Vampire Knight

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The Emo Kid, Bella Swan, and Mr. Edgyasfuck. These three are the only three characters anyone gives a fuck about.

Vampire Knight is a Shojo manga made by some Azn named Matsuri Hino. It's an anime version of Twilight, but without the sparkly faggot vampires and shirtless werewolves. It includes edginess, suicidal emo vampires, incest, and batshit insane girls who get jealous of the female protagonist because she's always around all the gay vampires that they adore (and fap to every night). Yuki cannot make up her mind on whose dick will be in her mouth throughout the story, Kaname just wants to fuck Yuki, and Zero wants to be an hero but Yuki won't let him because she LOVES HIM!!11. This shit goes on through all 19 volumes, set aside the fap sessions between the normal vampires and purebloods.

The manga had an anime adaption, but it was full of FAIL because the animators got cancer from all the faggotry seeping from Hino's fanfiction after making season 2 and died.

TL;DR as made by Wikipedia[edit]

The gang is all here.

Yuki's earliest memory is of a stormy night in winter, where she was attacked by a rogue vampire and rescued by Kaname Kuran, a Pureblood vampire. Now ten years later, Yuki Cross, the adopted daughter of the headmaster of Cross Academy, Kaien Cross, has grown up and become a guardian of the vampire race, protecting her childhood crush, Kaname, from discovery as he leads a group of vampires at the elite boarding school. At her side is Zero Kiryu, a childhood friend whose hatred for the creatures that destroyed everything he held dear leaves him determined never to trust them. This coexisting arrangement seems all well and good, but have the vampires truly renounced their murderous ways, or is there a darker truth behind their actions? Because in this world of secrets, nothing is as it seems. And the price of misplaced trust may even be worse than death. Should Yuki truly find out what was in her past, is the truth going to hurt her worse than not knowing?

WTF is a Pureblood?[edit]

The basic levels of a Vampire in VK.

If you're a normal person who has a life and totally not a weeaboo, then it's great to know you don't understand some of the terms expressed in Vampire Knight. However, if you're a retard, then below is a handy guide to help your slow, processing brain.

  • Pure Blood - The gods of vampire society. They're OP as fuck and take shit from nobody. Not even you.
  • Day Class - A group of nerdy, dirty humans that consist of more girls than guys. Go to school during the day while the vampires fuck each other sleep.
  • Night Class - The group of vampires who go to school at night. The Day Class goes berserk whenever they come out of their dormitory at sunset and try to touch them with their jizz covered hands. It's confirmed that all of the vampires here are gay for Kaname, even though he makes it clear he wants to fuck his sister.
  • Blood Tablets - Similar to tofu that vegetarians eat, the Night Class takes these so they don't end up murdering the whole Day Class just for some blood.
  • Bloody Rose Gun - Given to Zero from the Headmaster. Has special bullets that K.O's a vampire. The dipshit mostly tries to kill himself with it though.
  • Level ''E'' Vampire - Known as the end level. Humans who get bitten by vampires apparently turn into one and go batshit insane, eventually becoming an hero.

Characters[edit]

Yuki (Cross) Kuran - The main character of the series whose apart of the ''Disciplinary Committee'', and is in love with both a sadist vampire and a faggoty emo kid who just wants to die already. She can't come to a conclusion of who should stick their dick in her baby maker, so she ends up fucking them both throughout the series. She doesn't get back her repressed memories until volume 8, and instantly becomes a Mary Sue when she figures out that she's part of the superior vampire race, the Purebloods. Ends up popping out both Kaname and Zero's hellspawns after having a three way with the two men one night and ends up dying.

Yuki Cross VK.jpg

Kaname Kuran - The male protagonist and Yuki's brother. The ruler of the Purebloods and overpowered as hell. Obsesses over his sister Yuki and wants to fuck her brains out, but gets pissy because Zero is in the way all the time. He gives the middle finger to the Day Class' pimply females and watches as they all gang up on Yuki because she was close to their husbando. Ends up sticking it in his sister's nasty vagoo and becomes human, forgetting all former memories as a vampire.

Kaname Kuran VK.jpg

Zero Kiryu - The 2nd male protagonist and biggest whiny crybaby ever. Hates all the vampires because one apparently pwned his family and kidnapped his twin brother. Contemplates life all the time and had almost pulled an Eric Harris on the Night Class before Yuki came in and told him to STFU. He guilt trips Yuki a lot and shit talks about Kaname. Ends up donating sperm to Yuki's uterus and dies at the end with her.

Zero Kiryu VK.jpg

Shizuka Hio - The cunt that killed Zero's family and kidnapped his brother. Doesn't give a shit for people and treat's Zero's twin as her little plaything, all the while wanting to kill Yuki and have Kaname all to herself. Tries to take over some loli's body, gets busted, and Kaname B&s her for trying to kill his sister. She's just as crazy as the Day Class girls.

Ichiru Kiryu - Zero's twin brother. Was kidnapped by Shizuka after she killed his family. Has this undying hatred for his brother and clings hard to Shizu's leg.

Rido Kuran - Kaname and Yuki's insane uncle. Saw that Yuki looked like her mother and instantly wanted to fuck her, so he caused chaos all over the academy and ended up failing in the end.

  • There's also other characters, but nobody really gives a fuck about them.

The Fandom[edit]

Think of all the cum stains that you can't see on this sheet without a blacklight.

As for any anime/manga that has SUPER HAWT DESU KAWAII BOYS ^_^, there will be a fandom made up of land whales and unattractive 16 year-old girls who will go nuts for said fictional characters and spread their disease all over their deviantART or Livejournal. Vampire Knight is not exempt from this, as it's own fandom manages to shit out fan-art and unfunny memes. Of course, Matsuri also caters to this fandom, which just makes the cancer even stronger.

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Anime Adaptation[edit]

If the cancer wasn't bad enough with the manga, a couple of Japs convinced Hino to let them make an anime version of her horrible fanfiction. Needless to say, it only lasted two seasons before the whole studio said FUCK THIS and discontinued the anime.

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Both openings are gay and if you enjoyed either you need to rethink your life choices.

See Also[edit]

Even niggers see Yuki as a dumb cunt.


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