|News flash! Major chimpouts in progress, possibility of civil war likely, stay tuned for further developments!|
Venezuela is a depressing Soviet outpost in South America ruled by the mentally handicapped, Socialist dictator Nicolás Maduro✡. Spain and Colombia used to own the land deed, but they sold everything to Fidel Castro in a controversial trade of an equal amount of Venezuelan oil and honnies to Cuba's world-renowned cigars and moronic gubernatorial ideas. (Remember what happened to El Che?)
Venezuela, like most of the third world countries, is populated mostly by niggers, thieves, abbos, Mexicans, communists, butthurt Brazilians, bandits, more niggers, some white groups who rule the country in collaboration with Chavez, and moar niggers. 85% are retarded cunts, while the rest are people who don't give a fuck about its government. The country is known for having some of the most ignorant assholes on Earth (they voted for a gorilla as the president) and for being one of the world's largest IRL deathmatch grounds.
A sleek, blonder minority makes up 100% of Miss Venezuelas.
As many other third world countries, Venezuela is known for having an army big and strong enough to pwn Colombia, but not quite large enough to defaggotize Brazil without getting raped; also powerful enough to self-pwn itself because that's the way Third World countries show their military superiority to the world: bombing the shit out of their own cities. Venezuela is continuously modernizing it through their in-bed relationship with Russia and China. Nicolás Maduro thinks he has the best weaponry in the region (he doesn't know that Russia just sold him crap WW2 surplus), and will never hesitate to threaten his arch-enemy; Colombia.
- Calling The Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, a fucking Nazi
- Heartily trolling the Colombian Emperor
- Telling the Israeli ambassador to GTFO
Venezuelan politicians are also famous for being very efficient in sucking Maduro's cock and stealing from from its increasingly poor population. They are also noteworthy for being stupid enough to approve an anti-videogames law to "stop" the daily shootings between the local drug dealing groups.
However, in 2013, Chavez finally kicked the bucket and was glibly dispatched to be buttfucked by Satan in Hell for eternity for being a bitch ass communist faggot. Unfortunately, he was replaced by an even more incompetent moron - Nicolas Maduro. This crotch dropping failure managed to run once prosperous Venezuelan country into the ground with his ill conceived soviet style economic policies. If that weren't enough, he was previously a bus driver, has no high school diploma, dances to salsa while ~20.000 Venezuelans die for various reasons yearly, and to top it all of believes that Jesus multiplied penises, what a guy.
Naturally this all went merrily til about 2017, when the people of Venezuela finally had enough of Maduro's bullshit. Thus began a series of protests which before long escalated to people getting shot by snipers, trampled in mass stampedes and anti-government protesters hijacking a police helicopter and dropping grenades on building roofs. Meanwhile, the glorious leader Maduro decided the best course of action would be to organize a referendum on whether or not to give him even more power, as surely then he would be able to fix everything. As of now, Venezuela is teetering on the brink of civil war, and there are reports of CIA/USA riling up the whole thing as per time-honoured tradition of destabilizing latin american countries and installing far-right dictatorships. It remains to be seen how this situation will unfold, stay tuned folks!
Venezuela is known for having extremely beautiful women and very stupid men. Very often, Venezuelan men are unable to attract the beautiful Venezuelan women leaving the latter to flee the country in search of higher-quality shlong.
The only good man born in Venezuela was Simón Bolivar, but nobody usually remembers him and now Maduro is shitting on his grave every fucking time he opens his mouth. They've also got a cunt who thinks he's Maddox. His name is Angel David Revilla, but he likes to call himself Dross. He used to be cool, but now he's a Nerdish videogamer faggot who plays old video games and curses the fucking screen like most of the basement dwellers when getting pwned on xbawks.
97,9% of men in Venezuela are described as olid, alcoholic fagtards with no future who bitch about their country's economy.
|Featured article March 6 & 7, 2013|
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