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Don't Taze Me Bro
On September 17, 2007, Andrew Meyer, a Dane Cook ripoff and IRL Troll, decided to take a stand and fight for the civil liberties of the little man. At the tail end of a visit from John Kerry to the University of Florida, Meyer exposed the Senator as a member of the Illuminati by highlighting collusion between Kerry and Bush during the rigged 2004 election and their brotherhood in the mighty Order of Skull and Bones. He even managed to black person a book several times.
Later, when asked a reason for the tasing, the officer simply replied, "I did it for the lulz."
Details of the event
Towards the end of a question-and-answer session at the forum with John Kerry, Meyer bum-rushed an open mic and thanked Kerry for coming out to speak to the audience. He then asked the former democratic presidential candidate why he decided to concede the 2004 presidential election to Bush, even though everybody knows he won by at least 5 million votes. Not one to sit around and wait for an answer, he proceeded to demand a reason for Kerry's unwillingness to impeach Bush as a means to prevent an imminent attack on Iran. In the climactic final seconds on the soapbox, Meyer squeezed in a question (an accusation, really) that Bush and Kerry were bosom buddies from Skull & Bones and that the Illuminati is behind all the important things that go on in the world.
At that moment, a g-man motioned to cut the mic, and a pair of campus police officers began to escort Meyer away. Sensing that his precious civil liberties were in danger, the student began evasive maneuvers while running his mouth, cycling through "What'd I do!?!", "Get the fuck off of me", "I didn't do anything!".
He ended his struggle by screaming out what is now the hottest new 4chan meme, "Don't taze me, bro!", which roughly translates to "I am so asking for it" in pol337ce speak. This will go down in history as proof that student protest is serious fucking business.
During the 2008th Commencement of Umass Lowell, the 31st of May, Sen. John F. Kerry was asked to speak. Prior to delivering his speech, someone in the crowd shouted, "DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!" to which he responded, "Great. JFK is remembered by, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.' Franklin Delano Roosevelt is remembered by saying, 'The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.' And I'm going to be remembered by, 'Don't taze me, bro.' Thanks."
Meyer: "I first and foremost want to thank you for your time. You spent a lot of time talking to us today. I want to thank you for coming and being open and honest. Uh, you recommended a book to us earlier. I wanted to recommend a book to you. It's called Armed Madhouse by Greg Palas..."
Kerry: "I have that book..."
Meyer: "Yeah, and he's the top investigative journalist in america..."
Kerry: "... I've already read it..."
Meyer: "... and he said you won the 2004 election!"
Kerry: "... correct ..."
Meyer: "And isn't that amazing? Isn't that amazing? You won in 2004! In fact, there were multiple reports on the day of the election of disenfranchisement of black voters in Florida and Ohio."
Kerry: "So what's the question... What's the question?"
>> 30 seconds in, security goons start to handle Meyer <<
Meyer: "I'm going to ask my question. I'm going to preface it. He's been talking for two hours. I think I can have two minutes. See? Thank you. Thank you very much."
>> talking under him... <<
Kerry: "Do you want to come up here?"
Meyer: "I'm going to inform people. Then I'm going to ask him my question. So there are multiple reports of disenfranchisement of black voters on the day of the election 2004. There's also voting machines, electronic voting machines in Volusia County, Florida that counted backwards. So amidst all these reports of phony, bogus stuff going on, how could you concede the election on the day? How can you concede the 2004 election on the day? In this book it says there were 5 million votes that were suppressed and that you won the election. Didn't you want to be president?"
>> a few people urge Meyer to shut up <<
Meyer: "I'm not even done yet. I've two more questions. If you're so against Iran, how come you're not saying impeach Bush now? Impeach Bush before he can invade Iran. Why don't we impeach him? Impeach Bush. Clinton. Clinton was impeached for what? A blowjob? Why don't we impeach Bush, awright? Also, are you a member, were you a member of Skull & Bones in college with Bush? Were you in the same secret society as Bush..."
>> g-man cuts off the microphone <<
Meyer: "Were you in Skull & Bones? Thank you for cutting off my mic. Thank you."
Kerry: "That's alright. Let me answer his question.
>> Meyer is being dragged away... <<
Meyer: "Are you going to arrest me? Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! What are you arresting me for?"
>> ... pulling arm away from guard ... <<
Meyer: "WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. IS ANYBODY WATCHING THIS? I'm not doing anything!! I want to..."
>> ... breaks free ... <<
Meyer: "Get off of me! Get off of me! What the fuck are you doing?!?! Get off of me! What are you doing? What are you doing? What is going on here? What is going on here? I want to stand and listen to him answer my question! Why are you arresting me for asking a quest... Won't anyone stand up for those about[sic] to witness? Why are you arresting me..."
>> ... guard picks him up and carries him out ... <<
Meyer: "HELP! HELP! HELP! ARE YOU KIDDING? THEY'RE ARRESTING ME! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? Get away from me, man! Get away from me! GET OFF OF ME! WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO!?!? HELP! HELP!
Cop: "PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK! OR YOU WILL BE TASED!"
Meyer: "GET OFF ME!!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! ... HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP!
Copwoman: "Stop resisting or you WILL BE TASED!"
Meyer: "... If you let me go, I'll walk out of here..."
Cop: "YOU DON'T HAVE AN OPTION"
Copwoman: "DO IT NOW! DO IT NOW!"
Meyer: "Why are they arresting me? Can someone do something here? I'm being arrested. What did I do!?! GET OFF ME! ... Get the fuck of me, man! I didn't do anything! ... Don't tase me, bro! Don't tase me! I didn't do anything!"
Token Shorty: "NO! NO! STOP!"
Cop: "Get back now!"
Token Shorty: "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT!?!? WHY?!?!"
Meyer: "Owwww... Ow... Let me go... What did I do? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO?"
|don't even taze me, bro|
|are you in skull and bones, bro?|
Replies and Reaction
RE: ARE YOU IN SKULL AND BONES!!!!!!!! ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!
|o'reily confronts skull and bones|
Andrew Meyer vs. MC Hammer. DON'T TASE ME, BRO!
|ARE YOU IN SKULL AND BONES!|
Inspired by their colleagues in Florida, the Mounties decided to do the UF security one better by tazing a dumb Polack to death. The man in question, Robert Dziekanski, had just flown to Vancouver in order to live with his mother. His mother, being completely retarded told her son to meet her by the baggage carousel, despite the fact that on international flights, passengers pick up their bags before being cleared by customs. Being equally dumb and Polish, her son, who spoke no English, did not do the sensible thing by actually going through customs. Instead he stuck by the baggage carousel like it was a large rotating metallic version of his mother's tit and started throwing computers around. Insulted by this attack on their internets and being dumb enough to think that he was speaking Russian, the Mounties decided to welcome Dziekanski to their country by tazing the fuck out of him and crushing his windpipe, as seen here.
A low IQ Utah traffic cop with a well founded inferiority complex lost control of a speeding ticket situation when a clean-cut alleged speeder (sitting in the car with his son and pregnant wife) asked how fast they were going. The officer answered the man's question, however when the driver refused to sign the ticket, and refused to comply with the officer after an arrestable offense, the traffic cop responded by "getting his tazer off" and ass reaming the driver with 50,000 volts (which was captured on cop-car-cam). The traffic cop then lied about what happened to another officer who arrived on the scene (which is standard procedure in Utah).
- The AP Report in The Miami Herald
- An amateur video of the incident from YouTube
- Reaction Daily Kos
- Discussion on Slash(nerd)dot
- Coverage for your torso and your dog.
- 4chanarchive of meme offshoots
|Featured article September 20, 2007|
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