Tyler Dumstorf

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This page contains an hero.
FUCK THA POLICE!
True love has been found.
With retard friends like these, no wonder he killed a guy.
An hero's friends revealing the gay.
I love t3h mary gee wanna!!!11!
He did.
Tyler had lots of shooting experience.
SPOILER ALERT!
How cop killers perfect mad skills.
Brave Little Tyler
   
 
I just killed two cops. Goodbye.
 

 
 

—Tyler Dumstorf

On June 19th 2007, an hero was born. His name was Tyler Dumstorf, a Floyd Central High School honors student and convicted pot head who liked mind-blowingly shitty music. He was arguing with his mom about the highlighter in his ass and after several hours, she called the police to give him a nice talking to. Frightened by the possibility of having all his weed taken away and smoked by a bunch of niggers in the police department, Tyler loaded his dad's long and sturdy M1 Garand whilst distracting the visitors with donuts and handjobs. He then shot both cops in the back, because he was an Sniper: One was totally pwned, the other seriously wounded. Tyler then logged onto MySpace, posted, "I just killed two cops. Goodbye." and became An hero of epic proportions. On his MySpace people are too retarded to realize dead people can't see the messages they leave. On a lulzy note, Tyler has received moar comments dead than alive.

4chan was immediately informed and his MySpace was posted, with predictable results.

'Tis a loser[edit]

Tyler's MySpace adds lulz to the equation for many reasons:

1. His last comment before he pwned two po-pos was "you faggit stoner", left by some AZN.

2. His profile is absent of any comment of a female.

3. He has 1 friend of the female, and she may really be Hitler.

4. He's aggressive.

POT?!?![edit]

In the aftermath of such stupidity, it is clear that these events never had to transpire if this terrorist/hippie/dipshit had been properly punished for smoking marijuana, by giving him hookers and blow instead.

Prevention[edit]

Stupid hicks often become violent and erratic when police are involved. That's because every person who has upstanding morals is also related to a police officer, soldier, or firefighter and therefore must prove how large their man-handle truly is.

What have we learned?

Killing police officers in a pot induced rage is what's in. All the cool kids are doing it. This is exploitable because the police are only trained in distributing violent beatings to innocent citizens, rather than serving the greater good, or thinking. If confronted, these people often hide behind the bible, Bill Hicks, patriotism, and circular logic. Because the police are fucking heroes and only evil terrorists hate the police. Now c'mon, y'all! Let's go lynch us some queers!

MySpace[edit]

In addition, a "memorial MySpace" was created by a 4chan user who sent friend requests to Tyler's IRL friends, adding to the lulz. It used to be here. But the man at MySpace removed it because it created far too much lulz.

Upon receiving a friend request, one of Tyler's friends replied with this:

   
 
"dude go fuck yourself.

you arnt funny and your not making anyone feel better either. your a jackass. go to hell nobody likes you.

especially b/c you make stupid shuit like this. we all make mistakes, tylers was just a big and worse one. this one is your mistake and everyone can tell

and your a dumbass if you think ill accept you"
 


 
 

—Tyler's friend on friendship.

   
 
we all make mistakes, tylers was just a big and worse one.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
we all are mistakes, tyler was just a big and worse one.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
you lived free and you surely died free but all your friends still love you and we can't change what happened but we wish we could but what happened is done in over but me and eli have helped to try and prove your not a monster at least you in a better place man. with all love and respect, Joe.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
"Ich liebe dick."
 

 
 

—Tyler's best 'friend'

A collection of subject related, though totally fucking lame jokes[edit]

  • How many people did Tyler's father kill?

-1, he shot (and killed) the Sheriff but he did not kill the Deputy.

  • What ammunition was Tyler using (it penetrated bulletproof vests)

-M1 Garands are chambered in .30-06 Springfield, and any loading in that caliber (and pretty much any rifle caliber) can penetrate soft body armor with ease.

-For the lulz.

-Obviously not since both men were shot

  • Was he a NWA fan?

-He more then likely enjoyed the musical stylings of both NWA and Eazy E which he enjoyed in his many hours smoking Weed and FUCK DA POLICE!!!!!

-It is known that he began playing GoW with a fellow classmate fairly close to his death, possible link?

See Also:[edit]

External Links:[edit]

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Tyler Dumstorf
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Failures

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Featured article July 2, 2007
Preceded by
Dustin Diamond
Tyler Dumstorf Succeeded by
4th of July