the children of the general public. He would satisfy himself through the foundation of various "Boys Clubs", which he would operate entirely on his own. A number of complaints were made about his leadership, and on at least two occasions he had forced boys to keep him company in his pedovan overnight, his excuse being "he wanted to keep the children warm from the cold weather outside". His official Scout's membership was revoked after parents raised concern over him photographing boys exercising in tight, undersized swimsuits without permission. Regardless, Hamilton would never admit defeat, and would strive towards bonding with the boys that he loved very dearly. Hamilton was known to have formed at least 15 Boys Clubs in his lifetime, with each Club lacking participants and falling to shit. His anger flourished whenever his sexual advancements were protested by lawful douchebags. Hamilton resorted to stock-piling on ammunition and shooting gunz at the range, he came to the realization that he was destined to win the Golden iPod.


   
 
Hamilton was a loner, he wouldn't engage in social conversation with anybody; it is known also that women members didn't particularly like being around him. He was a bit of a creep in their eyes
 

 
 

—Mr. G. S. Crawford, Secretary of the Stirling Rifle and Pistol Club.

Dungoof'd @ Dunblane[edit]

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Secondary: Browning HP
GTA4Icons1911.png
  • A very reliable 9 mm pistol. 18~51 Damage.
  • Secondary: S&W
GTA4IconsRAGINGBULL.png
  • Powerful revolver chambered in .357 25~60 Damage.


On the 13th of March, Wednesday morning, ol' Hammy got fed up with his failed attempts at trying to have fun with little boys and insisted that if he couldn't get the cock, he'd smash 'em like a rock. Thomas had his last cup of tea and crumpets before driving to the school in his Pedovan to wreck shit. Prior to entering the school building, Thomas severed the cables to the telegraph pole using a set of pliers in an attempt to prolong the arrival of law enforcement, however, this telegraph pole only served nearby houses rather than the school. Thomas marched into the school gymnasium, where 28 1st-Graders were doing physical education with 3 staff members. Just before some bitch named Eileen Harrild attempted to confront him, Thomas went full Touhou on everybody, roasting 17 ppl and stinging another 15. The kiddy-killer also tried to score bonus points firing shots into a mobile classroom teaching a bunch of 7th-Graders, but failed miserably, only hitting items and other equipment. Thomas then re-entered the gym, feasting his eyes upon the bloodbath he had created. He desperately wanted to caress the small corpses strewn across the floor, but the cops were about to kick his ass, so he pulled a Budd Dwyer and successfully became An Hero, not to mention that he won the Golden iPod! (UK edition).

Dunblane vs. Sandy Hook[edit]

   
 
Media in the United Kingdom compared the shooting to the Dunblane school massacre.
 

 
 

—USAToday.com [1]

  • Both perpetrators arrived on school grounds at approximately 9:30 AM.
  • Both killing sprees lasted less than 5 minutes.
  • Most of the people slayed were 1st-Graders.
  • Deadliest primary/elementary school massacres in British/American history.
  • Both perpetrators shared an interest in pedophilia.

Videos[edit]

Garry's Mod
MAH NIGGA U GOT ROASTED
Eileen Harrild describes the horrible delightful events.

Graded Score[edit]

Graded score
Kill count: 17/20
Accuracy: 11/20 17 killed, 15 injured.
Style: 15/20 Sk00l Sh00ting
Butthurt: 20/20 UK's version of Columbine!
Bonus: 20/20 Exceptionally fast-paced! Gets the job done quick.
Total score: 88/100 (B)
Most outstanding kiddy-killer in British history.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

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___________________

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Vice Squad


See Also[edit]

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Single Player

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikAriana Grande MassacreAurora Theatre ShootingBaruch GoldsteinBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCampo Elías DelgadoCharles BishopCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-MercerDan "The Twinkie Man" WhiteDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDevin Patrick KelleyDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniJack Gilbert GrahamJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJeffrey DahmerJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLuby's massacreMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael RyanMikese MorseMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMr. SaariMutsuo ToiNasim AghdamNghtmrchld26Nice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenOsama bin LadenParkland High School MassacrePekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRandy StairRaoul MoatReina Nightclub MassacreRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSam HydeStephen PaddockTed BundyThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneUnabomberVirginia Tech MassacreWade Michael PageWaffle House shootingZac Penton

Co-Op Mode

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Civilization

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Banned From Scoring

Billy MitchellTodd Rogers

 
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Terrorists:

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See also:

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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
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Locus in quo: Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Parkland High School shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 Waffle House shooting
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Haters gonna hate:

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Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 9/11 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre

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