WOLFABOO: The Movie
Wolfaboo: The Movie (less commonly known as Alpha and Omega, Balto Reloaded, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron II: The Electric Boogaloo, The Fox and the Hound 3: The Next Generation, and The Lion King IV: The Wolf Couple) is a little-known and under-appreciated movie written
for by pre-teen wolfaboos who found Jacob from the Twilight saga sexy but not quite hairy enough.
The primary fans however were the furry community, who collectively shit their diapers when they heard that a movie about anthropomorphic wolves was sweeping across movie theaters. As per expected, furfags raved over the movie regardless of its horrifically poor quality, most likely because they were too busy masturbating to the characters to notice that the movie is really just a waste of precious IRL money.
After Snakes on a Plane proved Internet people are the best at judging movies of great quality, the creators of Alpha and Omega decided to follow suit and give the fans what they wanted, cleverly holding Indians hostage at gunpoint in order to mimic their style and great knowledge. In the true style of all DeviantArt furries all the wolves are shown in amazing techicolor and with anime hairstyles.
The plot (or lack thereof) to Alpha and Omega is unoriginality at its finest. The writers seem to have stolen the concept of children's movie Homeward Bound and added a love story so that furries and wolfaboos could insert their own fursonas in place of one of the leads. The plot is so shamelessly generic and hastily thrown together that it is blatantly obvious that the movie is nothing but a fetish flick for wolf lovers.
The two main characters are Kate, the adventurous and beautiful Simpsons-yellow leader of the pack; and Humphrey, the wise-cracking Avatar-blue underdog. Sadly, just like Romeo and Juliet, their love cannot be as she is an Alpha and he is an Omega (a terminology which, oddly enough, has been discarded by wolf biologists). The pair however are cruelly whisked away by a pair of evil hunters and dumped in a hellish new land so that they can repopulate. Sadly to the disappointment of the fans, instead of indulging in some furry sex, they try to find their way back home. Along the way they encounter a grumpy talking goose (just like the one in Balto), a caribou stampede (just like the one in The Lion King), and single-handedly beat the living shit out of three grizzly bears (just like real wolves) as they return home to defend their territory from evil invading wolves (just like "Black Blood Alliance" by Kay Fedewa).
Predictably wolfaboos collectively squealed in delight discovering a movie that captured wolves in all their glory, rather than persecuting them like Little Red Reding Hood and The Chronicles of Narnia. But ultimately their true love for the movie is not simple the bastardization of wolves and anime, but the slightly creepy premise that the wolves' only purpose was to repopulate. Fortunately their dream came true with the arrival of Alpha and Omega.
Some argue that wolfaboo trolls (particularly tartlets) are only ripping this movie because it's about wolves and wolves suck because wolfaboos love them. However don't forget that this isn't just any wolf movie - it's a movie with LSD-colored, stick figure, anime-hair wolves fucking.
Up next: SPARKLEDOGS Take Manhattan
- Official website
- On Failbook
- Alpha-and-Omega Club on Deviantart
- And one dedicated especially to Kate
- TV Tropes is shocked to discover DeviantArt h8s wo1fab00s
WOLFABOO: The Movie is part of a series on
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