Troll Kingdom

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
The Troll Kingdom logo.

Troll Kingdom was created by a group of TrekBBS rejects under the premise of complete free speech on the Internets.

Currently it is nothing more than a hive of crapflooding, attention whoring, and general admin circle-jerking, with its only redemptive feature being its uncanny ability to completely and utterly pwn would-be invaders, thanks to their assailant's desperate need for validation from the Troll Kingdom community they claim sucks at trolling (despite foaming at the mouth while posting there). Disregard that. All they know how to do is bitch, moan and edit this article with bullshit hoping that if ED says they are cool it will become true.

Although a complete shithole due to the aforementioned reasons, Troll Kingdom retains a constant circlejerk around a fabricated "glorious past" of wiping many now-defunct science and fanfiction boards off the face of the Internet. In reality, it is nothing more than just another baby-troll forum trying to play keep-up with the big boys.

missmanners[edit]

Originaly from Mugen Infantry under the username MissBHaven, she was the owner of Trollkingdom until she recently sold it to posters Coyote Ugly and Grandtheftcow for the money she needed to support her crack habit.

Current admins include Mentalist (a 90lb weakling Brit expatriated to the Greek Isles who claims to have once been a mob enforcer but is, in reality, lactose-intolerant and suffers from Tourette's Disorder) and Sarek (ex-Air Force washout who lurks in his basement debating the finer points of tranny sex with other members of TK).

SkinOfEvil[edit]

Typical TK user.

Although Troll Kingdom has had quite a few noteworthy trolls coddled within its noxious womb, none managed to capture and exploit the arcane sorcery of trolling to the extent which SkinOfEvil did.

After being scorned by a Star Trek actress no one gives a shit about by not signing her autograph for him, Skin proceeded to troll a messageboard of thousands by creating his "Who Raped Yeoman Rand?" thread (Explained here), in which he fingered Scotty as the rapist, much to the shock and anger of sobbing Trek nerds.

The ensuing lollergasm set in motion a complete lockdown of the largest Trek board on the Internet, which included a permaban troll massacre and set the foundation for the creation of Troll Kingdom.

A notable Skin dual was the demented MajorBarcalow, whose signature phrase "It makes me angery and magnesium," can be found archived here, in a comedy-trolling thread.

Whether or not his trolls were the end-all is certainly debatable. It was, in his words, the 'frontier days' of trolling. However, 5 years after his exploits, his name is still invoked by trolls who lack the vision to surpass him and other noteworthy trolls.

The Board[edit]

The admins are notorious for using the 'This is TK' defense, which admittedly works well in justifying their wildly inconsistent practices. In order to become an admin at TK, you must be an over-the-hill cunt who can win at the least the bronze at the circle-jerk Olympics, or send naughty PMs to the owner, missmanners.

The only invading group which has managed to make the admins look like the washed-up, has-been quaggledoos they are were the Ranters, a group of trolls who delivered a total smackdown IRL on a Nigerian scam artist while working with law enforcement, by completely overwhelming the board with sheer numbers and off-topic tangent spamming (Conforming to the Prime Directive of Free Speech) in a blitzkrieg which would make Hitler blush, forcing the admins to yet again change policy in order to save face.

The Ranters also gave out the home phone number of a particularly abrasive TK member to several Nigerian scammers, who could do nothing more than request it to be changed by his phone company.


HOW TO TROLL TROLL KINGDOM[edit]

All you have to do is call the members random insults that don't make sense, they will make countless threads calling you a loser and telling you to shut up, kill yourself, etc. They are all so desperate to "win" on the internet and prove to themselves that they aren't the ones being trolled, that they will not stop reponding as long as you don't.

JillianBacardi[edit]

NOTE: all of the following information has been proven false and included for historical reasons only. It was later discovered that JillianBacardi was, in fact, the TK board owner MissManners herself trolling the board in one of her usual attempts to bolster membership.

Regarded as by some to be at least a SOE-level troll, a batshit-insane woman picked up on an expedition to a mental health board.

After being trolled to the point were she took it upon herself to find the RL home phone number of a person who pwned her ass, called his wife and asked if he posted on the Internets, she was summarily subjected to a law suit by him, which smothered the last ember of her sanity. Regardless of the fact he and another troll no longer posted at TK, she was convinced that almost every account there is a sock-puppet under their control.

She has consistently raved for 2 years about TK being a front for a multi-national weapons, counterfeiting, and drug smuggling operation, and is also run by corrupt government officials who published her tax returns OTI and "ruined her life" (We shit you not.) Claims to have 'trolled' the FBI, and is responsible for there existing a folder at FBI HQ regarding TK, the owner, and herself, albeit an insignificant one.

Rumor has that JillianBacardi was a CIA experiment in social engineering and cult manipulation similar to Project Sidelight. TK member "Darth Sikle" claimed to have been in contact with her on several occasions. Board administrator "MissManners" ultimately IP banned JillianBacardi after legal threats were made.

Failures[edit]

The DLA[edit]

Being added to this list is the same as being forever marked a wannabe-troll/lolcow.

In late 2005, an insignificant band of wittering simpletons known only as the "Dual Liberation Army" appeared and in a shitzkrieg believed they seized control of the board's karma. This event was known as either the Karmpocalypse or the Karmageddon. Under the leadership of Val Kilmer's Dick, or VKD as he is now known (a known lifeless limpdick, who hides under numerous guises such as McSlothy, Panda, Mongo, Mr. Toad & pixiefroufrou), dual forces including the great Messenger, Dual, Toad (also VKD), and many others held the board in a grip of karma. Eventually (about 2 days later) the admins intervened and the DLA was struck down, although it exists to this day as a figment of VKD's imagination, whilst he registers more accounts to handjob himself with.


   
 
The DLA were a bunch of Fucktards. Karma doesn't matter which makes it clear that no forum can be brought to it's knees because of it. The only thing the DLA has managed to do is remember the past more fondly than what it really was, a nothing event that nobody cared about.
 

 
 

The above statment was edited in by a TK user, proving even more how butthurt they still are about it.

Forum Shut Down by 60 year old man[edit]

Further solidifying their status as weak baby-trolls. both the forum and their spin-off site "Troll Kindgom Radio" were shut down by known infamous failure flaglerchat.

Flaglerchat is an insane 60 year old man who failed so much in life (which he has spent stalking and suing people) that he resorted to spending his last years of life trolling web-forums. Most of all, he likes to troll pathetic internet cool kids who think they are trolls and burn down their pillow forts.

Flaglerchat almost always fails, except when he is going after lame failtrolls like the TK forums. He was able to close their main forum for a while and the radio site forever using nothing but dox, insults and false ToS violation reports. And the TK losers couldn't do anything about it besides call him a faggot to mask their bruised egos.

Furthermore, Flaglerchat went on to troll Jack Venooker, unofficial king troll of the site, directly by posting his dox everywhere and exposing him as a pedophile registered on NAMBLA. Jack was so butthurt he left multiple angry messages on his phone, told him he would call the cops on him and get 4chan to troll him.

See also[edit]

External Links[edit]