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A vanity page or vanity article is a page in which a complete nobody writes an article about himself, with the high hope of successfully promoting himself, or advertising his shitty website all over ED. Since they are complete nobodies, nobody in their right mind would even think about writing an article about these faggots, and often times, they end up writing it themselves. Vanity pages on ED last no longer than a couple minutes before being brutally ræped by an ED Sysop, with the author of said vanity article being infinitely banned. What these failures at life constantly fail to realize is that nobody gives a single fuck about their worthless existence, and therefore ED has no reason to have an article about them.
Vanity whores come in three types:
- The Advertiser: Tries to get advertising to Encyclopedia Dramatica without paying. These users are spotted instantly and swiftly crushed under the banhammer.
- The Self-deprecator: This sub-breed tries to write their own article on how stupid and unfunny they are before the EDiots find and start spamming the shit out of them. Their article are soon deleted and their userpage splattered with 1man1jar.
On rare occasions however their articles are good enough to keep. Some people throw themselves into the deep end and think this will instantly make them into internet celebrities. Unable to handle the sudden influx of trolls, their plan backfires and they quickly delete fucking everything.
- The Internet Celebrity: The worst breed of all - these people have no sense of shame whatsoever cannot tell the difference between being famous (where people recognise and seek them out to congratulate them) and being infamous (where people recognise and seek them out to tear out their intestines). These users thrive on this attention and simply refuse to set themselves on fire as everybody wishes they would. Such users are more likely to be fundies and think having an ED article automatically makes them edgy and misunderstood.
The Evolution of the Vanity Page
Not all attention whores complete all three stages. Some will slink off after stage two, others will skip straight to stage three.
Attention whores react to their page in three broad stages:
- Outrage: Threats of legal action and e-lawyers come spam up the talkpages of all the major sysops. The subject will then upload video on how they are going to sue Encyclopedia Dramatica and fill up their deviantart account with hate art.
- "HAHA DISREGARD THAT I LIEK IT REALLY": In complete contrast to the above the subject will then claim to have a sense of humour and find their article really funny. Attempts to have their page deleted will slowly grind to a halt and they will posts the link to their article on every available site.
- SSP: The experienced attention whore will then upload embarrassing and personal information about themselves under the delusion that their ED article is now their LiveJournal.
You may have noticed that several ED sysops (and ex-sysops) have their own vanity page. Unlike other users however, they have perfectly valid reasons for creating their articles. Like all ED articles their pages are dedicated to showing how pitifully pathetic the life of the average internet user is, thus proving even ED veterans cannot avoid being laughed at, with no exceptions.
Since the creation of ED Forums, vanity pages created by and dedicated to ED users has been on the rise. Oddly enough, ED users who laugh at sad, deluded lolcows being harassed by trolls (some worse than others) think creating a page about themselves is an excellent idea.
- Attention Whore
- Attack Article
- Internet celebrity
- Writing yourself into an article
- Trolls trolling trolls
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET
Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance