TorGuard-VPN-Sitenotice2.gif
Anonymous VPN Service + Torrent Proxy


Scales.png JONATHAN MONSARRAT FILED A SLAPP SUIT AGAINST US. Scales.png
Scales.png Please donate what you can via Wesearchr to help us crowdfund this case.Scales.png

Bitcoin: 1BUeFKUrFwnQAujNHWGzHgoJAxRixVprow

We removed all the javascript / popup / virus ads and left only banner ads. Please whitelist us on AdBlock.

Tim Kretschmer

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Tim Kretschmer
Tim Kretchmer fail.jpg
Born July, 26, 1991
Nationality Germany Germany
Highscore Killed 15 (+ suicide), Injured 9
Style FPS, Single Player, Pistol-Only-Server
An Hero Headshot, 11 March 2009
Rank 18th Place
1st: Sir Anders Behring Breivik
2nd: Woo Bum-kon
3rd: Omar Mateen
17th: Robert Bales
19th: Marc Lepine


Kretschmer-300.jpg
He was an hero

Tim Kretschmer (November 6, 1991 – March 11, 2009) was a 17-year-old graduate of the Albertville-Realschule in Winnenden, Germany who committed a mass murder of fifteen people (eleven were women) and wounded nine others, including two policemen, all for the good old lulz. His shooting rampage has been dubbed as the Winnenden School Shooting. Kretschmer committed suicide after being cornered and wounded by police officers.

The press helpfully pointed out that Kretschmer was playing a lot of Counter-Strike, and we all know what that does to people. He also was an avid Bulletball player and had planned on becoming a professional player. Kretschmer was a loner and had no friends, he lived in his basement wanking over Anime. Pretty much like you, except he really was an exceptional shooter. However at least we expect that you'd have the courtesy to write an article on ED before you did it so we'd have the exclusive. BTW, little Tim was rejected by the actual Nazi army, because he was too wacky for the Wehrmacht.

Premonition

   
 
I would probably think about screwing things up. Killing everyone I hate, I bet a lot of people would do this. I just mean, you become famous and stay in the memory of other people. See murderers like Ted Bundy.

I bet this would be a lot of fun. For the relatives of the victims it woulnd’t be much fun.
 


 
 

—JawsPredator1 in a forum's thread which asked what the users would do with 1 week left of time to live.

Krautchan trolling win

The German police and world media were successfully trolled by someone on Krautchan pretending to be Kretschmer who apparently posted hours before the shooting.

Successful troll is successful

Translation: Damn it Anonymous, this is getting to me. I'm fed up with this shitty life. Always the same - Everybody laughs at me, nobody recognizes my potential. I'm serious Anonymous. I have weapons here and tomorrow morning I'll go to my former school and have a great time barbecuing. Maybe I will even get away. Keep your ears open Anons. You will hear from me tomorrow. Just remember the name of the location: Winnenden. And now, don't report this to the police, don't be scared, I'm just trolling XD


German Innenminister (Secretary For State Security) Rech spreading the krautchan hoax at a press conference

Rech later admitted that the post was a hoax, saying "Some crazy person apparently decided to pass around this awful fake message."

Somebody else crafted this masterpiece and put it on 4chan:

4chans lame attempts

But was less successful.

JawsPredator1

His Steam profile
He played Counter-Strike. BAN IT!

He allegedly traveled the internets as JawsPredator1 and had an account at the German video portal video.gmx.net, on which he was flamed posthumously until the host decided to delete his account - see the hate in google cache

Some tough guys however decided to use his profile page to announce their evil plans:

AndreasMarcus1992 14.03.2009, 11:43 Uhr
Du hast das richtige getan Tim!! Aber cih werde dich überbieten und alle verfickten Menschen von meiner Schule abknallen -.- Und da im moment eh 100 von solchen drohungen kommen wird die polizei kaum ernst nehmen wenn noch eine drohung kommt... ich danke dir für die aktion.. aber mein lauf wird mit abstand der beste den die welt gesehen hat!

Translation:

AndreasMarcus1992 14.03.2009, 11:43 Uhr
You did the right thing, Tim!! But I will outperform you and kill all fucking people at my school -.- And since hundreds of these threats are coming anyways, the police will hardly take another one seriously... I thank you for your action.. but my run will be the best the world has ever seen!

the drama continues...

An Heroes Comparison: Kretschmer vs. McLendon

The day before Kretschmer enacted IRL Counter-Strike, Alabaman Michael McLendon went on a slightly less impressive spree in which he murdered eleven people (including himself) in a fit of Darwinian justice. While these two incidents are similar, their respective merits necessitate comparison for the sake of determining who obtained more points.

Kretschmer:

  • Killed five more individuals; wounded nine others (whether or not any of his victims were Turks - who aren't really people and are therefore worth fewer points - is not widely known)
  • Got Bonus for shooting eleven girls.
  • Was a crack shot, regardless of Germany's far more restrictive gun laws
  • Shot two cops after taking a bullet in each leg
  • Functioned as a fully serviceable killing machine despite numerous handicaps (teenager, whiner, German)

McLendon:

Whichever of these two garnered more points depends entirely on criteria implemented in calculating scores, but this much is certain: neither did it for the lulz or topped Cho's high score.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 15/20 (Injured 9)
Accuracy: 20/20
Those video games paid off!
Style: 18/20 Grand Theft Auto IRL
Butthurt: 18/20
Bonus: 17/20
Provided the world with much-needed lulz
Total score: 88/100 (B+)
I did it for the lulz.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png

___________________

Wanted2police.png


Police Force


Tim getting a footbullet

WASTED

Trolling from beyond the grave

Kretschmer has verified his position as an true hero by causing a huge debate over a possible ban of violent video games. On the 5th of June, the Secretaries For State Security of all 16 Länder proposed a ban on all "... games in which murder, torture or other inhumane acts of violence against humans or human-like beings are an important gameplay element..." - i.e. any game ever made except for Furcadia. Gamers all around Germany were outraged, proving that Kretschmer was not only an hero but is also an undead troll, continuing his work even after his death. Resistance is not expected, as it is unlikely that the German gaming community will stop masturbating, get up off their chairs and fight the good fight.

Vidyas


Sk00l Raider

The Game

Marc Lepine's Son

Ban assault video games!

Old Media chimps out

moar

moar

Oh shit sorry dad!


Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Moar

Jailsuicide.gif
Tim Kretschmer
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPodXbox]

Budd Dwyer.gif
Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonAugust AmesBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldDevin Patrick KelleyEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJustin-anonKatelyn Nicole DavisKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKimveer GillKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLil PeepLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRandy Robert StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SemanRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonScout SchultzSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStephen PaddockSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWilliam AtchisonXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

HighScoreLeft.png
Tim Kretschmer is part of a series on High Scores
[Game OverInsert Coin]
HighScoreRight.png
Single Player

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikAriana Grande MassacreAurora Theatre ShootingBaruch GoldsteinBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCampo Elías DelgadoCharles BishopCharles Whitman's TumorChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDevin Patrick KelleyDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerFort HoodGeorge SodiniJack Gilbert GrahamJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJeffrey DahmerJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlJason RodriguezKimveer GillKip KinkelLuby's massacreMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael RyanMr. SaariMutsuo ToiNghtmrchld26Nice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenOsama bin LadenPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRaoul MoatReina Nightclub MassacreRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSam HydeStephen PaddockTed BundyThomas Watt HamiltonTJ LaneTim KretschmerUnabomberVirginia Tech MassacreWade Michael PageZac Penton

Co-Op Mode

Boston Marathon BombingColumbineDallas Sniper AttacksJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisTimothy McVeigh

Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetHolocaustJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongPol PotSaddam HusseinWorld War II

 
Tim Kretschmer is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannIrvin Eugene Helton JrJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan Klebold Sam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

Tim Kretschmer is part of a series on Columbine
[All jocks stand up!NBK]
Columbineflower.png Columbine:

ColumbineEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSuper Columbine Massacre RPGDo you believe in godColumbine CopycatsColumbine GalleryColumbiners

Admirers

TheAmazingAtheistBrooke Higgins and Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiIchverbotAlex HribalJaylen FrybergKimveer GillRandy Robert StairRyan SchallenbergerRobert Butler Jr.Pekka-Eric AuvinenAdam LanzaJeff WeiseDillon CosseyAsa CoonNghtmrchld26Lindsay Kantha SouvannarathSebastian BosseTim KretschmerLynn AnnYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control