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Turkey

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Police.gif Fact Alert
This article violates Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code for insulting "Turkishness" and insulting The Republic of Turkey.
Police.gif OMG The Military has taken over the country! Coup d'etat!
Turks are real Patriots
You may find this average Turkish twitter user in abundance


They got the most important word right.
How the mighty Ottoman Empire was built

Turkey (also known as Turka Durka, Muslim Terrorists, Rabid Rapists of Turkey, Republic of Kebab, Neo-Ottoman Empire and Islamic Republic of Turkey) is Europe's Mexico. Filled with gypsies and ragheads, it is most notable for being hated by basically every country around them. Ironically, Turks are usually regarded as being next to Jews and Arabs, in terms of general filthiness and nearly everyone else in Europe universally looks down on them, especially in Germany. But the Turks tend to hate and are hated back by Arabs, because Turks are not seen as "proper Muslims". Probably because they drink alcoholic libations and don't abuse their women as much, supposedly. Turks also get pissed off if you compare them to Arabs, because they feel that they are "white Europeans", and white people are of-course superior to feelthy sand-niggers.

Despite the fact that Turkey has stolen territory from everyone and slaughtered a bunch of Armenians, Assyrians and Greeks, Turks will constantly bitch and moan when any of this is mentioned during conversations. Seriously, They even made it a law, earning the country title of "Biggest BBAAAWWers" on Earth. People also call it: "Turkey, a country to spit on."

Turks are easy to identify IRL. If you ever see a bunch of Arabs on the street screaming "TURKEY! TURKEY! TUUUURRRRKKEEEYY!!!!", don't worry, they are not retards, just Turks participating in a Muslim ritual protest, usually pissing and whining about some random Armenian crap. FOR ALLLAAAHHH!!!

The Turkish government is currently working on banning getting laid, as if any Turkish guy ever had the opportunity.

An Overview of Turkey

A Turkish Drama Generating Device

It is inhabited by the descendants of the smallest Empire in the history of the world. Turks are the sub-human barbarians whose only contribution to history is fucking kebab. (Fucking sheep was taken already.)

The Turkish national deity is Atatürk. After the horrors of World War I, he destroyed the country even more by banning those stupid little hats called fez and gouging the eyes out of harmless old men. If you say a bad word against Atatürk's memory, you will be shot in both your legs and then assfucked by batshit insane Turkish cops, and taken to prison, where a burly Turk named Faruk will slice off your testicles and feed them to you. But actually Turkey never was really a secular State and today President or better neo-Ottoman Sultan Recep Tayyib Erdogan dismantled the rest of the already eroded fascistic system of government and is trying to build an Islamic State.

The Turkish national pastimes include beating, raping and/or murdering wifes, girlfriends, sisters or other female relatives and also homosexual male relatives because of Honour, beating, raping and forcing their children to marriage, often with those relatives (thats the reason because Turks have a low IQ), mutilating male genitalia, watching child and/or animal porns (the turkish langugage is the second often langugage which used to search for child and animal pornography in the internet), banging slutty Eastern European chicks, sending shitty performers to Eurovision, slaughtering the Kurds, blaming Greeks for everything, sodomizing European drug-dealers in their prisons, and picking off pedestrians with their cars even when the green light CLEARLY says that pedestrians have right of way. They are, however, masters of trolling BAWWWing Kurds and Armenians. Not to mention being Pedophiles to little girls on a daily basis.

It is a proven fact that Turkish people spend 90% of the day on Omegle trying to pick up chicks, and the other 10% of their day making up their language, which is completely indecipherable, even to google. Some Argue that this is because their education system is retarded, while others have suggested that they simply pretend to speak some form of language,but are really just making it up as they go along.

History of the Turks

Modern linguistic and anthropological evidence has shown that the original Turks were actually remnant Homo erectus, specifically Wushan Man, who survived in isolated populations in the Central Asian hills. They lived a happy, peaceful life hunting with sharpened sticks and clubs, living in caves or crude yurt-like huts and wearing the untanned skins of their prey. However, around roughly 800 BC, contact with wandering Indo-Aryan nomads gave Turks the idea to ride horses and use bows. In the next three thousand years that it took them to learn how to sit on a horse and move it forward, the Turks bred like rats until there were enough of them to Zerg Rush the civilized nations of Persia, Anatolia and eastern Europe. And, giving themselves short guttural barbarian names like the 'Huns,' 'Khazars,' and 'Oghuz,' that is exactly what they did.

Then, in order to mask their sub-human origins, they proceeded to rape everything they could lay their paws on, creating the most mongrelized excuse for an ethnic group in existence. The original Turkic people looked like a bunch of filthy Asian bums on horseback who lived in tents. By the time they reached Turkey, after centuries of fucking Arabs and Europeans, they looked like a mix of white people and Arabs, but some today still have that authentic Azn look.

 
 
There are no crueller and more audacious villains under the heavens than the Turks who spare no age or sex and mercilessly cut down young and old alike and pluck unripe fruit from the wombs of mothers
 

 

—Bishop Fabri of Vienna (1536–41), Vienna

Ottoman Empire

Axis-Ottoman-Bella-Glamour.jpg
A Turk in stage 2 form

Eventually, some of the more mongrelized Turks became intelligent enough to declare themselves leader, and uniting all the Turks who had yet to rape themselves out of existence, plus the countries they had zerg'd into submission, under Islam (a religion they stole from the Arabs) they declared themselves to be the Ottoman Empire. Most of the emperors of the ottoman empire are known for being potheads.(lots of hash supplies, dude) They also had harems, which makes a prince start having orgies at the age of 12.

Eventually the Terrans of Europe figured out how to use firearms effectively and counter the Zerg Rush tactics that the prolific steppe-apes had become dependent on. Since the Ottoman Empire had spent all its resources building an army of meatshields, they required more Vespene gas in order to spawn more Overlords and change tactics. So one by one the Balkan nations and Arab tribes, who were sick of stenchy Turks telling them what to do, rebelled and separated. Eventually, all the Turks who were still dumb enough to be considered Turkish had left was Anatolia. Which would have been fine, except the Turks were still idiots who could no function in an ordered society, and therefore poor. So, rather than attempt to educate themselves so they could become richer, the Turks began to purge all the richest elements from society so that they would not look bad in comparison. Hundreds of rich and middle-class people were rounded up and marched into the desert, shut in buildings and burned live, or slaughtered in the street with bayonets. Coincidentally, almost all of these rich people were Armenians, the few exceptions being Greeks or Arab.

Istanbul: Now with Electricity

This left only Kurds and Gypsies as minorities. Even the Kurds, however, decided they were to good for the steppe-monkeys and began to go terrorist on them and get their own country. Gypsies hate Turks too, but because pretending to be a Turk makes it easier to rip them off, they just keep it to themselves.

Kemal Ataturk

Faced by the collapse of their empire after the First World War and the occupation of Constantinople by the British and French, the Turks turned to Mustafa Kemal a.k.a. 'the Big Mus' or simply 'Ataturk'. He reunited the country round that old standby - 'it's all the Greeks fault' and successfully expelled them from the country. Then he encouraged the Allies to leave, taking the old Ottoman extended family with them.

Ataturk wanted to transform the country. A Republic was proclaimed and to make sure no one could argue against this, changed the language and introduced the Latin alphabet. He created new type of nationalism and forced religious and ethnic minorities to become the new accepted nationalist identity. With the Ottoman nostalgia and the jealousy of Stalin's and Hitler's popularity; he created one his extreme Dersim and Zilan massacres which were aimed mostly towards civilian Kurds. Because of his influence and constant bias mentioned about him, many Turks refer him as "grandfather" "great-grandfather" or "wife".

Today, you can see him everywhere in Turkey. You can see pictures of him, his old cup jizz that he used to fap every night to males, and Turkish men pretending to suck his dick and drinking his seamen as if he's still alive. If you say anything negative things he did; you will be seen as being insane or worse, suffer the unexpected Turkish consequences. In 2007, two journalists working for the News Agency, interviewed 94-year-old living eyewitness of the Zilan massacre and published the interview. The pissed off Criminal Court with its rage tried the journalists for "inciting hatred and hostility". In 2009, each of them received a prison sentence of 18 months.

Istanbul

Istanbul is the city which is the actual Kurdistan and the popular place for web 2.0 whoring. You can visit and experience extreme sickfuckery with transgender whores at the back streets of Taksim, or get drunk as fuck in some corner bar crawling with gangbangers and drug pushers. Or you can tell a tobacco crazy taxi driver that you don't have enough money to pay, then he will pull the car to a back street and tell you to give him a blowjob. Another interesting hangout would be the Istiklal street (The street of independence, lol get it?) Full of hot German tourists and classy, respectable individuals.

Venture into the piss ridden back streets crawling with old paedophiles smoking cigarettes or retarded bitch gazers enjoying their glass of tea, if you simply do not give a fuck any more. Take a wrong turn and enjoy being stabbed, mugged and raped by a glue sniffer, in that order if you're lucky. Experience Istanbul's cosmopolitan sickfucketry and mind numbing night life, as the city slowly consumes and mind-numbs you into a hate spewing mess of a person. Don't forget to meet the city's extremely welcoming and helpful people, and enjoy your shisha in a café with barely breathable atmosphere.

Turkish Culture

Patriotic Algae Blooms are a Common Problem in Turkish Waterways

"Turkish culture" is an oxymoron. Everything even slightly 'cultural' in Turkey was stolen from the Greeks and Arabs. Though they are most famous for Turkish Delight.

such trolling makes your website banned in Turkey

Traditions

Cockblocking

  • If you have sex before marriage, you get killed or enforced to kill yourself. Your parents lock you somewhere and give you some rope to hang yourself, they dont give you food or water and possibly beat you up for days until you decide.
  • If you cheat on your husband, he kills you or reports to your family, then they kill you.
  • If you marry a non virgin, you have the right to take the woman back to her dad. Her dad kills the woman for you.
  • If you deflower a female and not marry her, her dad kills you.
  • If you get raped, your parents ask you to kill yourself because of the probability that you were asking for it.

Faggotry

In a word: YES!!!!!

Turksarefags.jpg

  • If you are a faggot, your dad kicks you out of the family. You don't have a family anymore. But go to the big city and there are open anuses everywhere.

Tourism

  • If you are a tourist, all men in the country asks you to have sex constantly assuming all females outside turkey are sluts-whores.

Overkill

  • If someone kills someone from your family, the youngest person in your family has to kill someone from their family and this cycle goes on forever.

Literature

Türk milleti gariptir
Her lafı kaldırmaz
İbne dersin kızar da
Sikersin aldırmaz
-Neyzen Tevfik-

The Turk is strange
He won't bear a slight
Gets angry when you call him a fag
But when fucked won't put up a fight
-Neyzen Tevfik (a Turkish hobo that played ney, famous for consuming enough booze, hash and opium to supply all American Niggers for a century)

Turkish Immigrants

Turks immigrate to North America and Western Europe, because the living conditions in these countries are much better than the living conditions in the ass-cave, overcrowded, ghetto slum which we call Turkey. Emigrant Turks work mostly as fast food traders or greengrocers, but the biggest part of them live on welfare. They have to shave their hairy asses themselves because salons don't take food stamps.

Internet

Turkish law requires ISPs to filter any materials that are critical of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk. Additionally, asking any Turk IRL about these censorship laws is a surefire way to make them feel uncomfortable.

Any site that is about Armenian Genocide or Kurdish Shit will have their guestbook flooded with 6,000,000,000,000 nationalist Turks giving deep and meaningful messages with caps lock before their ISP bans the site.

Also, almost every adult website is banned as well last year, alongside with YouTube. Ya rly.

Foreign Relations

Each and every one of Turkey's neighbors hate them. Bulgaria with the rest of the Balkans hates them because they are Muslims, and because of the assrape they were given by the flaming Turkish hordes in the middle ages, the Arab nations and Iran hate them because they are secular and pro-west. The only people willing to hold any strong relations with Turkey are rich and powerful countries who need cheap lackeys, and only have to deal with smelly Turks at arm's length. That's why NATO tolerates them as a member country.

Realizing that everybody hated them (if a little slow on the uptake) Turkey decided they needed at least one neighbor they could count on, even if they had to make it themselves. So, sometime after WWII, they invaded the northern half of an island country, killed all the Greeks they could find, and declared the northern part "Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus". However, as all the other countries have since realized that it, too, is not a real country, this operation is largely considered fail. So Turkey decided to do this to everyone in revenge. [1] (This is also a daily Turk ritual.) The UN forced Turkey and Greece to create a "buffer zone" on Cyprus, to keep the assholes from shooting at each other randomly.

Armenia

Factcat seal of approval.gif This page relies entirely on facts.
Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings.
Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.


Armenia hates them because they have had to deal with the land-stealing, them attacking Turks and Turks killing 1.000.000.000 (one million) Armenians during world war one. Turkey hates Armenia because Armenia's shitty military humiliated its puppet of Azerbaijan.

Greece + Cyprus

Greeks don't like Turkey because parts of Turkey were Greek settlements for centuries. Many cities in the west still have Greek names today. Turkey tried to grab half of Cyprus in 1970s in a peace mission, which turned into a shitty war. If you wanna piss them off, ask them about Varosha. Turkey and Greece often send their F16's to the Aegean Sea to claim the sea territory which Greece wants to take. Planes chase each other everyday and go back to their bases because none of the fags has the balls to fire their fucking missiles.

Azerbaijan

President of Azerbaijan
Could this user be Jack? WARNING! WARNING!
Azerbaijan is a sockpuppet of Turkey and seems to think that greed is a virtue!
A Turkish man drives a car that was stolen in Western Europe by Albanian smack addicts.

Azerbaijan, like a lot of central Asia, is Turkey's retarded younger half-brother. Essentially the product of a Russian fucking a Turk up the ass, they have the stupidity and aggression of the latter combined with the psychotic paranoia of the former. Azerbaijan distinguishes itself as being the only country to evar get pwned by Armenia, the Azeris have been BAWWWING about this for over 15 years. Azeris essentially believe Turkey is the only country in the world better than their own, that Azerbaijan is the descendant of a silly made-up ancient country called "Caucasian Albania" (despite also claiming to be Turkic) and that Western civilization, which is always trying to steal their goats and women, is under the control of the Armenian Lobby, who are actually Space Aliens that crashed on Mt. Ararat 3 billion years ago. Azeris often pretend to be friends of Turks due to the butthurt coming from kidfight between the Armenians and themselves, needing a big bro to help them when their ass is being kicked territory-obsessed Armenians constantly (see System of a Down lyrics). The Azeris laid claim to lands known as Nagarno-Karabakh and they got their asses handed to them by Armenia. Their army, despite massive technological and training help from the Russian Federation and Israel, can't even beat Armenia's third-class army, but they treat their military as if they have anything to protect other than the vaginas of the cumdumpsters they keep in their homes. North Korea would be proud.

Azeris also have the advantage of owning oil, but somehow this had made them neither richer nor less dirty.

Azerbaijan also hates Turkey because Turkey is so big and the amount of money Turks invest in Azeri oil companies scares the shit out of Azeri people. Azerbaijan does not count as a neighbor because Nakhchivan is not a part of any country as much as a turd that Armenia shat out.

Syria

Turkey does foreign relations

Syria doesnt like Turkey because Turkey is not Muslim enough and not jihadding everytime something is triggered around Syria, thats the reason why Turkey begun to support the most religious muslims in the world ISIS in the Syrian Civil War to show that the Erdogan Regime is more islamic than the Baathist dictatorship of Bashar al-Assad. Turkey doesn't give enough water to Syria because Turkey keeps the water sources. Turkey has the power to kill all Syrians just by keeping the water.

Iraq

Iraq doesnt like Turkey because noone in Turkey is interested in invest in the eastern areas. Kurds group up and kill the people and babiez in the east of turkey, which are also Kurds. Turkey is also interested in adding Moussul and Kurkik into its territories.

Iran

Iran doesn't like Turkey because Turkey is too modern and has better relations with the western world, not jihadding about everything, being jelly constantly, and not buying their oil and spice as much as they want. After Erdogan came to power the relationship became much better. Erdogan is an Antisemite like the shiteater Mullahs who rule Iran.

Israel

Israel hates Turkey because Turks attacked armed Israeli soldiers with knives and wooden sticks, expecting humiliating defeat like in Counter-Strike, but the Jews ended up pwning them with paintballs. Turkish politicians are known for acting very very very angry and serious, without doing anything about anything, in all conflicts with its enemiez.

Erdogan's response to anything that Israel does, because they realize that they are literally more greedy and barbaric than the jews.

Georgia

Georgia hates them because Georgians hate everybody, but Turkey was nice enough to help rebuild their faggot army after it was pwnt by Russia in 2008. The Georgians did not have the economy to repay them, as they mainly survive on loans from the West, but rewarded the Turks by attacking one of their ships trying to break a blockade on a seperatist territory run by Moscow. Israel later copied them.

Germany

A Video lesson about how to treat Turks in Germany

Germany is the main foreign trade partner of Turkey since their alliance with Nazis in World War II. Hitler was an Admirer of Turks, because they murderered over a million armenians, without any juristic consequences. After World War II, half of German males were dead and the guys from the whole world was too busy visiting Germany to satisfy German wimmins. Besides that, Germany needed men to support the manufacturing industry with workers, thus allowing immigrants from different European countries including Turkey, they got millions of illiterate fucktards from Turkey. Since then, most Germans hate turks because it they ruin everything civilized in the place.

Russia

Russia is known for being the manufacturer of the weapons used by Kurds in terrorism. Russia also makes shitloads of money by being the main gas supplier of Turkey. The Russians also help the stupid Turks to build Nuclear power plants.

Kurds

See, Kurdistan
Turkey, like any secular, racist nation, hates whatever minority is predominant, and this being the Kurds, the Turks hate them and want them out of the country. However, Turkey could not allow them to secede, as that would mean yet another country bordering Turkey that hated it. So instead they tried to "assimilate" the Kurds by calling them 'mountain Turks' and pretending black person. Failing at that, the Turks have since leaned back toward their tried-and-trusted tactic of extermination.For now, they occasionally invade and bomb Kurdish territory, but are just waiting for the right time to do it full-scale.

Government and Freedom

The government in Turkey is known for banning fucking everything.

Article 301

According to the Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code, insulting "Turkishness" and insulting The Republic of Turkey gets you into jail for up to two years. You can contribute to it by copying the contributors of this article and sending the list to Turkish police by clicking here.

Youtube Ban

Article 301 on turkish law states that no one can insult Turks and Turkish values, which makes them so vulnerable to trolling, a Greek once in a while made a video about their national leader Ataturk and uploaded to youtube, making some Turks go to court to ban the whole of Youtube instead of removal of single videos. Greeks are also known to send their fishing boats to the Turkish coastline to show them their middle fingers, tell them they are faggots, and run back to the Greek sea zone.

Banning Atheist Websites

The Islamist government of Turkey also bans local websites about atheism to "protect the citizens from going evil". [2][3]

Killing atheist authors

An atheist author, Turan Dursun, who was considered the local Richard Dawkins of Turkey, was killed in 1990. Since Erdogan became president, it has only gotten worse.

Banning pr0n

The ass-fisted Turkish government is known for banning all the fun things on the internet. The court often bans porn websites when they are sued and the owners of the porn sites are expected to defend themselves IRL even though they live in somewhere in a galaxy, far, far away. But a simple change to DNS settings is enough to watch porn (8.8.8.8 - 8.8.4.4). The government also makes many stupid mistakes.

Abortion

The government is also working on banning abortion. As if all the faggotry above wasn't bad enough. Over 9000 women have abortions every year in Turkey and with the new law, Turks will just go back to their best friend; coat hangers.

Tragedy of the Turks

On some Monday in 2010, a earthquake that struck eastern Turkey leveled a bunch of mud huts and tents, killing a lot of nobodies that no one gave a fuck about. The 30.0-megashock was in part engineered by George Lucas's crack teams at Lucasarts and ILM. After seeing that fucked up Turkish Star Wars shit, he felt he had no other recourse then to try to level Turkey. Survivors on site say the earthquake was presented in THX, and was better then any action scene present in the 3D film Avatar. Any earthquake in turkey has a success rate of 1/1.000.000.000 deaths.

Turks

Videos

Enjoy the following as you accompany some Turks on their day-to-day activities.

<center>A typical Turk in his own habitat</center>

<center>How turks may react</center>

<center>Traditional Turkish dancing</center>

<center>Some Turks moving a train</center>

<center>Kurds trying to learn English</center>

<center>Erdogan hidden son</center>

<center>Typical Turkish Dance</center>
<center>Dayam they hate those Kurds</center>

As you can see most Turkish men have some sort of homosexual attraction to each other. Possibly due to the fact that Turkey holds the record for most cases of micropenis in the world and rubbing their male genitals together helps to ease the pain.

A Turk's favorite past-time

Turks are pedophiles. Fact.

An active sex life

  • Apart from spending their time in the kebab shops (their natural habitat) they spend their time on their PC watching turkey pr0n.
  • Because Turkish women are ugly and useless, you can see millions of turkish males on online dating sites, like Indians, they are known for harassing-stalking females all over the internets.

Turks on Web 2.0

An average Turk, seen on chatroulette, amazed by seeing a Vagina.
  • Spamming Facebook groups which are against the existence of Turks.

Gaming

Turkish Hackers

Hacking UR Websites

Rivaled only by the Kosovars in terms of skittishness and complete inability to spell the simplest of words, Turkish hackers break into unpopular, badly protected sites with a 2 year old exploit that they found on milw0rm, deface with a picture of the Turkish flag and insert pointless historical reference to remind people of a graet injustice that happened to the Turks well over 200 years ago, and blame it on the website owner.

Hackin UR Web 2.0

Turks also often group together and change the kurdish translation on facebook to some phrases implying kurdish people are faggots so that the people who choose to view the website in kurdish would get annoyed.

Turkish flashmobs

On July 28, 2010, a group of Turkish pranksters enlisted the help of their fellow message board users to mount a large scale linguistic assault on Facebook, which also resulted in shutdown of translate application for the most languages. The word “Like” for example was substituted for another word that rhymes with Luck but begins with an F. The familiar notification in Facebook chat “Your message could not be sent because the user is offline” became “Your message could not be sent because of your tiny penis”, here's more.

Turks around the world

Turks actually fap to this map, srsly

The Turks have a concept called Turan (sort of like Turkish Nazis or KKK) where they believe that other people are really Turks and they just don't know it yet. A partial list of peoples that the Turks believe to be Turks:

Similar Languages
  • Indians because they passed the bering and have some words Native American words are similar to Turkic language.
  • Kurds Because Kurds can be either Arab, Turk, Armenian
  • Finns Language families
  • Koreans Language Families
  • Japanese Language Families
Because East Europeans Were Asians Who Migrated to Europe
Close Coordinates
  • Armenians Because Turks have had consensual sex with Armenians since the beginning of the history.
Reality
????

How to troll Turks

Posting this anywhere will help you easily discover if there is any Turk in the area.
  1. Mention anything good about Serbia. Anything at all. Bonus points if you play an Accordion and sing REMOVE KEBAB.
  2. Say "Fuck Allah" or "Fuck Hz. Muhammed" (99% success rate!)
  3. Tell him the Turks killed 1.5 million Armos, hundred thousands of assyrians and greeks in 1915 until 1923 and 30,000 Kurds.
  4. Tell him that Turks stole their cuisine from the Greeks.
  5. Tell him that döner sucks.
  6. Tell him that Atatürk was a Jewish or Greek homosexual.
  7. Tell him that Southeastern Turkey will become a new state called Kurdistan.(Guaranteed to create an epic shitstorm by Turks from every political angle. After saying it, run like hell. Or you might get killed.)
  8. Tell him that Constantinople, the Black Sea Region, and all of Cyprus belongs to Greece.
  9. Tell them that Northeastern Turkey belongs to Armenia
  10. Say anything positive about Greece at all.
  11. Tell him that when fighting Kurds, the Turkish Army violates human rights worse than North Korea or Egypt.
  12. Tell him that they are Europe's Niggers.
  13. Ask him if they have fez and camels in their country and pray to Allah.
  14. Tell him that Midnight Express was a fantastic movie that brings to light problems in the Turkish justice and penal system.
  15. Tell him that your girlfriend went to Turkey one summer and got grossed out by all ogling, horny men and told this to her friends so that no white girl will ever come to Turkey again.
  16. Tell him that you're sick of his lazy relatives taking all the jobs in Frankfurt a.M.
  17. Tell him he's a thief and that his people should go back to fucking Central Asia.
  18. Tell him his country is very friendly towards Israel.
  19. Tell him Turkey is a second rate spear-carrier for the Great Satan.
  20. Tell him that Turkey will never be considered seriously for EU membership, no matter what they do, as Turkey is in Asia anyway, not Europe.
  21. Ask him how much he spent this month on gold chains and cologne.
  22. Refer to all the times Greece defeated them.
  23. Compare Turkish to Esperanto; make fun of its made-up Romanized alphabet.
  24. Tell him that Cenk Uygur is the greatest Turk who ever lived.
  25. Ask him what Reno and Rude have been up to lately.
  26. Ask him repeatedly if you can buy some hash.
  27. Tell him Turkey's national dog breed, the kangal (a very big dog which the Turks claim can kill a wolf, hyena or leopard single-handed,also cute as puppies), is in fact a Kurdish mongrel that stands no chance in a fight against an Armenian Gampr.
  28. Tell him their latest song in the Eurovision song contest sucked LOL! THEY WILL NO LONGER ATTEND TO EUROVISION BECAUSE CONCHITA WURST WON FOR THE SOLE REASON SHE HE IT WAS A FILTHY FUCKING FAGGOT.
  29. Tell a Turkish girl she's "Kezban" and call her with that name everywhere.
  30. Ask them why they are unemployed.
  31. Refer to them as Arabs and Turkey as Middle East.
  32. Tell him that Atatürk was gay, this is guaranteed to make them butthurt and can even result in rage.
  33. Tell him that Kurds are better.
  34. Tell them that Turkey has only one 4/3 Nobel prize winners; Orhan Pamuk who writes shitty novels, doesnt deny the armenian genocide and the massacres against kurds, and Aziz Sancar who found useless gibberish about DNA repair and got 1/3 of the prize.
  35. Quote Aziz Nesin, a Survivor of the Massacre of Sivas, Writer and Atheist, who said that Turks are to stupid or to cowardly for Democracy
  36. Speak derogatory about turkish girls and women, especially in the presence of religious Muslim Turks
  37. Tell them that the word Turk is an insult in many languages and that it was an insult for the Elite in The Ottoman Empire to be called as Turks.
  38. Mention the War Crimes of their Military during the Invasion and Occupation of Northern Cyprus, especially the Use of Naplam and the expulsion of the Greek Cyperiots.
  39. Tell them that Troja was discovered by a German.
  40. Tell them that Turks were a long time Military Slaves of Arabs and Persians.
  41. Tell them that the ancestors of the Turks of today came form Central Asia and that they were orginally primitive cattle breedings nomads, who were totally unrelated with ancient highly developed peoples like Sumerians, Hittites and Etruscans.
  42. Refer them as cockroaches.

The Turkish Language

I kiss you

Turkish is the babble-like language which was the only thing the Turks actually invented, and is the official language of Turkey. The actual Turkish language is like 20 short words, because until they met other tribes, they didn't have any cultural development. Some examples are am=pussy, piç=bastard, göt=ass, sik=cock=fucking etc. The original nouns are mostly about sex and food, which is a sign of how primitive the culture is. The shortest forms of verbs are given orders because people used to order each other around all the time in their barbarian history. Anyone who speaks it is retarded, because to speak it, you either have to be a dumb Turk, or you have actually believe that you can have a legible conversation with a Turk. Today, Turks don't even bother translating anything to Turkish because there's no demand for any quality "literature", technology or anything else by Turkish speakers. Nobody understood Turkish people until they started using Arabic script. What is even funnier, the current Turkish language is a rip-off of a Romanized alphabet and pieces of all middle eastern languages, Persian, Arabic, plus some bastardized American English.

Want proof? Here's a small sample of faggotic Turkish, as used on the Internet every day:

  • f0ck ur mom
  • f0ck u sisste
  • 10k plz
  • g0ld plz
  • PARTII PLIS
  • lwl kaç
  • nooop
  • resss plis
  • lol herif sus lollolololl
  • U stopit
  • slm agalar
  • aga gold
  • aga a.q
  • fuck jew
  • ALLAH
  • ım from türkiş (pronounced like "umhamhhum tuhmhm")
  • fuck israil
  • fuck amerika
  • I kiss you
  • COK

Vlad Dracula's guide to making Authentic Turkish Döner Kebab

Vlad the Impaler learned so much from Turkish cuisine. So, he applied it to the art of dealing with Turks:

  1. Find a Turk (or the nearest Muslim)
  2. Force feed them onions, garlic and other strong spices
  3. Impale them vertically in the ass for shits and giggles
  4. Wait 4 days for them to marinade
  5. When they're about to die, roast them
  6. ???
  7. DÖNER KEBAB! Shave cooked outer layers, put garlic sauce and veggies, wrap in pita bread, and sell to the nearest German.
  8. ???
  9. PROFIT!

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