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Accurate parody of tumblr

tumblr (AKA dumblr) is 4chan's retarded 14-year-old sister/rape victim. It is a mainstream website that preaches the concept of needlessly minimizing the vowels in words, and it was created, perhaps, for blogging. While its original purpose has long since been forgotten, its present application is apparent: to provide a circlejerk space for every hipster, 16-year-old girl, and Indie artfag to post their favorite stolen photographs and pieces of mediocre art, "meaningful" subtitled stills or gif collages from pretentious popular films, as well as talking about how cool wolves are, all within a cesspool of self-congratulatory victim-hood. In short, tumblr consists of boring and vulnerable, boy crazy high school girls that wish they were someone else and the sensitive guys who ultimately win them over by posting desaturated Polaroids of their meticulously decorated bedrooms. Generally speaking, tumblr is the Internet's biggest hugbox. It doesn't matter what you post, as long as it's "progressive" some bleeding asshole will reblog it and jerk you off.

tumblr's population consists solely of only the coolest and most trendy kids in your nearest suburb or recently gentrified urban avenue, as well as talented 15-year-old photographers, poets and writers. If the Internet had property for its users to virtually dwell in, tumblr would be the gentrified neighborhood full of studio apartments, paid for by mom and dad. tumblr users probably want to go to art school to study painting, and likely will get in with enough hard work. But, alas, they are likely to drop out after discovering that reposting images on the Internet didn't magically give them talent.

tumblr is known for its high population of newfags who steal memes and claim them as their own and say that they "invented" them. What tumblr fags don't realize, is that all of these memes should have been forgotten last Thursday, and no one finds them funny, or even slightly humorous anymore. Most of the comics posted on tumblr contain all of these memes in every fucking panel because these so called "artists" can be bothered to draw the fucking faces themselves, but what the still don't realize is that using the punchline in every fucking panel kills the whole joke. They basically take something shitty, make it even shittier, and then share it with the world, and they all obsess over it like a bunch of fags.

Contents

Concept

tumblr is based around effortlessly sharing everything, no matter how pointless, boring, or cliche it is. tumblr also doesn't take into account that the data you're postin] may belong to someone else, so its users are free to take and repost another person's work with ease, most often without citing any source or author without punishment. However, since the website is run by Jews, those little technicalities are panned over.

tumblr allows its users to follow other users, which places their posts on their dashboard. The more users and Followers that "like" and repost your bullshit posts, the higher your "tumblarity" will become. Having a large amount of followers will most often result in the user sticking their head up their ass and believing that they truly have mad skills. With tumblarity, tumblr essentially becomes the high school of the Internet; people with the highest Tumblarity are rewarded with their blogs being named the most popular. Thus, the blog becomes not so much about blogging at all, but about how much people "like" the "cool" stuff you post - a mere popularity contest. The original concept of blogging in general is more or less lost when users become disillusioned from the original purpose of their blogging, and become more concerned with the number of people who "like" the beige picture of someone's feet that they posted.

tumblr in a Nutshell


History

David Karp, the creator of tumblr, and his MacBook. Big fucking surprise.

tumblr was created in 2007 by an obvious Jew named David Karp, initially funded by his earnings as a software consultant for a parenting website. After cajoling his userbase into throwing away their money into his wallet (AKA: fundraising), he had over $5 million dollars to help fund his website dedicated to hosting 200kb, low contrast pictures of anonymous people's belly buttons. To get an idea of the man Karp is, note that he gladly revoked the name of a random user and handed it over to Pitchfork media arguably for Indie cred.

His own tumblr, found here, hosts not only his massive popularity, but also randoms instances from his every day life, for all of his fans to read daily.

A few examples of the former would be the follow:


   
 
Anonymous asked: Why are you so cute and smart?


 


 
 

—Jew


   
 

I think it’s funny. But I think all your jokes people misinterpret are funny.
 


 
 

Jacob


   
 
For accuracy, when you read my posts and emails, hear them in Rorschach’s voice.


 


 
 


   
 
will everyone on my dash quit posting pics of david saying “daddy’s gonna protect us?!” as amusing as it is (and totally true, david karp can do anything, we are safe as long as he is here) but i have sexual fantasies about this man, y’all are making it awkward!!!


 


 
 

—typical tumblr user

The users

The average tumblr user is a white, well liked, interesting person to hang out with and mentally ill loser who is obsessed with Social Justice and it makes them a pain to be around because they won't shut the fuck up about trivial shitIRL. Once they start Tumblogging they become selfish hipsters that constantly complain about having no friends, no supporting family members and no love life because they think this will get people to "support" them by giving them asspats and follows. Becoming the ultimate hipsters of the Internet, they reject anything they think as "mainstream" and "popular", because they're all exceptional individuals.

The usual thing you'll see from a tumblr user is the post "Ask Me Something via My ask Box". DON'T FALL FOR IT! Most users who say this have serious cases of USI and aren't aware that most sane people have better things to do than ask a random person a dumb question that will most likely be answered in the most unintelligent way. If you do ever fall for it, make sure they have 'anonymous' turned on so that you can tell them something offensive. They'll most likely respond with sarcasm or with "I'm too cool for this shit," which forces their followers to become white knights and flood them with "Don't listen to that anon! You're awesome and have my full permission to use me as your personal army!"

About 99.8% of the time, someone follows another person without liking a single one of their posts. They only do this in hopes of getting more followers themselves. Following the follower back only solidifies how much of a loser the followed one is (probably because they want to hold on to the idea that someone actually cares about the lame shit that they post). 0.1% of the time that someone follows another is because the follower thinks the followed is cute and wants to fap to the followed's GPOY's. the other 0.1% is actually someone who cares and they're usually a friend IRL or a family member.

tumblr users LOVE to fuck around with genders and sexuality, due to most of them being hormone filled teenagers. They have a manic obsession with gender identity that they use to describe their appreciation of gay porn as some kind of "activism". Their fetish for transgender and sexually confused people, originating from a deep insecurity and self conciousness that is their reason for frequenting tumblr in the first place, has created many lulzy moments for the interwebs over the last few years. For maximum trolling potential, tell them that gender is a biological factor determined by physical bodies and genitalia, and not how someone perceives themselves, that physically there's only 2 of them, and that they confuse the concept of gender with sexuality.

Fine example of tumblr faggotry, satirized by /b/

tumblr users and "socializing"

Some tumblr users view it as a great place to socialize with friends in groups. This is as good an idea as trying to date someone from 4chan's /b/.

tumblr users HATE when their own friends follow them, which is a peculiar thing. Mainly because all they ever do is rage and bitch about people they know IRL and outside of tumblr which might eventually destroy friendships or relationships and expose how horribly shallow and moronic most tumblr users really are. Despite this, people still think tumblr is still a great place to meet and socialize with friends on tumblr, and by "friends" we mean balding 20-something-year-old welfare leeches who are just looking for some ass under a largely-anonymous user name.

Homestuck fangirls

tumblr has a large population of Homestuck fantards. Typical Homestuck fantards are 16-year-old girls who pretend to be a lesbian, or bisexual to get followers, or some other unheard of sexual orientation. Another chunk of them draw My Little Pony porn for all their autistic brony followers, or make shitty RPs with their friends. They also tend to have SUP3R NUMB3R [email protected] SP311ING SKI11S or nonexistent spelling skills at all despite being straight A honor roll students. They're easy to troll and spot based on their Homestuck, anime, Pony, or "artistic" avatar. Best way to deal with them is to hate Homestuck, guaranteed lulz from the butthurt fantards. Warning: the majority of Homestuck fantards on Dumblr tend to suffer from Assburgers or GOTIS.

Retarded hipster-wannabe 16-year-old girls

   
 
i was voted best girl blunt roller of shirley, ny.

And i even topped off some guys too. What can I say, im an amazing pothead.
 


 
 

Tumblricon.png soilife

A typical tumblr whore that suffers from wigger syndrome: Tumblricon.png soilife

A new breed of 16-year-old girls has surfaced, in an apparent attempt to protest and whore attention away from typical Snapchat 16-year-old girls who are obviously at least 100 times hotter. Th...is new breed is 40% indie(and trying to pretend they don't listen to Linkin Park and Paramore), 30% deformed, 20% idiot, and 10% unrealistic expectations wrapped together with the same desperate whoring that is the fiber of 16-year-old girls. Expect these girls to have a tumblr in which they spam pro-ana photography of girls they so desperately wish to be, post the most recent indie (overrated) tunes such as Radiohead, MGMT, Arcade Fire and Sigur Ros, and love weed because they're progressive and liberal. They also claim to love reading despite only reading Harry Potter and whore on about how HP is better than Twilight and Joseph Gorden Levitt is better than Robert Pattison. The majority of what comes out of the mouths include whining about getting a new job, looking for that special someone and telling people about what they ate today.

First, they'll tell you how much they love the pointless, pretentious, nonsensical, and edgy mind-fuck movie they just watched. They'll also bring up whatever shitty band was just on TV. Then they'll try to discuss philosophy without having ever studied philosophy but maybe just Wikipedia'd Sartre and found it too hard to finish and precede to bastardize Sartre by posting only quotes by him pertaining to love and dying alone. Maybe with some deep and edgy Nietschze quotes thrown in for good measure. Then they'll show you pictures of their scratched up Crosely vinyl record collection, full of shitty mainstream "indie" artists such as lana del rey or Halsey. Despite being exactly identical in personality, let alone their physical appearance, they believe themselves to be hot unique hipster shit. They also believe themselves omnipotent super chicks incapable of error and will argue with you if you disagree with them and respond with "This is my life who are yous to say what I can't or not can do leave me alone haters(:!!!".

Extremely vulnerable and stupid, pretending to be a geeky boy who plays in a band and likes the same shitty music is the easiest way to squeeze out nudes from these chicks. Be warned, at least 100% are average and deformed.

In a somewhat unsurprising new trend, many of these underage teenagers now see it "hip" and "cool" to be interested in SciFi films and TV shows. Something that only 5 years ago would get omegas bullied to death in high school. Despite knowing 0 knowledge about the back-story behind any of the works that they are reading, these 16-year-old girls will often pose as though they understand it deeply. They don't. Pretending to support this new trend is a 101 to dating 16-year-old girls over the Internet for omegas, even though in reality it increases your chances of getting laid in real life by exactly 0%

Asians

Herds of Asian have been swarming tumblr. Their blogs (typically titled with doublee letterss and an obnoxious phrase about themselves) consist of thought-inducing photoshopped pictures with unrelated quotes on them, angled webcam pictures of themselves and other ugly Asian tumblr users, and bawww posts about how much they hate their high expectations asian parents. Most of them are filled with azn pride, but everyone knows they're really a bunch of wannabe-black assfucks. Every now and then, they'll post about a recent break-up, complete with a photo/video of their fugly crying faces. Both male and female users do this, proving that they're all a bunch of fags. The asian guys pretend to be black person despite planning to become engineers after they graduate high school. The asian girls post about their favorite azn dramas, obnoxious k-pop boy/girl bands, pictures of desserts and bubble tea, and seemingly somehow still manage to get a 4.0 GPA despite the fact they can't form complete sentences and fail math. Both genders will have "Like a G6" by the Far East movement on autoplay.

Black Tumblr

By far the most cancerous part of tumblr, black tumblr. Consists of white guilt suffering 14 year old girls, black lives matter fags, pseudo-intellectual niggers that dropped out of high school in 10th thinking they're an expert on everything, and WE WUZ KINGZ AN SHEIT niggers wanting those evil white devils to compensate for enslaving their lazy nigger asses. They'll bitch about everything and turn everything into a race issue. Black Tumblr is also known for being "Woke", which is believing every conspiracy theory brought to you, thinking cops are all trigger happy racists, and that white people are keeping niggers down, all while collecting welfare and unemployement checks since their middle school education failed to land them a job at McDonald's. They easily fall for bait and can't think for themselves. Also known for their overusage of gif images featuring niggers from Real Housewives, reality TV shows, and Nicki Minaj.

Erik Rhodes

90 Day Jane started shooting roids and dropping drugs, then got a tumblr and became one of its most mocked users.

Tumbears

What you fap to.

Social Justice bloggers

Fake oppression.png

To some people, the best way to win at tumblr is to be the most oppressed, discriminated against person with the shittiest life in the world. A great way of doing this is to be a minority.

Be sure to plaster all manner of stamps, stickers, memes and macros all over your tumblr to advertise your minority-of-choice and how positive you are about them, but only ever mention the negative things about being one. This is sure to endear you to all the Social Justice bloggers who will forever be walking on eggshells around you and treating you like the special snowflake that you are, after all, you people get offended so easily. Like the majority of tumblr users, they will often reblog with a bunch of animated gifs to cover their own butthurt.

tumblr slang

  • GPOY: Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself. Often used on pictures to express that it's you and whoever looks at the picture should receive a resemblance of you in it's entirety.
  • THIS: The word "this" is to describe the picture or comment that the typer believes to be the one and only true picture to ever be s0per kewl and I don't even because oh my GaGa ...THIS^^^ ..
  • Ukulele: It's an instrument, however, this word is used to cover up that the person who claims to have one, and to be an exceptionally good player, is actually trying to mirror an image that they are talented because, seriously, who plays a fucking Ukulele and thinks they're hot shit?
  • Meme: Anything with a picture and words on it.
  • 5T4S: Meaning that if you know what it means then you deserve to know. In reality it was a bunch of fucktwats who believed there should be separation of people who stumbled across tumblr and of those who made a tumblr because of MTV. Except for this whole Jewish holocaust that would've happened, tumblr turned on itself and anyone claiming 5t4s now is declared a fat cunt.

Gender and sexual orientation

tumblr users have an unhealthy obsession with gender identity and sexual orientation. Some of the greatest and brightest users on the website have discovered genders and sexualities unknown to the human race ever before. Therefore, tumblr bloggers are smarter than college-educated scientists. tumblr has discovered the following:

  • Bigender/Trigender/Pangender: A mutant alien with a penis, a vagina, and something else no one wants to find out.
  • Cisgender: A normal person who is the scum of the planet.
  • Demiboy: Someone who has half of his penis cut off.
  • Demigirl: Someone who has a mutilated vagina.
  • Genderfluid: Unsure if you have a penis or a vagina on different days of the week, especially on Thursday.
  • Two spirit: Don't identify as this unless you're Native American otherwise you're a RACIST!!!!1111.
  • Asexual: The lack of sexual orientation because you know that every human being on the planet is a piece of shit. The best part is tumblr loves and supports asexuals with their dying breaths, so you'll have a flock of morons worshipping you.
  • Bisexual: What everyone on tumblr wishes they were deep down inside.
  • Demisexual: Being an arrogant douchebag who only deems certain people as "worthy."
  • Gynosexual: Attaction to anyone who seems like they have a pussy.
  • Heterosexual: Exclusive attraction to the opposite sex, you inconsiderate fucktard.
  • Homosexual: A regular, garden-variety faggot.
  • Pansexual: The fear of pot.
  • Sapiosexual: Sexually attracted to intelligence; in other words, doomed to dying alone.

tumblr's content

  • Thinspo. Every 16-year-old girl is guaranteed to have at least 100 pictures of skinny models wearing sundresses or half naked on her blog representing not only her Indie fashion love (she doesn't know shit about fashion; she just likes vintage filters) but also her desperate insecurity about her "average" looks.
  • Pictures of couples in luv 4 eva Every teenager on tumblr will have pictures of indie/scene couples kissing or in a sweet compromising position to express their sensitivity and heartache. Expect the couple to have their faces covered or cut out and heavily photoshopped because they're ugly.
  • Homestuck Almost as common as My Little Pony, Homestuck has a very large presence on tumblr. Typical Homestuck fantards on tumblr are usually gay losers or lesbians doing nothing but posting shitty artwork and getting in shitty RPs. A good chunk of them are also SJWs that think everything is racist, sexist, and against them. They have a persecution complex bigger than bronies.
  • Food Out of all things you can photoshop, food has got to be the most ridiculously meticulous and detailed. Hipsters will go ape shit for a cup of yogurt on a floral pattern cloth angled and shot with a Nikon/Canon then photoshopped and filtered with fake bokehs. You will even see it happening with fucking KFC, just remember to to include a green background because it's "complimentary to the red". 40k a year art school and that's what they have to show for it.
  • Harry Potter tumblr is infested with teenagers who think themselves to be so special just because they dislike Twilight and love Harry Potter. They claim to LOVE reading, but we all know that is a huge lie. The only things they HAVE read are Harry Potter and the responses to their reblogs. They claim to love books and constantly post fashion pics of indie girls reading books, but in reality they organize their bookshelf by color and size and only watched the movies because reading hurts for them.
  • Quotes Get a picture of space or the stars, put a photoshop filter on it, some triangles, then use Helvetica and put some quote on it and wait for your over 9000 followers
  • Movies Every movie screencap on tumblr is either Mean Girls, the Virgin Suicides, Inception, or the Avengers (and it's always of the whiny bitch, Loki)
  • Role-Playing Role-playing groups on tumblr have also taken the welfare-dependent shut-in crowd by storm.
  • Indie music tumblr loves shitty hipster bands like Vampire Weekend, Mac Demarco, The 1975, or any other band with a skinny effeminate barista singing in a faux British accent.
  • Newfag shit tumblr is the reason there aren't any real memes anymore.
  • Porn At least half the content of tumblr is porn, which the tumblrites are fiercely protective of to the point they protested the takeover by Yahoo! in fear that it would all be taken away to make it "family friendly". Clearly Yahoo! realized the site was filled with the socially inept and left them to their fapping. Most porn uploaded on tumblr is in black and white, making it very hard to fap to.
  • Ugly British Actors tumblr is full of 16-year-old girls who think that their obsessions with homely bridge trolls like Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston make them SO EDGY XD, while any normal person realizes these guys are "2/10 Would Not Bang" at best. Their tumblr feeds are littered with crappy movie/TV show gifs and the most putrid fanfic you'll ever have the misfortune of reading. When not on the Internet, these fangirls are likely rummaging through celebrity garbage, camping outside of hotels, or trying to fight restraining orders.
  • Doctor Who With the addition of Ugly British Actors comes the disturbingly large amount of Canon and Fanon posts about Doctor Who, aka that shitty and extremely overrated limey show. tumblr is literally Mecca for fans of that shit, thus making you hate it even more. Like Harry Potter, most posters are either just bandwagon fags who post in order to get followers and most likely have never seen one episode, or are nerds who think they are so unique by posting a bunch of shit fanart or cosplay.
  • Anime When weeaboos on tumblr are not busy arguing on whether their favorite characters are trannies/mentally ill/300 moles in a suit, redrawing them as niggers, or ruining their favorite shows in general, they are busy appreciating fanart.
  • Teenaged Girls Who Shoplift: totally not making that up. Tumblr has a subculture of fucked up spoiled 15-year old girls who openly brag about stealing makeup and lingerie.
   
 
A username like Stingray-Lift, inspired by the target of Barbie’s first heist, allowed other shoplifters on Tumblr to recognize her as one of their own. Most usernames make fairly obvious references to stealing—names like Liftswift, Babyklepto, Stealthethings, Rosie-the-Lifter. The lifters congregate in the Tumblr hashtags, aggregating posts under #myhauls or #liftblr, and crowdsource heavily notated guides to shoplifting. They reblog instructions on how to safely remove security tags and share intel on the various loss prevention policies of department stores and mall shops. They carefully itemize their purloined merchandise.....The girls pile dozens of Kat Von D lipsticks, Urban Decay eyeshadow palettes, and Anastasia Beverly Hills contour kits on their beds and floors, arrange them in neat configurations, and take meticulous photos to document their spoils and share with their followers. Their regular targets are exclusively the largest corporate retail chains: Sephora, Macy’s, LUSH, Forever 21, and Claire’s are favorites, but Victoria’s Secret and Ulta appear the most frequently in their hauls. “While lifting, personal loss needs to be at a minimum,” says Unicorn-Lift. “This means I only lift from stores that are multi-million dollar companies. I would never steal from a person or a small local store.” Barbie and Unicorn-Lift abide by a prevailing rule in this Tumblr community, one of many informal commandments shared among the bloggers: Thou shalt not rip off mom-and-pop shops.

Many of the lifters argue that what they do undermines a capitalist system that victimizes workers and exploits consumers. “I kind of lift with a Robin Hood philosophy,” Barbie says. Sometimes she gives the things she lifts to family and friends. Sometimes she keeps them for herself. “I essentially believe: take from the rich, give to the poor and fuck capitalism,” she writes in an “about me” section on her blog. “I’m a democratic socialist and think capitalism is a plague to America.” And then, an addendum: “yes I still am a greedy materialistic person. But it’s okay because I’m self aware!”
 


 
 

LOL

tumblr & 4chan's /b/

It's been long known that tumblr rarely produces its own original shit, so it isn't really a surprise when old rejected fail memes from /b/ make it big on tumblr. The only problem is that tumblr users are incredibly egotistical and think they own everything that they see on their tumblr dashboard regardless of where it originally came from.

If you post it, it immediately becomes part of tumblr culture, amiright?

4chan's /b/ really couldn't give a fuck where all its shit memes went to, but unfortunately for the Internet the thing /b/ hates most these days is cancerous newfags. Not only is tumblr the cancer that is killing the Internet, tumblrfags actually think they deserve praise for their fail raids on Omegle and false sense of originality. The hatred brewing between these two communities could possible lead to a cyber war between tumbloggers and /b/tards that this side of the Internet has ever seen!

Newfaggotry rampant among 16-year-old girls

tumblr as of recent is full of idiots who suddenly feel like /b/ because they bitched about Jessi Slaughter. Interconnected with each other and suddenly believing themselves to be 1337 army capable of damage like Anonymous, tumblr's party van consists of being covered with stars/space/forest wallpaper, triangles, running on weed and love instead of Gas, ringing Radiohead sirens, and driven by hipsters in Native American headdresses. tumblr trolling is needed ASAP in order to show them where they belong. Easy troll pickings are everywhere.

Trolling tumblr

Operationoverlordtumblr1.png
Nuvola
Moar info: Operation Overlord.

Somewhere during the night of November 10, 2010, some newfags declared war on tumblr due to the fail raid of Omegle by tumblr. /b/ came up with Operation Overlord and reclaimed Omegle while some script kiddies tried to DDoS tumblr. No shit this plan will fail failed, seeing as tumblr runs on multiple servers and half the community are sick fucks who regularly look at porn and gore to be ironic. /b/ will need to get creative. Only newfags try to force raids and think gore is the worst they can do. Lurk moar and get to know your enemy, cancer.

How to properly troll tumblr

  • Gorn The weak link in the tumblr community are naive 16-year-old girls and high school scene indie kids who use tumblr to camwhore and talk about their favorite shitty band like Blood on the Dance Floor and Katy Perry. These innocent naive kids who have been sheltered all their lives will be the ones most affected by gore and porn; the rest of the community spend 5 hours a day on the Internet and are not phased by gorn because in their hipster careers, they've seen worse.
    • When you post up the gorn, tag it with #fashion, #love, #skins, #harry potter, #food, #art, #tom hiddleston, etc to ensure only the young/weak ones of their clan get the dosage. Try at best to follow the little naive kids and change your background to gorn.
  • Heated arguments tumblr is comprised of cliques, not so much a whole community. tumblr has users from all around the world having many different interests whether it be furry porn or hentai.
    • Try to start race wars.
    • Tell off the white liberal hippies
    • Argue furiously about how they should become Christians to "save themselves"
    • Tell them you hate gay rights
    • Tell the tumblr trans that they're not really boys/girls/squirrels/whatever they identify as
    • Do as any other ideological fight
  • Javascript Remember that tumblr customization allows Javascript
    • Google up HTML/Javascript redirect script and redirect them to nimp. Put on blog, put up hot profile pic of hipster chick, like a bunch of posts etc
      • Or pretend to be a fashion blog and put the nimp link in the click through
  • GPOYs and Topless Tuesdays Find the ugly ones and post them on ED for the world to marvel at the carnival/zoo that is tumblr
  • Facebook The one thing that tumblr hates more than hipster shit are their 16-year-old girl classmates. The best way to troll tumblr is to get as many high schoolers from Facebook to come over to tumblr and turn it into Myspace. Nothing infuriates them more than seeing cheerleaders typppe lykeeee dissss omggg and like, talk about the bessst boyfrann in teh worlddd!!111 <333333
  • Recommended List if possible, get as many /b/rothas to recommend you into the recommend blogs to get more publicity
  • Pro-anas and lias Search for "thinspo" "pro ana" "gb" etc and find some anorexic and bulimic girls, then go to their ask boxes and tell them how fat they are/how huge their thighs are to trigger them.

tumblr raids

At least 100 years ago, tumblr has taken to poorly attempt trolling, via Omegle. The trolling consisted mainly of starting chats, typing "HNNG", and if replied with a "HNNG", swapping tumblr urls. Obviously, we have much to learn from these overly advanced beings. Like all fags, they're incredibly easy to troll.

  1. Go to Omegle on a tumblr troll day
  2. Start a chat with "HNNG" or "WHAT IS AIR"
  3. Ask for URL

tumblr hacked


   
 
I keep anon on so we all can laugh at purely pathetic people.


 


 
 

—A dildo obsessed emo known as Tumblricon.png Fake Dick, secretly butthurt.

   
 
Sorry dumbshit /b/tards, but I'm not gonna let your shitface cock sucking 4chan ruin my tumblr sanctuary.


SO BEAT IT OR I’LL GET SCARY.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png letsgetfuckedup (ALSO A NIGGER LOL)

   
 
I swear if they shut down my tumblr, I’m gonna go grab my machine gun and hunt em all down and kill them one by one, whoever the fuck is running that shit.


Just sayin.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png kickahpowahh

   
 
If my account gets hacked by 4chan…
Then imma be so happy ‘cause that means i’m famous enough to get hacked!


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png erkerk

   
 
let me the first to say, 4chan is a worthless piece of shit. At least Tumblr looks decent, it looks like a four-year-old built their site. BRING IT CUNTS.


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png diegoxdisco

   
 
4chan is trying to shut down Tumblr through hacking the site..


Well guess what, FUCK YOU 4CHAN. I don’t care what your reasoning is, but if you shut down Tumblr, I will personally come after you.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png kaitlynmills

   
 
Well, obviously we have a Troll here on Tumblr,
They’re trolling all of our blogs, tryina shut our site down, so if they do it y’all gon need to.. Pack your blogs, hide your posts, pack your blogs, hide your posts, pack your blogs, hide your posts, And say goodbye to Tumblr, cuz they’re shuttin us down in November.
They don’t have to come and confess, we know who they are. They’re so stupid, they’re so stupid. This isn’t the first time, not the first time, not the first time, tumblr’s been down for maintenance.
You’ve got our IP, trying to spread fear and all. You are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real. You say you’re gonna shut us down on the 14th, and you say that you’ve been working on it already. So dumb, so dumb, so dumb so….
They’re trolling all of our blogs, tryina shut our site down, so if they do it y’all gon need to.. Pack your blogs, hide your posts, pack your blogs, hide your posts, pack your blogs, hide your posts, And say goodbye to Tumblr, cuz they’re shuttin us down in November.
They don’t have to come and confess, we know who they are. They’re so stupid, they’re so stupid. This isn’t the first time, not the first time, not the first time, tumblr’s been down for maintenance.


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png shufflethedeck

   
 
We are like the Civilized version of 4chan


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png theoriginalbadass

   
 
BRING IT ON 4CHAN!!!! BRING. IT. ON!!!!!!!


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png letthemusicbeyourguide

   
 
Tumblr Dumbledore’s Army, 4chan Death Eaters, we’re stronger, and better. they will fail.


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png edgartv

   
 
If 4chan is so big and mighty, then why the hell have I not heard of them untill today?


I’ve been trollin’ on the Internet wayyyy before I found the life I now call tumblr, and 4chan has always been unheard of to me.
So, I can’t help but laugh at this threat. It might turn out to be try, but right now it kinda sounds like a bunch of DnD nerds who still live in their mothers basements.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png stormxcloudsxandxhailxstones

   
 
COUNTER-TROLL. Go to /b/, now, and see what it’s like. Go there post a thread saying ” Hai guise!!!1!!! I’m from Tumb1r!!! Oh, yeah THE GAME. Lololol.”(or post anything else but say you’re from Tumblr) and then leave they’ll get all mad and troll that thread and waste their time. Veryy simple.


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png 72virginsaroundtheworld

   
 
lolololol /b/ try and fuck with us, just try.


 


 
 

Tumblricon.png cuntofdoom

   
 
4Chan Is Apparently Taking Down Tumblr?


So apparently some fags are taking down Tumblr because they’re jelly? Seriously leave Tumblr alone and get some fresh air, crack open your basement window if you nerds have to. Obviously your plan isn’t going to work, people who love the site are going to work hard to get it running back up in no time. Bring on the LOIC cannon Oldfags.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png despisedramos

   
 
If some Porno bitch hacks my tumblr tomorrow


I’ll go ape shit.

 


 
 

Tumblricon.png saaamsays

Previous Quote | Next Quote


tumblr reacts


November 14: DOOMSDAY

left/b/'s hackers unleash worm on tumblr. Archive today-ico.png ADRIAN CHEN OF GAWKER COVERS STORY

Comparable to the 2012 of tumblr, dumbshits all over start freaking out at their impending doom. Naive simpletons simply blanked their page and put in a "lock layout", convinced somehow changing the layout automatically means not being able to be hacked. "4chan" charts Twitter trends and various blog sites who have nothing better to talk about join in on the fun. tumblrfags bid goodbye to their "precious followers" and deactivated their accounts. Desperate and helpless, many start turning to Jew, their glorious owner and beg him for help on his twitter account. Everyone starts referring to him as "Daddy", used as in "Daddy's gonna save us" and "Don't worry, Daddy's here!".

When the DDoS attack of 11/14 began, /b/ was pumped already. Few minutes in, tumblr was down for 1/3 and slowing for the rest. David Karp disabled ask on his blog.

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However, some mod took down 4chan's domain but the boards were still up. Dumbshits believed tumblr to have reversed DDoSd 4chan when in reality /b/ was betrayed by their own mods (some argue because the bad publicity was going to ruin moot's new project, Canvas). The confusion result in neither website having permanent damage but instead of Anonymous getting a sex slave. Thus out of the ashes, 4chumblr was born. The epitome of everything cancer, newfag and lack of organizational skill ruled by the ADHD and sex drive.

TECHCRUNCH ATTEMPTS TO DECLARE TUMBLR VICTORY; NEED TO LURK MOAR

12/6/2010 AKA SLOWEST NEWS DAY EVER

tumblr went down somewhere around the night of 12/5/2010 apparently because the 16 people at staff couldn't handle the length and girth that is the big black person cock of a server maintenance. They managed to fuck up their database and promises to be "Back shortly", despite the fact tumblr has been down for a day. News media who apparently are butthurt over the fact they didn't get to cover the 4chan vs tumblr story, along with having the slowest news day possibly imaginable, starts covering the story of tumblr's downtime with intense detailed and watch eye stalking tumblr's twitter for any update no matter how small and insignificant and includes using random people's tweets as viable journalism sources. CNN, Gawker, Techcrunch, and god knows who else.

Galleries

General About missing Pics

tumblr Confessions About missing Pics

Quotes

 
 

"Many people on Tumblr have issued responses, acceptances and even apologies on their pages, which all come down to the same thing: "Leave us alone, we didn't do anything to you". However, because they've done this on their own page, nobody will ever see it. Not many of them have considered that a statement should actually be issued somewhere where the opposing side will see it. So, on behalf of Tumblr, an open letter has been written. Please read it, and think about it.

Look,

We didn't do anything. To say that we "stole memes" from you is ridiculous. The very nature of a meme is that it spreads around the whole Internet. You can't claim that everyone "stole" the Rickroll from you - if nobody had bothered with it except you, it wouldn't be as infamous as it is now. Memes spread. Deal with that. Furthermore, you know that. You know that we didn't do anything to offend you, and that it doesn't really matter. So why carry on?

We'll tell you why; because you were told to. You might agree with our last paragraph, but you'll still join in with the raid, so that you can say that you were a part of it. The real reason will eventually be lost. And then what? Then you yourself will become memes. Pointlessly firing off DDoSes at us, hoping that eventually you'll shut us down. Don't you think that if that was going to happen, it would've done already? It's been hours, and apart from the odd jump (which we're used to, doesn't affect us much if we have to press F5 once), the attack has failed. Some people will have logged off, out of boredom. They've realised that nothing will happen. They had the common sense to log off, give up, maybe watch a movie, go outside...or just keep browsing /b/. That last one seems most likely, but that's fine. /b/ can be a fun place, when it's not terrorizing the rest of the web.

We know, we know, we trolled you too. And yeah, we failed pretty hard. But that was just an attempt to get back at you! Most people probably didn't know about 4chan until you guys did your thing, they just wanted to join the game, and get you back. It made zero impact. But that wasn't all of us. The majority of us were a little worried about the site going down, but knew that it'd be pointless to try and fight back. All we could do was survive. A few select individuals were dicks, yeah, but that wasn't the majority. In fact, the frightening beforehand was probably more effective than the actual attack! But we're done now. It's over. It's finished. Most of /b/ has forgotten, but there are still people attacking us. If you're one of them, please stop. If you're not one of them, please spread the word. Get others to stop. If you agree with this, get it on /b/ as a cease-fire for both sides. It was fun, and this day will go down in history as a moderately successful raid, but let it end now. You can say that you won if you want (you probably did), because we won't care too much, but you can have this victory.

Congratulations, /b/. Game over.
Thank you
 


 

—The people of tumblr

Trolling tumblr

  1. Tell them since they all worship Kurt Cobain as an idol; they should all follow in his footsteps and become an heros
  2. Find a average looking girl who enjoys pro-ana photography and trigger her into ED
  3. Be conservative and tell others art school and majors in philosophy and English will lead nowhere in life
  4. Along with that; point out Lady Gaga sucks to faggots and be against all gay rights
  5. Point out stealing memes and pretending to be like /b/ doesn't make them awesome
  6. Call Michael Jackson a deranged pedophile
  7. Point out socially awkward penguin and Forever Alone are horrible and killing the ENTIRE Internet
  8. Misspell shit like crazy. tumblr users are Grammar Nazis and will go ape shit over any spelling errors even if they're typos. For example make sure you fuck up the following: your and you're; Their, they're, and there; To, too, and two. However, you will not be accused of grammatical errors if you are black—as that would be micro-racism[1], and remember: blacks cannot be bad.
  9. Say Arcade Fire sucks major balls
  10. Follow them, then when they follow back, unfollow them
  11. Follow someone who hates your blog. When they ask/beg you to unfollow them (usually in the manner of a pretentious faggot), keep following them and like/reblog their posts often.
  12. Tell everyone that Joseph Gordon Levitt is sucking Taylor Lautner's cock
  13. Mention that you are 13 and pregnant, enjoying partying and getting high, and pretend to like everything they like
  14. Pretend to be an awkward indie boy who plays in a band, studies philosophy and likes the same shitty music. Wait for fangirls; ask them for nudes, ??? PROFIT
  15. Say that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold would hate them if they didn't kill themselves.
  16. Point out that calling David Carp daddy is creepy as fuck
  17. Be as conservative as possible. Make sure you make it abundantly clear that you hate the liberal agenda and want everyone to believe in Jesus.
  18. Support the Tea Party and be proud to be American
  19. Be against Marijuana legalization
  20. Say Twilight is better than Harry Potter
  21. Get as many 16-year-old girls from Facebook to join in order to infuriate tumblr into complaining how it's turning into Myspace
  22. Be a cis-gendered, heterosexual, white male
  23. Post that tumblr will be deleting/Yahoo will be censoring their precious PORN!!1! Link to staff blog. Sit back and wait for the shitstorm.
  24. Act ignorant and blissful in front of attention whores desperately trying to provoke you.
  25. Nuke their ask box
  26. Say John Green is a terrible author
  27. For a less subtle approach, simply begin throwing around racial slurs
  28. Tell them that their precious little blogs are meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and that they should stop wasting their time and commit suicide.

Yahoo buyout

Last Thursday, Tumblr sold out to Yahoo, the bestest Internet corporation ever. David Karp, founder of tumblr, has been paid delicious pork money to let Yahoo keep its grip on what's left of the biggest hive of hipsters to ever exist. Unsurprisingly, the remaining mass of tumblr's "rebellious" userbase of obese 14-year-old scene kiddies and 30-year-old poon hunters reacted before the buyout was even confirmed.


   
 
Tumbr is not just for 1D fans... tumblr is for hipsters, for nerds, for geeks, for the unacceptied, for the weirdos with cool talents, for artists, for musicians, for people who are struggling with things if there life(such as suicide, self harm, eatiting disorders, etc.) to have help from others who have been through these things, for people obsessing over their favorate show or band or whatever, it's for people to connect... tumblr is where people feel accepted... tumblr is were we can go after long days of work or school and hang out with people we wouldnt have known otherwise. tumblr is where we can hid for a few hours and ignore the real world. So yes we don't want yahoo in there... Because tumblr is were we can be us without rules. we don't want your rules or your ads. we want to be us. If you want to appeal to us, don't do it by taking away our place to be ourselves.


Sincerely, A teenager who is better discribed as #$%$ off

 


 
 

—Kaitlyn, showing her fat prepubescent shut-in dyslexic bulldyke mongoloid ass to the entire world.

Then Yahoo tried to destroy it:

   
 
The biggest acquisition of Mayer’s tenure as Yahoo CEO, Tumblr was supposed to revive Yahoo by broadening its audience and bolstering its long declining advertising business. In a Tumblr post announcing the deal (complete with a flashing GIF urging people to “keep calm”), Mayer famously promised “not to screw it up” for users. She tried to make good on that pledge by staying mostly hands off for the first year. By early 2015, however, Tumblr was at risk of being dragged down by Mayer and Yahoo.

That January, Mayer broke the clear barrier between the companies by merging Tumblr’s ad sales team with Yahoo’s and putting them under a new executive who insiders say had little experience with Tumblr and even less rapport with its core employees. Soon after, Tumblr’s ad sales department was on the verge of a mass exodus.
 


 
 

—--http://mashable.com/2016/06/15/how-yahoo-derailed-tumblr/#FgicFtdGukqn


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