The toilet seat is a non-essential part of most lavatories. It is of little interest to men except when taking a crap. However, it seems to be of paramount importance to women, especially when they're trying to sell the idea to their mother that the reason she got knocked up is because they had to go potty really bad and didn't think to look to see if it was free of the cum shots that come from perverted asian men sneaking into the woman's restroom just to fire one off onto a toilet seat and get a poor innocent girl like her in trouble.
Little is known about the precise relationship between women and toilet seats, but it seems that when a woman encounters a supposed incorrectly configured toilet seat she explodes, often doing significant damage to the surrounding area' potentially including your home, your toilet, your mom and you. She will then go online and bitch about this in her Livejournal (if she is young) or on Yahoo! Answers (if she is not). Experts theorize that this whole problem first started when men became afraid to step to the bitch's face and tell her to look before dropping her big, fat ass (because secret feminist cabals succeeded in feminizing men through the idea of empathy being taught in schools). Some believe that this relationship between women and toilet seats has been created by Lifetime, the television network otherwise known as Satan. Others blame it on Tim Allen and other unfunny redneck comedians who took their own wives' neuroses and influenced other women to adopt them.
Male trolls who like danger can try to pull off this argument on a Woman preemptively. This so-called first strike involves pulling the same shit in reverse, starting a fight because she left the toilet seat down. While this won't generate lulz for the man, it will however generate lulz and sympathy in unimaginable amounts from every other male on the planet.
The toilet remains proof that man is losing the war of the sexes to his lessers because he is too damn afraid to stand up for his rights to stand up and piss for fear of society seeing him as uncaring and indifferant to a woman's needs. Further proof lies in the fact that in houses with a bathroom in the basement, that's where a man will be made to piss even if there is one only ten feet away.
Poetry Honoring The Good Ol' Days
In days of old
When knights were bold
And toilet wasn't invented
They'd lay their load
Upon the road
And walk away contented
- 1000 debates on the toilet seat on Yahoo! Answers
- 10,000 debates on the toilet seat over various newsgroups
- Some bullshit fucking nonsense about men turning into pussies beginning with the toilet seat.
- One man who JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
|Toilet Seat is part of a series on WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE?|