Tim Russert

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Good evening, I'm Tim RussHNNNNNNGGGGG
Tad Ghostal comes back to prime time!
Health consequences? R U KIDDIN!?
LOL FATASS! Someone should unban Tim if he stays out of the salad bar.

Tim Russert was a fat old media troll who got his jollies by picking on political fucks during his hour long show called "Meet the Press". He is best known on the intertubes for his untimely IRL ban for repeat fatassing. As a Child, Tim was molested by his Catholic father. He later wrote two award-winning books, mostly about himself and his dad having buttsecks.

Mr. Russert died of an apparent Twinkie overdose at 1:30pm Eastern Time on Friday the 13th, June 2008. His death rocked the Old Media hugbox, as many other newscasters are addicted to twinkies.

Tim Russert is now the Peter Jennings of obesity.


Before his death[edit]

Months before his IRL permiban, Tim Russert contracted the dreaded DIA-BEETUS! (RLY)

Some Argue the actual cause of death was the strain on his heart from buttsecks with Wolf Blitzer.

Others say he died of Coronary artery disease, brought on by years of Twinkies.

An Autopsy revealed that he weighed over 9000lbs at the time of his death. Tim Russert is now blamed for Old Media's money problems, he drove them into bankruptcy by IRL raiding their salad bar one too many times.

Timeline of Events[edit]

12:24pm: Russert finishes taping "EET THE TWINKIES"
12:43pm: Russert is seen in his dressing room having buttsecks with Wolf Blitzer
12:57pm: Russert begins taping the OM NOM NOM NOM voiceover for "EET THE TWINKIES"
1:02pm: Russert takes a twinkie break. Atleast 100 of Old Media's Twinkies are now missing.
1:17pm: God says "Thou hast ate meh Twinkies enough, let ye feel thy wrath of DIABEETUS"
1:22pm: Russert says "Damn, those new triple frosted Twinkies are so gooHNNNNNNGGGGG"
1:34pm: Paramedics use a flatbed truck to take Russert to the nearest hospital where he pronounced "IRL PERMIBANNED FOR RAIDING THE SALAD BAR ONE TOO MANY TIMES".
2:21pm: Wolf Blitzer does it with Timmy's fat corpse, one last time.

2008 Presidential Race Trolling[edit]

Everyone knows that before his IRL permiban, ol' Timmy Interviewed The Nigger, The Bitch, The Geezer, and der Fuhrer. He loved buttsecks trolling the presidential fuckers, and much lulz ensued when he PWNT them as a master debater.

Tim enjoyed the lulz created by asking Mitt Romney about his family life. He also asked Rudy Ghouliani about his stint on SNL as Hillary Clinton.




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