Tommy Tooter

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search

"there is nothing shameful about eating out of dumpsters"- Tommy Tooter

Tommy Tooter is a homeless man who is active on the internet.

He has dreams of striking it rich making money off the internet so that he need not go out on the street and blow his saxophone for money.

Oh, and he posted his SSN on a public usenet group before. This is an intelligent thing to do and will no way backfire on him.

Tommy Tooter is my stage name and is licensed to me. You gave up the right to use that license the moment you banned me and deleted my account. Either remove it now or you and I will have a nice day in court before a judge. I'll sue you and you and your anonymous friends can all be paying my rent money for the rest of your lives.


Tommy Tooter

Tommy makes the news[edit]

Tommy is mentioned in the paper in 1987 as the homeless man who has been around for five years, and was shot in the spleen while foraging for a half-eaten sandwich in the dumpster where he routinely deposits his shit wrapped up in a newspaper.

America is Everyone's home


—Thomas Jay Wasserberg

However, he immediately started a howling match with another guy whom he perceived as not quite having America as his home.

August 23, 1987|ALAN CITRON | Times Staff Writer
Thomas J. Wasserberg,  gaunt  and sunburned after
spending  five years in and around Venice, called
homelessness  a  myth.  "The  term "homelessness"
is  vicious  propaganda,"  Wasserberg said,  just
before  getting  involved  in  a bitter screaming
match  with a  merchant.  "America is everybody's
home." Yet the Wasserbergs of the world are still
largely regarded as pariahs  by more conventional
segments of the community.
November 12, 1987|ALAN CITRON | Times Staff Writer
Los Angeles police said that Thomas J. Wasserberg,
33, who lives at a beach encampment at the foot of
Rose  Avenue,  was  shot  in  the spleen on Monday
afternoon  while  foraging for food in an alley at
Sunset Court near the beach. Wasserberg is in fair
condition at UCLA Medical Center.

Tommy's facebook[edit]

Here is Tommy's facebook page. He complains in it of his writing getting yanked off and posted in blogs and forums and this page. He sometimes gets into slanging matches and his page gets deleted for abusive and threatening content.

An example of Tommy making friends and influencing people:

Tommy offers condolences on learning of a friend's loss of his family member

The old one was here:Tommy Tooter's page on facebook It is filled with what he considers interesting, like this picture:

Elephant boinked with a load of passengers.jpg

Tommy wants a primitive sort of population control, like unwanted pets get put down or sterilized. This is him shooting his keyboard off, on facebook.

Tommy wants unproductive people killed off



Tommy gets arrested so often, an image search for his name throws up his many expressions on the many mugshots he has up on the web.

He admits to using drugs prior to getting arrested:

the first time i ever got scooped up by the cops for being to weird in public was behind a blind dose of PCP. somebody busted out a dipped hooter. i could taste something strange in the first toke. felt totally wrong on the second toke, didn't take any more and tripped right out.


—Tommy Tooter

He explains that he had the money for bail, but was thrown in jail for technical reasons:

i had the bail. the bondsmen wouldn't do it without real property for collateral that none of my family or friends had.


—Tommy Tooter

Tommy Tooter was featured in the Austin Statesman's slideshow.

Tommy tooter featured in the statesmans slide show.png

Tommy Tooter belts out a tune on Riverside Drive hoping someone will appreciate his musical prowess enough to fork over some spare change. But he doesn't have a good feeling about today. 'It's been tough with gas prices so high.' he says,' when people don't have money they just ignore me.' Still, he does okay, 'better than any job I could have,' he says. Originally from Chicago, Tooeter has lived all over the country, he says, but has settled in Austin. He's been here for 12 years now.


Literary Efforts[edit]

Tommy Tooter joined various forums on the web, always with the aim of earning money off his literary efforts. He claimed to have unique and entertaining media to post, but always copy/pasted stuff without reading them first, and then went ballistic and abusive when asked to explain the media he had brought in.

Like a cat bringing in the decomposed corpse of a long dead mouse.

With great pride.

Sometimes, very rarely, he would provide glimpses into the Hobo lifestyle. Like at

i spread newspaper, crap on it , roll it up, stuff it in the bag and then throw it in a commercial dumpster.


—Tommy Tooter

He wants his daddy to go beat up the bullies[edit]

let me see some volunteers to go pranking over those two forums and i'll give specific targets ... i have targets spotted at at least 10 more sites if you folks entertain me with some freaked out foes responses.


—Tommy Tooter

He can't handle detractors on his own or reply logically when people poke holes in his arguments. So he joins yet another forum and tries to drag the people there into his fight.

Soliciting money for Homosexual encounters, also being a tranny[edit]

Tommy Tooter, passing as female.

He is actually a female:

the only thing really completely male about me is my penis ... all i wanted was to grow up and be a wife and mother


—Tommy Tooter

On a usenet thread, Tommy told people all about being a tranny

i wanted to be somebody's wife and mother when i was young and i was hoping for a guy. i still would, but only with all the proper working parts. without them, i'm a dicked dyke and will do a dude for money or get into it for fun with a righteous rainbow brother, but i prefer to lay naked with a woman. never done it with a guy yet and don't know how i'd feel. closest i ever came was a hermaphrodite punk rocker. you want to swap long strange road stories, i've got a cast of thousands and i don't have to embellish much to put them over either.


—Tommy Tooter wishing he was a female

i could  pass for a 35 yo straight chick with makeup, a wig and corset this weekend if anybody'd like to take me out for my debut night  on the town. you gotta buy the wig and corset because i don't have one. I have a decent hippie chick outfit otherwise, with dancing shoes. none of those six inch bimbo spikes for this dancing girl, let me tell you!  flat shoes, a big full skirt and a skimpy tank top my boobs stick out of already.


—Tommy Tooter believing he could pass

thomas is wore out. tommy needs to be on the surface in these troubled times. i feel safer and like less of a target for my words as a transgendered woman than a surviving 60's radical rabble rouser.  my old friends are understanding me much better as an excitable chick than an angry dude. especially folks who only know me online.  i'm feeling like a really sly bitch knowing i'm going to get my way a lot easier with boobs than anything else i've ever tried. money doesn't rule the world. tits, ass, pussy, fuck me hairstyles and paint jobs rule the world.


—Tommy Tooter transitioning for asspats

He wants $100 for a handy:

a $100 bill for me to touch his or let him touch mine.


—Tommy Tooter

He upped the ante soon after, however.

the bidding starts at $10, 000 in gold on the first blow job and a million in gold for the only ass fucking and nobody with anything more than 6" is going to get to bid.


—Tommy Tooter

More soliciting for sex:

i will masturbate you for ten hundred dollar bills and fellate you for a hundred of them.


—Tommy Tooter

She is EMANCIPATED[edit]

Tommy brags about his sexual conquests:

in 1983, i walked in the door to find my old lady and a 15 year old emancipated minor waiting for me in my bed. the assholes are trying to brand me a pedophile based on one 30 year old incident.


— Tommy Tooter

Their names:

sabrina was the 15 year old and meghan, the welfare mama.


—Tommy Tooter

But he is, of course, not a pedophile:

one session of oral sex with an emancipated minor is hardly a pedophile.


—Tommy Tooter

Tommy displays his legal expertise:

the girl was emancipated. i was under the impression that makes her an adult.


—Tommy Tooter

It was all ORAL!

i daresay that one session of ORAL sex with an emancipated minor is far less perverted


—Tommy Tooter

But it was so long ago, he is quite safe.

statute of limitations has long run out on it


—Tommy Tooter

It might just be a story he made up to entertain, however.

can you prove i wasn't writing fiction


—Tommy Tooter

Of course, he has an ally that watches out for him:

big al is pitching a complaint at the ISP as i write this


—Tommy Tooter

Steamy details here at An imgur gallery containing Tommy posts about Sabrina here.

To nobody's surprise, the pathetic pedophile that is Tommy lusts over 13 year old girls as long as they are "legal". He also pulled the classic "I didn't know she was 14 that many pedophiles use when they are caught:

first of all, i don't go looking for sex. i never have. it comes to me or i don't get any. if i were approached by a 13 year old girl who actually got me aroused, which isn't very easy when they're that young, and she has emancipation papers, i would accept her offer. sabrina was very mature looking and i didn't know she was only 14 until her 15th birthday. i thought it was going to be her 19th.


—Tommy Tooter

Tommy and bestiality[edit]

dogs are very expressive if you understand dog. when lady wanted her pussy rubbed, she made it real clear with her expression and the way she'd curl her tail sideways and stick it in your face. she'd totally light up if you asked her if she wanted noogies.


—Tommy Tooter, on pleasuring dogs

only the fertile females were masturbated and only when they were begging for it.


—Tommy Tooter preferences

seems reasonable, but i had some that followed me in there to try and drink my pee as it came out of the tap. dogs are strange. you can set a bowl of fresh clean water next to the toilet for them and they'll drink out of the toilet every time. i think they like the extra flavoring.


—Tommy Tooter and zoophiliac watersports

Busking in Tucson[edit]

He went to Quarzsite, set up shop there and then travelled to Tucson and settled there. Until he gets kicked out, that is.

It keeps getting better. I now have a lease on a space right at the corner of Broadway and Euclid for $395/mo and it's ok to run a business out of it.

I'm across the street from a park if anybody here wants to get a Sunday afternoon pot luck and drumming going.


—Tommy Tooter

Anybody want to take him up on it?

Even more better! Just put almost $50 in my pocket in less than 90 minutes on a corner less than 200' from my front door. Better still, the only cop I saw gave me a thumbs up.


—Tommy Tooter on facebook

He is getting perilously close to another free paid vacation courtesy Uncle Sam.

One of Tucson 's funniest told me to clear the median where the motorists and pedestrians had been treating me exceptionally well. If he sees me there again he'll cite me for something. The stationtold me there was no specific law saying I couldn't be there so I wonder what he'll cite me for. I hate to just give in. That corner has given me almost a hundred bucks for less than three hours work. Suggestions?


—Tommy Tooter

Of course, the suggestion that he work for an honest living doesn't get accepted.

Youtube channel[edit]

He has uploaded a few videos on Youtube. He speaks unintelligbly and sometimes blows his horn.

He had an account on but got banned for getting on camera, then demanding payment before he would start playing his horn.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Portal trolls.png

Tommy Tooter is part of a series on


Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.