Tony Stark is the star of the popular superhero documentary iRonman, where he develops a suit of robotic armour in a cave from a box of scraps for Apple's Steve Jobs in order to fight terrorists. He acquired his scientific skills from his father Angus MacGyver. In the second movie, he fought Joseph Stalin and invented an element. In the third movie, he fought a basement dweller-turned-Tony Stark wannabe and quit fighting terrorists to focus on what's more important.
Tony Stark is what every /b/tard envisions himself to be: a super-smart engineer mathlete asshole who fucks all the hottest chicks and has the coolest most tricked out computer with a shit-load of cooling fans, neon lights, and an ice-proof gold-titanium whateverthefuck advanced flying robot suit - and he built that in a damn cave. /b/tards, on the other hand, are assholes and flunking out of engineering school at a high rate, and the only things they could really manage to build in a cave are starvation, fail, and envy of Tony Stark.
In fact, this article was built by Tony Stark in a damn cave. Hell, think of anything - give Tony Stark a box of scraps, and he will build it in his cave. Tony Stark is like CRUISE CONTROL for Cave Builders. As the man himself said, "They say the best whoop is one you never have to shoop. I prefer the whoop you only need to shoop once. That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far."
My name is Tony, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world that doesn't involve the weapons my company produces falling into the hands of terrorists. Honestly, have any of you ever built an actuated exoskeleton and arc reactor in a cave? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own problems with ice build-up at high altitudes, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than stealing my plans and reverse engineering my original prototype.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I'm the head of a huge multinational defense contractor, and I built a fucking robot. What hobbies do you have, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also got straight A's at MIT and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; shit was SO CASH). You are all faggots who should just take some engineering classes. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my assistant
Tony Stark and his fan club of vacant anal cavities
Andries Price - "i like iron man 2 i like robert downey jr. as iron man i like don cheadle as war machine so i will see iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010 then i will see iron man 3"
Robert Downey - "im argee with andries price i like andries as my friend so andries will see iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010 see ya"
Don Cheadle - "im argee with andries price too. i like andries as my friend so iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010 see ya. ps i am black man cant act own grocery store and moar coconut bananas watermelon you-name-it-i-got-it."
Scarlett Johansson - "im argee with andries price i like andries as my friend i like to play black widow on iron man 2 it's cool so i like andries as my friend so see iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010. see ya. ps i like andries price so much i perform enema maybe no maybe yes if we meet no biggy."
Samuel L Jackson - "im argee with andries price i like andries as my friend too. i like to play nick fury on iron man 2 so i like andries as my friend so see iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010 see ya. ps im nick fury and i like andries price so much. i want okiss. ps i am black man."
Gwyneth Paltrow - "im argee with andries price i like andries as my friend i like to play pepper pots on iron man 2 so like andries as my friend so see iron man 2 in theatres may 7th 2010 see ya. ps i like play as pepper pots and i love andries price so much with all my chris martin and coldplay."
Tony Stark - "Ohyeh thnx haeps U gais. Also - i am Guido with diploma in dicks munch munch.
This is a story all about how
Tony Stark's world got flipped turn upside down
and I'd like to take a minute to ramble and rave
about how he started to build shit in a damn cave.
In Long Island, New York, born and raised
in tech labs is where he spent most of his days
chillin' out maxin', relaxin' all cool
makin' some missiles outside of the school
when a couple of terrorists who were up to no good, started makin' trouble in his neighborhood
He got in one little fight and Tony Stark got scared
and they said "You're making us a missile get in that cave over there."
I whistled for a suit and when it came near
The ass plate said fresh and it had iron in the mirror
If anything I can say this suit was rave
But I thought 'Naw forget it' - 'Yo homes to the cave.'
I shot lots of terrorists, maybe seven or eight,
And I yelled to the leader "Yo homes smell you later"
I flew back home the US was finally saved
To sit on my throne as the Iron Man of the cave.
Tom Waits' Rejected Theme For Iron Man 2
TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE, WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!
WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS
REMIX IT, SEXY STYLE
- His Creations Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Satan Claus and Killdozer (which he made in his cave).
- Iron Man Numbers
- War Machine - Iron Man's BFF.
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