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Virgin

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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OL

Untouched and pure, as in "virgin snow." Virgins are new to an IRC channel or a given community. When virgins innocently violate unspoken rules of netiquette, those experienced with the internets flame them into a smoking pile of greasy ashes, much like the NRA encountering Bambi. Because of their boorish behavior, virgins can appear to be trolls. However, trolls are consciously obnoxious for the lulz while virgins have no idea they are idiots. Savvy trolls will often create a sock puppet who pretends to be a virgin.

Sexual Virginity

According to a survey of 13-year-old boys, girls fall into three categories: virgins, sluts, and mothers. According to a survey of 16-year-old girls, females remain virgin as long as they only fuck Jesus and/or only take it in the ass. History demonstrates that most all girls are not virgins (unless they're under 10, you pedo). Much to their regret, most 13-year-old boys are because they have small penises and noone wants them. (And most 13-year-old boys don't like being victim to pederasty, no matter how handsome Noone is.) See also: Technical virgin. Usually virgins' pussies smell great.

Virgins Who Want To Stay That Way

A surefire way to keep the opposite sex off the tip of your dick.
121 reasons why he will always, always be a virgin. And no, getting sodomized by the scoutmaster doesn't count.

Oddly, some virgins wish to continue their useless state of frustrated abstinence.

  • Modest Girls
    • Sample Entry: "I love Jesus. He's my lover and lives inside of my temple...so I don't need to show it off." (Note: An excellent source of what.)
  • Iron Hymen
    • You don't have to be a slut! Instead, you can live a bone-dry life that is bereft of disgusting penis snot that will try to cry its way up your uterus. Yes, you too can be a virgin for the rest of your life!
  • Platonic Love
    • Sample Entry: "Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline. 'Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymoar,' he says. 'We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.'
  • Everyone on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
    • I suck cocks.
  • Anne Coulter
  • thepeaguy!!!
  • Consecrated Virgins
  • WheatThins
  • Asexuals
  • Equivamp


   
 

<WheatThins> debating what kind of condom to buy for first time
 


 
 

#ed

Want To Be More Virginal

even if you've been dating for 5 years, sex before marriage is a sin and will send you straight in satan's anus

Fucking for Virginity Page was baleeted.

Chris-chan claims to be a virgin with rage, but when Clyde Cash sent prostitutes to his house, Chris refused them because he wants romance. [1]

What We Know

Not much is known about virgins because those who are virgins typically claim that they are really sex fiends. Scientists speculate that most virgins are actually recluses who have small penises. Female virgins often complain about it on their blog.

Useful Advice For Virgins

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Gallery Of Virgins

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

PermaVirgin

Typical aspie virgin.


Another lazy dying alone autistic virgin.

A man's penis after having no sex for 5 years.
This is what happens to male virgins.
Typical virgin penis.

PermaVirgin is an incurable affliction caused by the horrible virus known as "Nice Guy Syndrome". These boys are caught in a downward spiral that keeps them virgins forever, no matter how hard they try or how desperate they get. Part of this downward spiral is them doing exactly what women tell them they want, being a yes man, and buying gifts for her, which, unless they're a dominatrix, triggers the woman's "Don't Fuck" instinct (any real man knows that the key to getting laid is doing the exact opposite of what a woman says she wants, being an asshole to them). PermaVirgin is also known and best described as the Friend Zone. It can also be, and is more commonly caused by internets disease.

Famous Virgins

Famous non-virgins

See Also

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Virgin is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

Virgin is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand
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Virgin is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam Atchison

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarAnthony ToneyApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxAriana GrandeArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868DoopieDoOverDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGangster BluGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rilliniguy34Imma-The-DeerInkBunnyJames HolmesJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogan BrayLogan SwanLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackMajira StrawberryManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMatrooko11MaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMichael The GoAnimate GuyMike SandymindoutofsyncMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPikapikagirlPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperReece KendrickRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam HydeSam PepperSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsScourge ForwardSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSolidMarioSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpongeBobAndTheLoudHouseFanatic2012StormySuper Planet DolanSuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrent MorrisonTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!Winona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismIndie musicInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUnchartedUndertaleVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube