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|HOLY SHIT, 4 YEARS OF WAITING AND ALL YOU GET IS BOATS, AND SOME SLIGHTLY BIGGER FUCKING BOATS, LOL!|
War Thunder: Endless Grinding Simulator is a Free-to-Play World War II/Cold-War game with a built-in crossplay function between PC & PS4, made by yet another Russian developer, Gaijin. Like all good MMORFAGGERs, it features excessive use of grinding, heavy-set bias, pseudo-Realism, and a community of inbred fuckwits that know as much about history as a third-grader does about pussy.
The only way to get any enjoyment of this is to play as the Soviet Union until the game is shut down once people stop giving a fuck about it.
This game is the arch-nemesis of Wargaming's series of World of Tanks-clone games, which are even WORSE.
- 1 Introduction
- 2 Aviation
- 3 Ground Forces
- 4 Naval Forces
- 5 Patches / Planned collateral damage
- 6 The Community.
It is a Free-to-Play grinding-based boring-fuck game about airplanes, tanks & boats. The developers, like all good Russians, have such heavy bias in the game - the other nations may as well not even exist. The overall gameplay is fine-and-dandy until you figure out that this all just a way to trick you into spending all your cash into virtual premium grinding machines. It functions good enough, but like anything built by Russians, will crash & burn sooner or later. The occasional seal-clubbing in the lower tiers does provide some entertainment though.
You will encounter retards from all over the world, trying to waste thousands of hours of their lives away for virtual vehicles. It is an endless grind that cannot be beaten, even with Premium activated. It should also be noted that you will probably never read any enemy player's chat, because Gaijin are SJW dickheads that enforced a default NO ALL-TALK setting to all new players and even existing players two years into the game's creation, which is hidden behind hundreds of layers of menu bars. Trying to insult anyone in this game outside your team is therefor mostly fruitless.
Excessive use of grinding.
Like all Free-to-Gay MMORFAGGERs - this game features way too much fucking grinding. Most of the time you will waste nearly sixteen hours attempting to progress one level, will have no fun, and will rage quit IRL-side. This game uses grinding as a method to keep players playing and dumping Jewgolds into their pockets. Including but not limited to -
- Worthless Boosters.
- Crates. - Rigged to give you absolutely nothing in return. Not even Valve would dare to pull shit like this.
- Paint Schemes.
- Symbols. - Fucked the pooch on this one, originally all were available for free - in the stark realization that more grinding could be added or more Jewgolds could be made, they have been restricted greatly.
- Premium accounts. - The only way to achieve anything in the long run.
- Premium aircraft. - Promise big XP boosts, but give almost nothing, despite good match results.
- Talismans. - Horribly overpriced trinkets you attach to a SINGLE regular vehicle, transforming into a premium, sort of. Atleast they randomly drop.
- Flags. - They used to be free, but now Gaijin have locked them behind paywalls for the low sum of 500 Jewgolds each. They claim the reason was that players were abusing them, but the real reason is that Gaijin got butthurt with all the eurofag players putting Ukraine Flags on Soviet Bloc Tanks.
Inevitably you have purchased some of this stuff, as they give you free Eagles for doing fuck-all. Outside of the aforementioned there is not much else to purchase, but give it time and we will be required to pay Jewgolds to wipe our ass and pay for ammunition. However, this is not about Jewgolds is it? No, it is about heinous overuse of grinding - to end the digression; grinding is used as a crutch for the shitty gameplay that lies limping upon it like the fucking cripple it is. You cannot do anything without grinding first. Something that you want must have a certain number of X killed and burning corpses raped to obtain it. It is no different than any other MMORPG in this regard.
Control schemes available
For all of you that have decided you do not care if you do not look like a toughie - then you will go with the normal setup for keyboard and mice. This control scheme cannot, and will not fucking work in Simulator Mode - and attempting to pilot in that mode with this will make you look like a complete fuckwit as you fail to even take off.
- Keyboard OR Mouse
For all of you that do not give a fuck about your mouse and/or keyboard - this is the control scheme for you. Your plane can be controlled primarily by your mouse OR your keyboard. This, like the stock setup CANNOT be used in Simulator mode, and if you attempt to use it; you will still look like a retard. There really are people insane enough out there to play this game with a keyboard only.
For all of you whom have too much disposable income, too much free-time, and too much virginity - you probably use this scheme with a full layout of other airplane shit without realizing that every player with a mouse in all but ONE GAMEMODE has an edge over you, and nobody but your mother will ever love you. This one allows you to play in Simulator mode without feeling like you are going to crash into the ground/water/mountains/your mother at any given moment.
Are you fucking serious? Are you trying to insult the glorious PC master race? Go back to your Playstation 4, pleb.
Basically the Anti-Life Equation.
Planes: The Soviet Union's Airforce of Steel-and-Platinum made flying bunkers with large-caliber artillery batteries mounted in them are unbeatable. Most players of the Soviet Onion attempt to justify their over-powered faggotmachines by asking if you had ever played the Soviet Union in-game. Like any rational thinker, you probably have - and more than once you faggot. No Russian aircraft can be shot down by anything. If you were hoping to kill at least ONE Red before you had ragequit, you were completely wrong - and will die in poverty and alone. Oh, you think that's bad? THAT'S JUST THE AIRPLANES, their ARMOR is on an entirely different level of existence.
Tanks: Made from complete Paper. No, not their armor; those are kilometers thick reinforced with Stalinium so effective at absorbing 9,000,000 tons of TNT and solid metal, it makes you wonder why tanks are not simply made entirely of T-34 Driver Hatches and Optics. Rather, the very design of the tanks and the specifications of its performance and armament are so outrageously fictional and impossible in real life, one doesn't have to look far for the original "blueprints" of the tank scribbled on the back of a bar napkin by a drunk and delusional Russian. These Paper Tank carries APHE Ammo are topped with miniaturized Nukes that obliterates anyone in direct line of vision. Of course the general community can not know this Komrade, for these Object Tanks are derived from top Sekret Dokuments tovarishch. Questioning the Authenticity merits an all expense payed vacation to the depths of a Gulag in Eastern Siberia.
They are the most underpowered and neglected nation in the entire game as Gaijin has a knack for ignoring this nation until everybody stops caring. When asked about potential additions to this nation in the next patch, Gaijin is reported to have said "We have a Japan Tree?" only in Russian.
Planes: The IJA-AS/IJN-AS's aircraft are completely fucking useless. They all have horrible armaments, horrible speed, no armor, a shitty pilot, and their agility is about as useful as pedal-powered wheelchair. Currently, nobody uses any Japanese aircraft and nobody ever will. They cannot do anything but burn up, lose their pilot, lose their wings, lose their tail, lose their guns, and crash to the earth in a ball of fire and heated obscenities. In doing so, Gaijin insures you will never be able to fly the plane of choice again with repair costs so large, it'll bankrupt your wallet faster than lending to Greece.
Tanks: Introduced to appease the weeaboo masses and then promptly ignored. It combines the debilitating repair costs that Japan is most honorable for with the complete incompetence that is German Tanks. Most notable is the STB-1: a Leotard 1 ripoff whose fucked up turret is so small, it makes you wonder how the gun breach is suppose to fire without ripping a new asshole in the middle of the gunner's chest.
The Germans are the main cannon fodder of the "good guys" in this game and serve only to attract Wehraboo purists and masochists. They are still better off than the Japs, which nobody plays anyway.
Planes: The German planes have lousy armor, average speed, poor agility, and (buggy) powerful armament. The Krauts suffer from a terrible early game, all their planes from tier 1 till early 2 are either outdated and overtiered junk, prototypes/paper (or terrible Italian machines for the guys who played it before the Italian tech tree). They are constantly destroyed by Americans. The 20mm and 30mm guns fail to do any sort of meaningful damage despite multiple registered "Hits" and visual explosions that the community has renamed the entire tree as "Sparklers". Sparklers are known to give their enemies a slight tickle and fireworks display to inform them that you are in range and give the Americans in particular time to turn around and LIBERATE German Wings from the main fuselage in one FIDDY-CAL burst. Unlike Japan, they have more players, more planes, jets, more Premium aircraft, more attention from developers (but only because the Germans are main shooting gallery target), and more attention from the community (mostly rage). A lot of people play them until they realize they should just quit and join the Americans after experiencing rapid unplanned disassembly in one shot several times.
Tanks: You want to play tanks instead? Have fun being outdriven, outgunned, outclassed, outarmored by every single NATO tank for the rest of the game and playing the cannon fodder for the enjoyment of the retarded NATO community. Take for example the Mighty Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiger Ausführung E: BR 5.7, terror of Europe, Death Incarnate of all Russian T-34s on the Western Front. What do they face in game? PT-76: Developed and Produced in the year 1951, nearly half a DECADE after Hitler killed Hitler and still used today. Centurion Mk 3: Introduced in 1948, armed with darts that laugh at armor and has historically walked unscathed from the Ground Zero of a British Nuclear Test in 1953. Fv4202: Prototype of the Legendary Chieftain, Like a Centurion Mk 3 except with a impenetrable turret. What about the Panzerkampfwagen Tiger Ausführung B? Surely this 1944 "Wunderwaffe" that would have, according to Wehraboos, won the Eastern Front for Germany if only they mass produced this barn sized metal brick in factories that resembled more the surface of the Moon rather than an industrialized country. Here's a short list of enemies and year of introduction: Centurion Mk 10 - 1952, Vickers Battle Tank Mk.1 - 1965, T-54 mod. 1951 - 1951 Duh, 90 mm Gun Tank M48A1 Patton III - 1956, AMX-30 - 1972, AMX-50 - 1951, Iosif Stalin-4M - 1947, Object 906 - 1962, and so on. You get the point, none of what Germany faces in Real Life are what they are going to face ingame.
The Italians got their own tech tree now. It's a shame there's no Pizza delivery truck.
Planes: Featuring an amazing display of ugly planes, they are, as expected, worse than every single German counterpart. But Gaijin wouldn't be Gaijin if they didn't implement some intentionally buggy features to make the Italians more attractive to first-purchase customers (a lot of these planes are unbalanced as shit). Of course, there are not enough Italian planes to actually make even the bare minimum of a tech tree so they have to Copy-Paste German planes to fill holes. They also gave the Italians an American Exported F-84G before the Americans themselves got it. So Americans had to fight objectively superior models of their own planes for months before Gaijin saw that the whales willing to pave their way through a tree with Jewgold trickled to a stop, finally giving the Americans a copy of their own damn plane almost half a year later.
Tanks: Even Gaijin doesn't really care. You have 2 Premium "Tanks" and an empty promise for more I guess.
The incredibly boring and tedious to play Britfags are the Former undisputed gods of Air Fighter Planes and the useless tank surgeons of War Thunder. Their planes, mainly the Supermarine Spitfire, have side jobs as orbital launch vehicles for the British Space Program. Already, thanks to the VTOL Spitfire LF Mk IX, the British Space Program have successfully set up a Colony housing Nazi POWs on the Dark Side of the Moon. Their tank ammo, shunning all trace of HERETICAL High Explosive Filler as ordered by the Immortal Queen Elisabeth in all her wisdom.
Planes: The most overpowered group of aircraft in the game are presented by the British. All have vertical climb rates, decent armor, turn diameters measured in dimes, and the second largest playerbase - the Brits are only trumped by the Americans. Their only drawback are the complete useless pieces of crap that are 20mm Sparkanos. In America, these "cannons" are employed by children as Firework displays for both the exciting visual effects the High "Explosive" generates and the fact that it cant kill a fly with any of its ammunition.
Tanks: Having access to Post War design far earlier than any other tree, British Tanks are not that bad... except for the lack of High Explosive Filler. Without HE Filler, the lead slugs will do literally no damage outside a laser line from point of entry to point of exit if at all. Thus requiring users to take the time to surgically remove each and every crew member during which the kill can easily be stolen by a superior HE Filler Loading Russian or American Tank.
Just another sad imaginary faction that was wtfpwned by the Krauts IRL and basically out of commission during most of the timeframe in this game. Planes and tanks are either napkin delusions by Frenchmen drowning their sorrows in their local bar or copy pasted from nations that actually fought in the war.
Planes: Flying baguette pinatas hyped up as great achievements of aviation. This tree is kind of neglected - but not nearly as severely as the Japanese bonsai tree.
Tanks: A joke gone too far.
A shocking amount of people play this tree, but still not enough to prove that capitalism is superior.
Planes: Their tree consists mostly of shitty planes that were destroyed by Japanese Loli-Airplane Machines, and get destroyed by Japanese planes with some frequency. (However, nobody plays Japan so most Americunts are fine.) Most people make a life commitment to 'MURIKEH and never change their tree as they are mediocre enough to glide by in-game without too much pain-and-suffering. This tech tree's entire existence makes a 180 degree turn after tier 3, with the focus on garbage fighter-planes lost in favor of easily grindable money-making-machines, AKA B-17 bombers. Everything after that is just for making short work of Germans.
Tanks: Their armor department is an absolute nuisance to grind in the beginning, until you reach their faster than light tanks with huge cannons that completely obliterate Krauts (again) for the rest of the game. Other than that their stuff tends to have paper armor and tends to break the moment somebody sneezes at it.
The most balanced and fair game of all time
War Thunder started off as a aviation arcade-game with some ties to previous iterations of the "IL2 - Sturmovik" series. It has "realistic" gamemodes, which are however a joke and nobody wants to play them. Therefor the planes are the most finished / balanced part of this shitshow, content-wise. Unless you choose to play the immortal Soviet Onion, you start with unbelieveably shitty Reserve planes which are both slow and undergunned. You can avert this slightly by (of course) putting your hard-earned cash into premium planes that have a lower battle rating than the normal equivalent. Pro players usually use these premiums to go duck hunting in early tiers. Why do they do that, you ask? To grind? No. Grinding with lower tier premiums is entirely worthless. The reason is that the game's not fucking fun at higher tiers. Jet fights suck, are expensive to maintain and are over in less than 10 seconds. Most people don't even own a jet or can afford one. So what happens is that REALLY bored players, who invested way too much time into grinding through the game, use their lower tier planes to go on having fun by shredding every biplane they come across.
To give you an overview of the GENERAL SITUATION:
Reserve - Pre-War Biplane battles and some really horrible Tier 1 players and smurfs. The only time you will probably truly have fun in this game.
Tier I - Same as Tier 0, except more people desperately trying to earn silver by farming ground targets. Expect a lot of shit-tier planes to fly.
Tier II - More planes with cannons start to appear and there is a general balance between furballs and bomber-hunting insanity. You can effortlessly murder people at this tier with the right plane combination.
Tier III - The Yak-9 series with its T & K variants appear and things start to get sort of annoying. Here you will experience your first taste of getting one-shotted. Booming & Zooming starts to get popular and furballs are literal balls of death. Plane selection is at its most varied and bombers are starting to get rarer, unless you're American. B-17 bomber spam is a common sight.
Tier IV - At this tier, thing are starting to get truly shitty. Random jets that can't find matches in Tier V will pop up from time to time, bombers are now cannonfodder. Grinding for new planes starts to become impossible.
Tier V - No fun allowed. Expect less than 6 players on each team, at best. Fights are over in seconds. Jet bombers are impossible to unlock. And even if you manage to get your hands on one, the general bomb-load is pathetic compared to a Tier III or IV bomber. You will waste away your silver lions. Oh and if you ever hope to intercept B-17 bombers with a Me-262, it's not gonna happen. Enjoy fighting Korean War jets instead.
The types of battles available.
Arcade battles feature piss-poor flight models, resulting in an unbelievable amount of anger from everyone, as all of the planes are fucking impossible to hit. It does not help that YOU are flying, being completely incompetent at the game. Like all good Free-to-Play games, it features an unbelievably large amount of griefers and trolls, willing to fuck up your day by ramming you out of the sky, blowing your fragile* aircraft to bits, or pretending to ram you so you fly into the ground/mountains/forests/homes. This gamemode can be played in any of the control settings, and is fairly easy, yet still overtly complicated, if you lack any cognitive ability - and we know you do. * Does not apply for Soviet Justice Enforcers
Realistic battles feature overdone flight models, resulting in near-immediate death of your aircraft, pilot, crew, payload, and inevitably yourself if you try to move your mouse a bit too much to the side. This type of battle means you will suffer and die if you do not have a joystick, as most planes become near impossible to control. At this level of serious business, trolls and griefers are not as present, but prove an even larger threat to your gameplay experience. Oh, did we mention that your plane's wings can snap off, your pilot can die from exhaustion, your guns can jam, you can only reload while landing, you are limited to ONE aircraft, you must take off from the airfield, you can go into a stall and tailspin to your doom, and you can only unjam your guns by landing? It seemed important.
Arcade battles not serious enough for you? You want more challenge without being a tryhard? Well, fuck you - because the only thing you can do in this mode is try hard.
Unlike the other modes, Simulator features the most unresponsive, non-functioning flight models ever programmed, combined with the fucking hardcore challenge of flying Realistic Battles with a flightstick for over 30 minutes with nothing happening. You can only use your hyopr-reelizsmcontrol scheme which means you will not only require a Joystick, but also shit like TrackIR head camera hardware, pedals, thruster controls, additional programmable mini-keyboards, and more overpriced garbage, otherwise you will never even be able to take off without slamming into the ground or the gaggle of trees right next to the goddamned runway. If you cannot read the instruments on your aircraft using the cockpit view, which is the only view available, you will most likely explode in midair. Like RB, you can only take off from the airfield, refuel from the airfield, unjam your guns from the airfield, scratch your ass from the airfield, and talk shit about how pathetic the Imperial Japanese Naval/Army-Air Service (Dainippon Teikoku Rikugun Kōkūtai\Dai-Nippon Teikoku Kaigun Kōkū-ta for all of you weaboos) and Luftwaffe are, and realize you are wasting your time as you have been playing this game for nearly eighteen hours now and have missed going to work for that day all from the airfield.
All-in-all, avoid this mode like the plague, unless you really want to be like those elitist, diehard douchebags that thought they were hot shit in "IL-2 Sturmovik" for shooting down more than 1 player at a time.
|Choose your overpowered plane!|
• A5M4 - Tier 1 Weeaboo plane that out-turns pretty much every other plane in the game, but has the shittiest guns. Shooting down anything that isn't a Biplane takes at least 100 years of stupid circlejerking. It also can't climb or chase enemies thanks to its crappy engine and instantly falls apart when hit.
• A6M2-N - Low level Zero with terrible speed, but has cannons equipped. Sucks balls if you're not directly in a furball.
• A6M2 / 3 / 5 Reisen - The Zero really has a fitting name. It doesn't doesn't deal any damage, it has almost no ammo, it catches fire instantly and falls apart almost as fast. What does it do well then? Turning! Combined with its lousy damage, it can't finish off anyone fast enough in a turn fight. The weaboos on WT might argue that you should try it in Realistic Battle, well duh, with the amount of ammo you can only down ONE plane at best before having to fly home to your base (if you're that lucky). No wonder the nips lost the war. And after all this, Gaijin increased the battle rating, so all the Zeroes do now, is getting their asses kicked by planes from late 1943 and up.
• Attacker - Nobody flies Jets.
• BF 109 - THE generic Kraut plane with so many variants that you wonder why there are even any other machines for the Germans. After the E-series, the Messerschmitts are basically the same. Pure energy fighters that constantly get raped by Americans and / or Russians.
•• Bf 109B-1 /Late - The earliest version of the Messerschmitt. It has two puny mgs, which you can use for scratching a Yak's back.
•• BF 109 E1 - Unlike the E-3 and the other ones it has no cannons, so it's basically like a terrible Spitfire. Only good for the people who'd like to humiliate their enemies with weak mg fire.
•• BF 109 E3 - An overtiered former slav-genocide machine with the worst cannons in the game. It once used to be one of the best planes in the game. The MG/FFs in the wings can only effectively penetrate biplanes and/or Hurricanes and will sparkle on anything else. Gets shot down by Hellcats all the time.
•• BF 109 E4 - Generic copypasta of the E3.
•• BF 109 F-1 - The immediate successor to the E series suffers from only having a single MG/FF/M in the propeller.
•• BF 109 F-2 - An F-1 carrying a single MG151 instead of the MG/FF. Unfortunately it's a shitty prototype that only shoots 15mm rounds, making it just as useless as the MG/FF.
•• BF 109 F-4 - After a 2 variants with waterguns and 1 crappy prototype, the germans FINALLY get a good 20mm cannon. Unfortunately it's only a single nosecannon, but 2 additional wing-mounted MG151s are available as gunpods at the cost of some plane performance. The only 109 anyone ever uses.
•• BF 109 F-4/trop -
•• BF 109 G-2/trop -
•• BF 109 G-6 -
•• BF 109 G-10 -
•• BF 109 G-14 -
•• BF 109 K-4 -
• BF 110 C4 - This heavy fighter could do massive damage ... if it didn't turn like a walrus, which makes it barely useful against anything else but fighter planes below tier 2, people with an IQ below 80 and bombers (duh). It's also funny how Gaijin completely ignores this plane and all the other missing variants so they can give you more prototype shit.
• CL-13A Sabre Mk.5 - Nobody flies jets. F-86 recolor for the Krauts so they have a late-tier plane. Not that anyone sane bothers grinding through FOUR jets to reach the fucking thing!
• CR.42 Falco - An average italian biplane that does average damage with terrible ammunition that won't register its hits. Compared to the Soviet, British and American counterparts it's very forgetable.
• Do 17 Z-7 - A early variant of the Dornier. Not as good as impressive as the later versions, but still does its job.
• Do 217 Heavy Fighter variants - Lean, mean killing machines with a lot of Dakka.
•• Do 217 J-1 - If you wanna know a plane that embodies pure evil, both visually and technically, look no further. The Dornier is the meanest looking motherfucker in the entire game. It has a gigantic amount of ammo, strong defensive gunners and the only true enemy of this beast is anything that shoots 30mm rounds. And after all this, this thing still ain't got shit compared to the Brokenfighter and IL2.
•• Do 217 J-2 - Same fun as above.
•• Do 217 N-1 - Same fun as the J-1, but with a pointless BR rating increase that will make it get eaten alive by Yaks.
•• Do 217 N-2 - EIGHT 20 mm cannons, but it's less maneuverable and it suffers heavily from it.
• Do 335 - One of the weird late war planes that Wehraboos always praise as the best thing ever. It's not.
•• Do 335 A-0 -
•• Do 335 A-1 - Ground strike variant.
• Fury / Nimrod - Absolutely terrible reserve planes. The absolute worst. Some people say the Ki-10 is the worst, but they should be thankful that they never had to fly these planes in a grinding event before. You cannot even hurt a fly with their machine guns.
• F1M2 - It's so useless, it might not be even there at all.
• F2A-1 Buffalo - The only reason why people didn't give up playing the USA in this game. Seriously. Anyone who's not retarded uses this plane to his advantage to rack up huge amounts of biplane kills.
• F2A-3 Buffalo - Same thing as the other version, except with boring navy colors and four 50.cal machineguns. Wrecks havoc on all other planes.
• F2H-2 - Nobody flies jets.
• F4F Wildcat - An early bulletsponge for the Americans. Heavy as fuck but shreds biplanes within seconds and can even survive russian cannon shells. Unfortunately nobody uses it correctly.
• F6F-3 Hellcat - Time-travel device for trolling Germans.
• F4U Corsair - If you thought shooting down people with other planes was hard, don't even bother with this piece of shit, as you will give up and cry like a bitch until you get the cannon version.
• F7F-1 - The murican version of the Do 217. It never runs out of ammo.
• F8F-1 - Piston plane on steroids. With or without cannons, doesn't matter. The Bearcat completely wrecks anything in a matter of seconds, even jets.
• F9F-2 / -5 - Nobody flies jets.
• F-80C Shooting Star - Nobody flies jets.
• F-82E - HAHAHAHAHA, WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Utter shit.
• F-84B - Nobody flies jets.
• F-86A-5 / F-86F-25 / F-86F-2 Sabre - Nobody flies jets. You'll have more success building a multi-billion dollar business than grinding to to any of these things.
• Fw 190 - Rape machine with a piss-poor flight model. Incredibly lulzy damage output, though.
•• Fw 190 A-1 - First in a series of murder-death-kill planes.
•• Fw 190 A-4 -
•• Fw 190 A-5 -
•• Fw 190 A-5/U2 -
•• Fw 190 A-8 -
•• Fw 190 D-9 -
•• Fw 190 D-12 -
•• Fw 190 F-8 -
• G.50 / 7AS - Ugly guido planes that easily out-turn Hurricanes and Spitfires, but they only carry 300 rounds of ammunition. Seriously. They can't even escape when running out of ammo due to their pathetic Fiat AR.74 R.C.38 lawnmower engines, making them easy kills for any self-respecting russian.
• Gladiator - A biplane that can't turn.
• He 51 - A weak reserve plane. The two mgs are a joke, all they can hope for is to kill the pilot. Even with all this, they're still more respected than the P-26.
• He 112 - A failed competitor to the Bf 109. A low tier garbage plane that is both slow and suffers from lock-ups. Comes in 3 different flavours and 3 pointless premium variants.
•• He 112 V-5 - The very first plane that makes you regret ever choosing the german line. It's a useless prototype with the same lousy armament of the He 51. On top of that it can't maneuver and it locks up at higher speeds. That means it will crash right into the ground if you try to boom & zoom on someone below you.
•• He 112 A-0 - A V-5 that can turn with retarded Brits at low speeds but still suffers from speed lockups. It has a Flak cannon glued to the Propeller, making it essentially a poor mans Yak9T at Tier 1. Destroys Russian Biplanes with ease when flown by an experienced Pilot.
•• He 112 B-0 - The first "good" german fighter after several agonizing unlocks. It still has the horrible speed lockup problem, though. However, it has two cannons and two mgs, which kind of make up for its lackluster speed. Still a terrible choice against anything russian in this game.
• He 162 A-2 - Nobody flies rocket-powered wheelchairs.
• Ho 229 - Nobody flies jets. Muh Kraut high tech plane. Only good for flying in circles, as it's so fucking huge and slow that anyone can easily shoot at its wide hitbox and break it in half.
• Hurricane - Early game killers. They are exceptional at destroying biplanes and they hold their ground against planes of equal strength, but will fall apart against anything above them. The later version has two more guns and rockets installed, which makes it easier to down fat, juicy bombers.
• I-15 - All other nations get machines from the mid-1930s as reserves, but not the soviet justice enforcers, nuh-uh. Instead, they have advanced biplanes from 1939 which are actually successors of an older model with bigger guns than any other machine of the same level. Fuck this game.
• I-153 M-62 - Oh hey, don't mind me, I'm just the russian tier 1 exterminator, making every other nation's arsenal my bitch. I can also carry rockets!
• I-16 Ishak - Annihilates the opposition. No mercy for the weak.
• I-185 - Prototype that was meant to complement/replace the La-5 during the war. Crashed during testing and never saw service IRL, but in game it might as well be a superior alternative to the La-5 due to its historically accurate FM representing the technological superiority of the Motherland over those dirty fascist pigs.
• J2M(...) - A poor man's Fw 190.
• J7W1 - KIWI DESU~ ^_^ (It sucks ass)
• Ki-10 - Japanese reserve Biplane. Only useful for Kamikaze attacks on Russians.
• Ki-27 - See A5M4. Slightly faster and that's about it.
• Ki-43 Hayabusa - A Ki-27 with a better engine and minimal gun improvements. Stays alive as long as it doesn't face any russian planes or Hurricanes.
• Ki-45 - The result of a fugly threesome between a Bf 110, P-38 and A6M. Has a 37mm airsoft™ gun.
• Ki-61-la - The first jap plane that is neither crippled, nor too weak too survive on its own. However it only has MGs and doesn't really do anything better than other planes of the same level.
• Ki-84 - Pimped out Ki-43.
• Ki-102 otsu - Carries a big gun to compensate for his tiny azn dick.
• Ki-200 Shusui - Nobody but the most suicidal of Japs fly bootlegged rockets with highly explosive acid for fuel.
• Kitsuka - A poor man's Me 262.
• LaGG 3 - It only has a single 12.7mm gun and a single 20mm cannon, yet it somehow swats planes out of the sky as if they were 37mm cannons.
• La-5 - The Communist Grim Reaper.
• La-7/La-7B-20 - Death incarnate.
• La-9 - Satan Himself.
• La-15 - Nobody flies jets.
• M.C.200 series 3/7 - It's just a G.50 with more ammo.
Unless you get all the upgrades for the plane, it's not worth flying.
• MC 202 - The first plane for the Germans that doesn't instantly nose-dive into its death at the slightest speed. The Folgore is basically the only Italian plane that anyone in the game actually "respects". Was considered OP as fuck IRL, so OP in fact, that the Italians tried to destroy any abandoned machines during the Murrica invasion, yet ingame it's a sub-par throw-away plane.
• Meteor (...) - Nobody flies jets.
• Me 163 - Nobody flies rockets with highly explosive acid for fuel.
• Me 262 - Nobody flies jets. Historically used to beat the shit out of "Mustangs" and "Flying Fortresses". In this game it is instead used to fight Cold War Migs and Sabres.
•• Me 262 A-1a -
•• Me 262 A-1/U4 -
•• Me 262 C-1a -
•• Me 262 C-2b -
• Me 410 - The BF 110 replacement, with lots of big one-shot guns. Mostly used for giving commies their own medicine.
•• Me 410 A-1 -
•• Me 410 A-1/U2 -
•• Me 410 B-1 -
•• Me 410 B-1/U2 -
•• Me 410 B-6/R3 -
• N1K2 Shiden-Kai - A pimped out Zero that comes at a level where nobody gives a shit anymore.
• Mig-3-15 - A surprisingly average plane for the commies. It's not broken, can you believe it?!
• Mig-9 - Nobody flies jets, and if they do, they use this.
• Mig-15 - Nobody flies jets, and if they do, they use this. Comes in a GDR Kraut variant, too.
• Mosquito FB MkVI - The fastest piston plane of the war is a complete cripple in this game. No, really.
• Mosquito FB Mk XVIII - A Cripplefighter with a 57mm gun for blowing up anyone who's retarded enough to get into your gunsights.
• OS2U-1 - Cannonfodder.
• OS2U-3 - Cannonfodder 2.0.
• Pe-3 Peshka - It's just exists to rape your bombers.
• P-26 Peashooter - Anyone who knows how to energy fight properly can rack up huge amounts of biplane & wop kills with this thing. Most of the people flying it however will turnfight like the noobs they are, die, and then call it the "omfg WORST PLANE EVAR!!11" as they proceed to grind Russians instead.
• P-36 Hawk - Though all three versions become progressively stronger, it gets outturned and destroyed by basically every other non-german plane of the same level. The last version is compareable to the P-40. Bonus points for the really cool looks, though.
• P-40E-1 Kittyhawk - The american work horse in this game until the P-39, as all other planes are flawed to the core.
• P-38G-1 Lightning - What used to be the laughingstock of the US tree now climbs like a Jet, turns like a Spitfire and is faster than any Tier 2 plane across the board. Still can't carry bombs though.
• P-39 Airacobra - Rapes everything with its 30mm cannon, broken as fuck ingame. In reality, this plane was a unreliable piece of shit and non-commie pilots HATED it.
• P-47 Thunderbolt - A flying glass cannon. Has the potential to basically murder everything, but its flight and damage model are so terrible that it always ends up dead instantly. Yes, the best mass produced US plane of WW2 is complete trash in this game.
• P-51 - If there was a description for something worse than trash, it would be this. Sorry amerifats, the ex-commies won't allow you to relive the made up tales of the oh-so-great and super nimble long-range bomber escort fighter that was "unbeatable". The P-47 was the better plane anyway, try reading about it, you dumb fucks.
• P-61C Black Widow - an murrican's Do 217 rip-off. Before You getting first of P-51D. it's important to Research this plane first. before researching an P-51D. You Could get this heartbreaking moment if Your Plane was exploded. also. It's Had super-lethal accurate Gunner Turret inside this plane that destroys enemy airplane on back. and four cannon to ripping any plane on back of player in seconds. making this plane are OP. but will get down by Jets or aircraft that have atleast 20mm cannon on its armaments.
• P-63 - Same shit as the P-39, except that it feels like you're in heaven when flying it.
• P-80A - Nobody flies jets.
• Ta 152 H-1 / C3 - Pimped-out Fw 190 variants.
• Spitfire - Britain's solution for basically everything. They can outfly anything and destroy everything that flies. The first two versions have no cannons, but as soon as you're in higher level territory you will hate these things more than your own step-mother.
• Tempest - Upgraded Typhoon ... zZzZzzzzz.
• Typhoon - Typhoon ... Hurricane ... guess that makes sense. Basically a upgraded Hurricane.
• Vampire FB.5 - Nobody flies jets.
• Yak (...) - All the normal Yaks with no 30mm+ cannons are essentially the same. They can't turn that well, but they make up for it by dealing ridiculous amounts of damage. Just by firing in short bursts you can destroy 5 planes without ever having to reload ... IN ARCADE! Not even heavy fighters are safe from them.
•• Yak-1 - At a battle rating of 2.0 the slav-shits get a fully-functioning butcher that takes virtually no skill and goes hand in hand with its best butt-buddy, the I-153. If you don't see that these developers are heavily biased by now, you're completely fucking retarded.
•• Yak-9T - Why would you want to fly any other planes in the game when you can fly THE UNDERTAKER itself. What takes an American 37mm two or three shots to kill, a fucking Soviet 37mm does in one, and with insane accuracy. This overpowered monstrosity is one of the main reasons why most people won't make it past tier 3. The 37mm cannon of this plane actually was capable of ripping the real Yak into pieces when firing.
•• Yak-9K - A Yak 9T with a 45mm cannon. Makes other players cry in their sleep.
•• Yak-15 - Nobody flies jets.•• Yak-17 - Nobody flies jets.
• AD-2 - The freedom fries version of the IL-2. Impossible to unlock without grinding yourself into a hellish limbo. You have an 10 rockets, which you spam at retarded bombers before you get shot down by another fighter plane. The twin 20mm cannons are obliviously abused for doing dogfights, since you can't do shit against heavy tanks with them.
• Beaufighter - A virtually unkillable machine of doom. Don't even bother shooting at it.
• IL-2 - One of the most broken planes in the entire game. It turns better than an X-Wing, flies almost as fast as a goddamn BF 109 and has more firepower than three fighter planes combined. It's also heavily armored. In realistic tank battles this plane also gives no two fucks about enemy fighters nor ground AA. It just destroys both and keeps flying. If this thing spots you in your tank, it will first fire all rockets into you, burning you alive in your tank. If that didn't work, it drops all it's bombs onto you. And if THAT still wasn't enough, it will turn around AGAIN and fire it's entire payload of ammo into you ass. Most people don't even survive the rockets. The funny thing is, that the IL-2 flies so low and slow, it could actually be easily shot down by any tank, but obviously everyone wants to drive into the next KV-2 instead. ... BALANCED! ... but in all seriousness, when the Luftwaffe captured and tested these planes, they were considered a joke, their only saving grace was their armor. The IL-2 was actually the most shot down soviet plane and they were completely unable to do a dogfight. EVEN A STUKA WAS CAPABLE OF SHOOTING THEM DOWN!
•• IL-2M - Same broken plane with a flimsy gunner in the back. Why do you think the russians had to put a gunner into the back of this version of the plane? This thing was fucking piss weak against other planes IRL. So, basically it is slower than the IL-2, but it still puts out a broken amount of damage.
•• IL-10 - Pimped out IL-2 that is getting its ass kicked by high tier planes. Good riddance for that.
• Ju 87 G-1 / G-2 - Anti-tank version of the Stuka with very limited ammo. Only used for "trolling" & teamkilling. Shooting tanks with the huge cannons barely ever works. If you think you're so hardcore that you could take on tanks with this thing in tank battles, prepare to either die in a fucking fire of anti air flak batteries or run out of ammo and returning to base after your first strafing run. Fun fact: You need to grind for armor piercing ammo first before you can even ATTEMPT to do any air raids on tanks.
• Hs 129B-2 /B-3 - Overtiered ground attack planes that looks like ducks. Comes in another variant with a huge tank-busting cannon that only with sheer luck can score a player-kill. Has no back gunner and eventhough it historically should be the best armored ground attack plane of the era, goes down as fast as a biplane.
• PBJ-1H/J - Modified B-25s that carry less bombs, but one version has a BFG integrated that's supposed to be for killing ships, but doesn't even work correctly.
Version 1.25 made the bombers king of the battlefield.
Version 1.27 reduced their income and survivabiltiy.
Version 1.29 reduced both fighters and bombers income and survivabiltiy.
Version 1.31 reduced bombers survivability even more.
Version 1.33 made the bombers useless, due to even less survivability.
Version 1.35 didn't change anything, so bombers are now the laughing stock of the game.
Bombers actually have never had a real place in this game. They are XP farmers that encourage selfish gameplay that ruins whatever game they're in. They're either indestructible death machines that take up 9 slots on the US team, or they're paper planes that refuse to / can't be escorted.
• Arado 234B-2 - Nobody flies jets. Especially not a JET BOMBER that costs so much to maintain that you could file bankruptcy the momemt you bought it.
• Arado 234C-3 - Nobody flies jet bombers with huge cannons.
• Ar-2 - Just another generic, undownable russian bomber.
• BB-1 - IRL trash plane that turned on godmode in this game. Why it's classed as a light bomber in this game, nobody knows. Used most for killing other bombers, as it's indestructible without cannons of your own.
• Beaufort Mk VIII - Weak bomber. Not even worth using, besides leveling up.
• Blenheim Mk IV - Weak bomber. Did you know that it actually has a front mg in its left wing? Most people don't even use it.
• B5N2 - A poor man's torpedo bomber, oh shit son what are you doing?.
• B-17 Flying Fortress - High tier base destroyer, that will drain your lion reserves like mad, if you fuck up really bad. You gotta be really fucking stupid though, because this bomber is overpowered and trying to attack it alone is suicide, thus is comfortable enough to fly at high altitudes, without having to fear of being shot down. Can easily wtfpwn atleast two fighters with its 50cals, but will usually go down as soon as any competent player with atleast 4 cannons, a jet or any scrub with a Yak-9 shows up. Got its bomb load nerfed, hard.
• B-24D Liberator - Pimped out B-17 that acts as a flying autoturret deathmachine.
• B-25 Mitchell - A cool looking bomber with a good bombload and good gunner placement. Problem is that it has the biggest rubber tail the world has ever seen. It will go down in seconds.
• B-29 Superfortress - The largest plane in the game. Basically an obese, roid-raging B-24 that is near-impossible to intercept by 99% of props at high altitude, but easy target practice for jets.
• B7A2 - Japans pimped out Stuka. Nobody uses this thing as a bomber, because it's the only jap plane that has some armor and cannon ammo in it. You'll be seeing this thing doing dogfights constantly.
• B-57A Canberra - Nobody flies jet bombers. Easier to reach than the others though, as all you need to do is grind with your B-17s until the end of time. It has no guns, so all it's good for is suicide bombing or getting shot down by just about any other jet.
• B-57B - Nobody flies jet bombers. It has guns now, yay...
• Do 17 - The first version on the Dornier. Besides looking kinda like a futuristic spaceship. it doesn't have much going for it. Small bomb loadout and a small front mg for hunting biplanes.
• Do 217 Bomber variants - The bomber version of the Dornier. It's a high tier bomber so it's obviously cannonfodder. Fighters always kill them first because their defensive armament is absolutely beyond pathetic and they have a huge blind spot on the backside. The only plus is that they are "fast".
•• Do 217 E-2 -
•• Do 217 E-4 -
•• Do 217 K-1 -
•• Do 217 M-1 -
• D3A1 - A poor man's Stuka.
• Fw 200 C-1 - Four engines and yet it's so pathetically slow that even biplanes catch up and destroy it. Literally a flying torch.
• G4M1 - Betty gets laid more often than a crackwhore in Vegas.
• G5N1 Shinzan - A B-17 wannabe. Impossible to unlock, dueto Japs being absolutely horrendous at everything. Flies like a turd and is even easier to hit than a flying boat. Goes down in 2 hits and the gunners never hit anything.
• G8N1 Renzan - Nicknamed the "Death Star". It's a super-pimped out, indestructible B-29 copy that almost nobody owns. Instantly gets downed by jets though, if anyone ever flew those.
• Ki-21 - Weak Japanese bomber. Used for grinding through the godawful Japanese line in the hopes of getting a "Death Star" bomber one day, maybe ... hopefully ... ?! The pathetic 7.7mm gun on the back is only useful for tickling noobs and consolefags in biplanes. and it can't climb for shit. No chance of survival if the enemy plane has any kind of cannons or is a P-47. It has the mythical strong japanese rubber tail that can't be shot down by biplanes, making mid air collision with a biplane player on tailside lulzworthy.
• Ki-49 Donryu - Japanese paper bomber, comes equipped with a free "shoot me" sign.
• Lancaster Mk 1 - R U HAVIN A GIGGLE THERE m8? And giggle they will, as your 7.7mm guns lightly tickle anything that gets close.
• Lancaster Mk 3 - A Lancaster with a .50 cal turret in the back, so you can damage aircraft on your tail and tickle them everywhere else.
• H6K4 - Big, fat target that everyone wants to hit like a pinata. Comes with a cannon on the backside to piss off noobs and biplanes. It has terrible bombs at the start and needs to grind its way up until it finally get two 1-ton bombs.
• HE-111 - It has the best payload for its tier, but it can't climb for shit.
•• HE-111 H-3 - Its tail consists of rubber, so it will go down in 3 hits, and that's extremely understated. The defensive gunners are almost completely worthless.
•• HE-111 H-6 - Can't climb for shit, dies instantly. No chance of survival.
•• HE-111 H-16 - Nobody is insane enough to take this thing out for a ride. Gajin actually had to lower its BR because it is so goddamn pathetic.
• Hs-123 A - A biplane with a single 250 kg bomb. Fancy.
• IL-4 - A horrendously boring russian bomber, with starter bombs so laughable that you will skip it instinctively. Ruski players try to bomb tanks regularly with it, but always miss by a mile.
• IL-28 - Nobody flies jets bombers, and if they do, they use this.
• Ju 87 Stuka - I have no siren and I must scream. In realistic tank battles, dive bombing is considered suicide, because as soon as you reach any diving speed the plane falls apart for no reason. Even in the cockpit it clearly says on the right that it could reach much higher speeds without ripping itself apart. Anti Air will make you a flying matchbox no matter what you do, anyway.
•• Ju 87 Stuka B-2 - Low-tier Stuka with a shitty bombload. Agile enough to deal with Biplanes.
•• Ju 87 Stuka R-2 - The first Stuka to carry a 1 ton bomb. Worth the weight!
•• Ju 87 Stuka D-3 - A Stuka with a little more bombload than the R-2.
•• Ju 87 Stuka D-5 - Unlike the other Stukas, this one can actually shoot down fighters with ease. It has two 20mm cannons with lots of ammo and a strong support gunner. Probably unrealistic, but who gives a fuck, the slavshits have the IL-2. In realistic tank battles the two cannons don't do anything against armor.
• Ju 88 A / A4 - Surprisingly fast and agile bomber with a huge payload below a BR of 3.0.
• Pe-2 Peshka - Same shit as the Pe-3.
• Po-2 - Super secret russian biplane, equipped with thermonuclear weaponry and a stealth field generator. Good luck getting one of those.
• PBY Catalina - American float plane bomber. Generally used to piss off biplanes by being a indestructible flying sponge.• SB - PROTIP! If you feel too lazy to shoot at things yourself, just buy all the SIX variants of this early game bomber, put them all into your lineup and fly behind or between enemy fighters. Even if enemies turn your plane into swiss cheese, it will still fly like an angel. The gunners are accurate as fuck, use the same ammo as the I-153 M-62 and almost never die. And even if you actually get shot down, who cares? You still got 5 more to start with. On top of being indestructible nimble auto-turret death machines, they also carry bombs for you to grind enemy tanks so you can easily win the game.
• SBD-3 Dauntless - American dive bomber. It's good enough to do its job AKA it will be shot down right after dropping its load.
• TBF-1c - American torpedo bomber, except that people rather use the bomb loadout. It survives longer than the SBD, atleast.
• R2Y Keiun-KAI - A poor man's jet bomber that nobody obviously flies.
• S.79 Sparviero - A fast bomber that has a front mg. Before dive bombing on level bombers was nerfed, you were capable of doing some lulzy fast-bombing and ass-kicking with these things. Now they're mostly left in the hangar. Half of the SIX variants that exist have been removed from the game and we can't really be bothered to name them here, because nobody gives a fuck.
• S.79B Sparviero - The big, useless, overtiered version of the S.79. Finding a person flying these nowadays is about as likely as winning in the lottery.
• Su-2 - Just another goddamn BB-1 version that comes in three fucking variants, just so it can ruin your day.
• Swordfish Mk I - Most players call it the worst plane in the game, but most players are stupid, so whatever.
• Tu-2 - Same shit as the Pe-3.
• Wellington - The Wellies fall apart as soon as you look at them, but they have one ace in the hole, a 4000 pound "cookie" bomb that works excellently against tight formations of heavy tanks. So it's basically just good for grinding lions.
• Yer-2 - Fear not, comrade, for the enemy just lost their airbase. Just to piss off every other nation in the game even more, Gaijin gave the ruskis a bomber that is capable of carrying the heaviest bomb load in the game, yet being extremely fast when diving in. Just 3 of these bombers are enough to win a game, just by suicide bombing the enemy base. It must be some kind of joke really, Gajin put 5000Kg bombs in the top tier Yer-2. As a long range bomber it could never carry more than 2000kg, the later versions were even heavier with diesel engines and had to be reinforced. Most russian airbases couldn't even let them take off fully loaded and if they were ever trying to travel a remotely long distance they had to sacrifice bomb load for fuel load. Last but not least only approximately 370 were ever built of all variants, so it beats us that they choose to introduce 6 variants of a bomber that was a total disaster, insignificant during the war with stats that would make a B-17 blush in shame and being buffed so hard, that it breaks the game.
Various ways to die.
- Being riddled to pieces.
The least common method to die is being torn asunder by every-fucking-thing honing in onto you, swooping down like an eagle to a ram and tearing you to bits. Usually your plane does not even survive and you go down regardless.
- Being shot down by AAA-fire.
One of the more common methods of dying is allowing artificial intelligence to fucking pwn your stupid ass for flying too low. Only a true threat to Japan, you would have to be a true dumbass to get shot down by normal AAA fire.
- Being shot down by BASE AAA-fire.
The difference to normal AAA fire is that these airbase flak batteries will absolutely pwn your ass in seconds if you don't have a very fast plane that is capable of taking them out. Don't bother fucking with them, let someone else die for their country.
- Being shot down by Destroyers.
Who would have thought that the ships in World War 2 used laser guided flak batteries? You won't be safe from them, even at 6000m altitude. This is also one of the reasons why nobody uses torpedos in this game anymore.
- Getting rammed up the ass.
Most head-on attacks end like this. You will die like this with a 50% chance. Most bombers are kamikazed to death. Teammates crashing into you in a furball is more likely to happen than a Yak vaporizing your bleeding anus. *Update* This has become the preferred method of execution by faggots who cannot shoot you down the normal way. Also has become a favorite tactic for taking you out in any tank battle.
- Having your pilot knocked unconscious/killed.
The most common method of dying is getting your pilot killed or knocked unconscious by enemy fire. It happens far too fucking often. Nearly every last one of your deaths have been related to your pansy-ass pilot being incapacitated because the little pixie fairy could not handle a piece of hot lead nicking him.
- Having your tail get shot to pieces.
The most insulting way to die in this game. It takes forever to die this way, because you plummet face flat down into the ground. Your best friend in this situation is the eject button.
Sometimes, one can earn some Golden Eagles or free planes by doing near-impossible grinding tasks.
While there are rare Golden Eagles events where you just have to kill a lot of people, these have to be done at the worst possible times, where you have to waste away your entire weekend to earn 5 ingame dollars.
Much worse though are events that grant you planes. Gaijin wanted people to grind about 1200 planes with ONE NATION so you could get ONE high tier premium plane. Note, the average player shoots down 3-4 planes in a game. Or how about winning 225 event missions with 75% battle activity to get a russian Spitfire. Because winning russian recolored planes is so fucking exciting.
Another event had people grinding during Halloween for a shitty, absolutely useless russian biplane bomber, the "Po-2", which was removed during the Beta because the developers thought it served no purpose.
In November 2013, players were hyped to do the Golden November Eagles event, where you could earn some GE on three weekends. The developers lied to the community by telling them they would bring them an event that never happened before and that there would be amazing rewards for grinding for the ground forces closed Beta invites. The ongoing grinding in this game would have made World of WarCraft gold farmers shit bricks. OP DID NOT DELIVER! The event was a fucking -20% off Golden Eagles and there was never any reward, plus they wanted to spy on your ID cards before they even let you test the closed Beta.
Once, War Thunder intended on hosting an event honoring Kamikaze from World War II. The event was canceled after Vodka-kaze charged a city and blew themselves to bits. We believe it to have been an inside job.
It appears that Gaijin by 2017 mostly gave up with the whole plane-giveaway thing, as they figured out that most players really do keep them to grind faster in the game. And they obviously don't want that to happen.
It really is the most fair and balanced game, ever
With the arrival of patch 1.41 and the tanks, Gaijin found many more ways to grind your brains out. Worst of all though, it brought the PC masterrace in touch with PS4 console plebs. Patch 1.41 let North American PS4 users in. The amerifats were forced to play with the PC users. You can read about this fiasco in a different section.
Noteworthy: After fucking up the Playstation 4 release by delaying cross-play with PC players another 6 months, the game finally featured tank battles in a closed beta environment that you could unlock with tasks atleast twice. If you did not bother with doing most of the near impossible bullshit-grinding challenges that were issued, you had to pay anywhere from fifty to one-hundred United States Funcash to gain access. Butthurt ensued.
It's still not as bad as World of Tanks.
Playing tanks consists of nothing but having the biggest fucking cannon and lots of luck, i.e., driving a KV-2. Small tanks get realistically one-shotted by everything, while their call-in artillery function is only a minor annoyance that is used against models with an open top or crippled enemies whose damage model refuses to let someone have the kill the normal way. The old famous trick of driving behind a tank or flanking it and shooting into it's ass doesn't seem to work most of the time, because even if you shoot into the tail it does only minor internal damage. If you think going for the ammo cache is a way to kill a Russian tank in one shot, you are definitely wrong and you will be put into a gulag afterwards.
A major difference to World of Tanks is the inclusion of mixed battles. When you hit "Realistic Battles", be prepared to face lots of suicide bombers diving down on you to bomb the shit out of your tanks. It's the easiest way to get kills, after all. For a long time it used to be that there were completely broken automatic anti-aircraft stations at the edge of the map, which used to shoot down almost every plane in a matter of seconds, which made the use of bombers a one-way suicide mission. This was only fixed after about one year of constant complaining. Quality game support right there.
It's also very common of tanks to WTFPWN a plane out of the sky with a single shot or constant barrages of MG fire, making the job of the player-controlled AA-vehicles even more pointless.
Everything the Soviets have dominates the battlefield. In the minds of the Russian government-backed developers, the Soviet construction of vehicles was NEVER faulty and the armor was ALWAYS constructed with the highest quality, like it was displayed on the blueprints. The Soviets all use space-age technology with tanks made of Tungsten firing off HEAT's filled with unstable Uranium. Russian tanks are indestructible, German tanks are shit and only serve as antagonizers and their early-tier tanks consist of prototypes and cannonfodder (And to prove this, Germany has nothing to counter the Soviet's Cold-war Era tanks. Completely fair to us, guys. Shut the fuck up about it!), Japanese tanks are all made of paper with paper crew members and tiny guns for good measure and are be the most neglected tree in the game, American tanks are all utterly mediocre and get destroyed by everything in one shot and nobody honestly gives a crap about the Italians and French.
Here's a overview of the GENERAL SITUATION:
Reserve - Pre-War tanks, tractors and tin-cans duke it out by blind-firing at each other like retards until someone dies. Sometimes people cruise around in armored cars, doing nothing. Planes are mostly harmless.
Tier I - Same as Tier 0. Tanks get a little stronger, but fights are usually just cap-zone bumrushes. Planes start dropping small bombs that you can drive away from easily.
Tier II - Tanks start to get good at long range fighting. T34 are swarming the field and become unkillable bumrushers that one-shot you with broken high-explosive piercing ammo. Russian bias starts to show increasingly.
Tier III - Heavy tanks start to show up and broken T34 variants that are able to one-shot the overly expensive Tiger from across the map for no logical reason.
Tier IV - Here starts the true pain. Expect Cold-War era tanks with technologically superior ammo destroying 1944-45 tanks of other nations, just because. If you think it's getting better from here, you seriously need to have your brain checked.
Tier V - Have you ever wondered how it would feel like if every orifice in your body got penetrated by a barb-wired steel-dildo? Welcome to Tier V.
Tier VI - What the hell is wrong with you?!
The types of battles available.
Tank arcade battles feature morons driving around the map blindly. There is no balance what so ever, since you will face giant amounts of varying heavy tanks from other nations, while your team might only consist of shitty tier I wrecks. That's why you get to choose three of your slots until they run out. After the slavs figured out that the original Arcade tank-mode is about as fun as putting a stick into your dickhole and everybody was too stupid to kill anything, Gaijin dumbed it down to a Call of Duty killstreak version. Kill stuff and you get the following rewards in order: 3x Artillery, a random fighter plane, a random attacker plane and a random bomber. The Soviet Onion tanks obviously rule supreme in this mish-mash mode and since everyone can see each other marked on the map, anyone who is lucky enough to get a heavy bomber in this mode might have aswell unlocked a tactical nuke, as there is no way for anyone to intercept it before it dropped off the bombs. Anyone who presses the plane button alerts the other team TO PRESS THEIR BUTTON to join in as a FREE interceptor, which causes their tanks become idle and easy prey for other tanks. The planes have so little time to fight in the air, they usually will go straight onto the tanks in hopes of blowing one up. The rewards are lousy and do not even benefit in the research of planes. And the best feature of all, that still hasn't been fucking removed: "Find the green cross" and hit mouse 1. You win!
Realistic battles usually feature horribly balanced two axis versus three allied nations tank face-offs with no enemy markers, in which planes sometimes come into play as game ruiners. Gaijin previously shat out a test mode called "The Sky is for Heroes", which they then permanently integrated into RB. It's all about aquiring a higher kill-score to get into planes. Sounds cool? It's not. The russians rule supreme in this game mode. German Panzers struggle to survive the ongoing KV-2, T50 and T44 spam and can barely keep up with the required points for re-entry after death. Ir used to be that all planes got massively REK'D by the AI with it's AAA that shot down virtually EVERYTHING, it took them one year to fix this. As soon as the enemies have air superiority, they will drop bombs and rockets on every friendly tank, and there's nothing you can do about it, because everyone except you never tries to take some potshots at the planes. Even the stupid asshole in his Flakpanzer can't hit the broadside of a barn. It was once the gamemode with the most devoted playerbase, but now it's only populated by people with ULTRA LOW QUALITY SETTINGS, which removes plants from the game so they can easily spot black bricks to shoot at in the distance.
Same rules apply here as in realistic mode, except you can only choose either two light or medium tanks or one heavy and one plane. Usually the planes do jack shit and just fire at each other, achieving nothing, while someone ninja-caps points until the game is over. Here you're forced into a above the turret view and there are no goddamn markers at all, so it's all sneeky-peeky-like. Also, FULL REAL rules apply for planes, so expect NOBODY to touch one in this mode. Two reasons why anyone actually plays this: The ridiculous high amounts of RP you can get for having a killing spree and being a tryhard.
|Choose your overpowered tank!|
|Light Tanks||Medium Tanks||Heavy Tanks||Premium Tanks||Tank Destroyers||All the other junk|
• BT-5/BT-7 - Drives around like a sports car and generally is just there to annoy everyone.
• Ha-Go - Cannon fodder. I can't even stress that enough.
• I-Go Ko - Probably the worst reserve tank in the entire game.
• Ka-Mi - Piece of shit white brick with a lousy cannon, that has a tendency to just drift sideways whenever you move forward. Not to be confused with that green old slugman from DBZ.
• Ke-Ni - Literally a rust bucket.
• M2A4 - A wishy-washy tank that got its brakes stolen and has the handling of a GTA4 car. Common behaviour is blindfiring like an idiot in the hopes of hitting any vital spots with both mg and cannon.
• M3/M3A1 Stuart - See M2A4. Except this one has the odd chance of one-shotting a medium tank for no reason.
• M5A1 Stuart - All around rusty bucket which relies on speed to dodge enemy fire, which it's never able to do.
• M22 Locust - An even bigger sports car than the BT-7, will get one shot within the first minute of the game.
• M24 Chaffee - Light tank with a 75mm gun, just as useless as the Locust.
• M24 SDF - A tealish-green reskin for the nippon crowd. Laughably one-shotted by every single Panzer IV.
• M41 Walker Bulldog - The only american light tank that isn't complete garbage, makes Heavy Tanks cry with its Sabot rounds.
• M41A1 SDF - The Bulldog for the Japanese.
• PzKpfw II Ausf.C/F - Light tank that is incapable of destroying even the weakest of vehicles without struggling. Was once a reserve tank, but they switched it out for the Pz.III B, so noobs wouldn't ragequit the game (as fast). They suffer from an incredibly underpowered engine, so they perform even worse than the much heavier tanks. They fire in huge 20mm volleys that pack no punch at all, might get a lucky crew kill or something. There's no real difference between the C & F version, they both suck.
• PzKpfw 35(t) - The bringer of lulz. A reserve tank that causes extreme amounts of Schadenfreude. It's cannon is so powerful it is capable of raping every other T0 / T1 tank in the game without breaking a sweat.
• PzKpfw 38(t) - This tank is quite lulzy, in a way that everyone thinks it's complete garbage but when confronted with this thing by a player who know his shit, get's blown the fuck away by the fat cannon. The main problem with this Panzer is that there's no fucking reason to unlock it, other than trolling noobs or going for the Hetzer.
• Sd. Kfz. 234/2 - Puma's the name, speed's my game. And that's about it. Try going offroad with this overrated armored car and suddenly you cannot climb a damn hill and you will be one-shot from every side off the map. They classified it as a light tank regardless...
• T-26 mod.1939 - Slow as shit, but has a better cannon than the Panzer II. German players love to take revenge on them with their Panzer III's.
• T-50 - Broken damage model, combined with ridiculous frontal armora and under-tiering makes this thing a virtually unkillable machine of doom (aka a pocket T34). It wasn't even mass produced, it was a piece of shit IRL.
• T-60 - Only retards use this tank to shoot planes. (They eventually do hit something, mind you.)
• T-70 - Fucking useless.
• T-80 - Who the fuck researches this tank?
• Chi-Ha - This is supposed to be a Medium Tank. I repeat. A MEDIUM TANK. This thing can't even go up against the earliest version of a Panzer without blowing up instantly.
• Chi-He - Better than the Kai, but way worse than a Ho-I.
• Chi-Ha Kai - A new, slightly bigger turret that somewhat resembles a classic tank design. All for the same piece of shit tank chassis. Can you believe it? The autistic sperglords of the official War Thunder wiki call this thing the "Swiss Army Knife" of early tier tanks. Are you fucking kidding me? That literally means it's good at nothing!
• Chi-Nu - A fucking oversized tuna can that gets opened by every tank on the field. Just LOOK at it.
• Chi-Ri II -
• Chi-To -
• Ho-I - All around okay rice-cooker that can do one-shot kills, but suffers from a condition of sudden crew death.
• Leopard I - The only "political correct" German tank in the game.
•• Leopard A1A1 - Another tank from the glorious post-WW2 cuckland.
• M2 - Without a doubt one of the ugliest and most miserable medium tanks in the entire game.
• M3 Lee - A slow as fuck rolling trash bin that is only good at doing short-range potshots with its secondary 76mm cannon at other tanks. Tends to explode by just sneezing at it.
• M4A1 - The "Tommy cooker" is indeed a very safe vehicle.
• M4 - The amazing moment you start up this glorious piece of Murrica and drive between your other beige-green comrades up to the enemy, your eagle-shaped dick rises up into the air and you proudly chant "USA" three times into the chat ... only to be reminded shortly after, that your ammunition is conviently stored in your flat sides and just a small dent in the hull will cause a nuclear holocaust... AND EVERY FOLLOWING VERSION OF THE SHERMAN HAS THAT PROBLEM.
• M4A2 - Just another shitty short-barreled Sherman.
• M4A1 (76) W - Seal clubs the living shit out of any German tank that foolishly wields a 75mm gun.
• M4A2 (76) W -
• M4A3 (76) W - A Sherman which is also featured in the Jap tree.
• M4A3 (105) - A Sherman with a Howitzer that can't kill anything. EVER.
• M26 - Tiger rip-off.
• M46 Patton -
• M47 Patton II -
• Pz.Kpfw. Panther II -
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.B - A new reserve tank that was added very, VERY late into the game. It basically replaces the Pz.II C as the garbage starter tank so people would stop bitching about not being able to penetrate any higher tier tanks. This thing is so pathetic, it has HALF the armor of the E version and it can be killed by goddamn MG fire, while being a BIGGER target than the Pz.II C. Ain't that some shit?
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.E - Short cannon, sucks at long range, performs pitiful against the Soviet tanks.
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.F - Slightly bigger short cannon than the E. Just pray you don't drive into a T34.
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.L - 50mm of German Steel, it's only good when fully upgraded. (No one does that.)
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.J - T34 fodder.
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf.M - The same as L, the only different is the Schürzen that doesn't help at all when you meet the glorious KV-2.
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.C - Shitty armor, shitty gun, what's not to like?
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.F1 - Same as the ausf C just with more armor.
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.F2 - Comes with 75mm for clubbing russians (in theory).
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.G - Same as the Ausf F2 with a bit more armor but twice as shitty.
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.H - A Ausf. G with zimmerit and armor plates that overworks the transmission.
• Pz.Kpfw. IV Ausf.J - A horrendously yellow P4 that still is nothing more than a side-dish for T34s.
• Pz.Kpfw. V Ausf.A - Same shit as the D variant + a machine gun.
• Pz.Kpfw. V Ausf.D - First of the Panthers. Tricks you into thinking you can give Ivan a taste of his own medicine with your very own sloped armour and a sexy KwK42, dreaming of rolling around the battlefields of the Soviet Union during the summertime, and it's during your first game that you receive a rude awakening. You roll out of the spawn with high moral and great swagger, aiming your long gun from left to right, awaiting T-34 prey, until you get bumrushed by Joseph Stalin 2 tanks, "return to hangar" and sit at home for the rest of your life with a cat as your best friend watching shit like Storage Wars.
• Pz.Kpfw. V Ausf.F - Same shit as the D variant.
• Pz.Kpfw. V Ausf.G - Same shit as the D variant + 5 more rounds (worth it).
• ST-A -
• STB-1 -
• T-34 1940 - Super-easy to unlock, no-skill tank. Every shot is a critical hit thanks to overpowered armor-piercing shrapnel ammunition which they get right from the get-go. They also have sloped armor, which tier 1 tanks have little to no chance to penetrate. Fun fact: The first real T34s had no reliable aiming device, so crews had to shoot with MG tracers first to actually see where their cannon rounds would land... and this pathetic pile of mass produced shit is currently sniping you with no effort. GG NO RE.
• T-34 1941 - Same shit as the 40s version.
• T-34 1942 - For some reason, this tank from 1942 always lands in a 2.0 Battle Rating setting, basically facing pre-war tanks. Russian bias? Don't be silly, you little facist pig.
• T-34-57 - It's a fucking 57mm sniper rifle. Perfect accuracy, perfect penetration. Get your free fudge packing today!
• T-34-85 - Same as the D-5T but with a better turret made from stalin steel.
• T-34-85(D-5T) - A T-34 with better armor and a gun that shoots leninium.
• T-44 - A T-34 with 10 more tankovyi's of power. Also has a hilariously low BR so you can bet your ass that you will encounter it at any given time.
• T-54 mod 1947 -
• T-54 mod 1951 - Because a tank that came out 6 years after the panther II is "fair".
• Type 61 -
• M103 -
• M4A3E2 -
• M4A3E2 (76) W -
• M6A1 - Just like a typical american, this thing is fat and slow. It also blows up like the fourth of July the second anything so much as glances at its side armor. Only useful in Arcade, where it faces T34s that it can first cripple with the side cannon and finish off with the main gun quickly. Can cause quite a massacre in close combat.
• Pz.Kpfw. VI Ausf.B (P) - The Porsche Tiger II, the unloved fat fuck cousin of the Tiger is doomed forever to face tanks that were developed up to a decade later, which both outdrive and outgun it. Gets shot through the frontal turret armor, the tracks, and the sidearmor EVERY FUCKING GODDAMN TIME. DON'T FUCKING PLAY THIS BROKEN PIECE OF SHIT.
• Pz.Kpfw. VI Ausf.B (H) - The Henschel version of the Tiger II, just in case you thought grinding to the Maus tank couldn't take any longer. Absolute pain in the ass to play.
• Pz.Kpfw. VI Ausf.B mit 10,5cm KwK L/68 - The David that can finally (after 4 tiers of waiting) slay the IS-2 Goliath, unless Goliath is not drunk, high or incapable of using his 122mm dick. Seriously. This thing has no armour for its tier.
• Pz.Kpfw. VI Ausf.E - A Tiger I reskin, so you can die twice in humiliation. Has a MG34 on top so you can expose yourself to other tanks in the area while you try to shoot at some low-flying Soviet bomber that just wiped out a quarter of your team.
• Pz.Kpfw. VI Ausf.H1 - The famous Tiger I is underpowered as shit, mostly because it has to face the EXACT Soviet tanks that were produced to kill it in every single match. The closer you get to your enemy, the worse your gun penetration becomes. Wat.
• Pz.Kpfw VIII - JAJAJAJAJAJA, MAUS IS IN DAS HAUS! You will never unlock this thing without dying of old age.
• IS-1 - A slightly more armored KV-85 with x10 more ammo explosions.
• IS-2 - The Russian Tiger with a invisible deflector shield. It one-shots a Tiger II with absolutely no effort and is virtually unkillable.
• IS-2 mod. 1944 - A IS-2 with a different hull. May god have mercy on your soul.
• IS-3 - Frontally one shotted by Panthers from a mile away for some odd reason.
• IS-4M - Giant damage sponge with no weak spots.
• KV-1 L-11 / ZiS-5 - If you thought the T-50 was unfair compared to other tanks, you haven't encountered this beast yet. The commie bastards get their own heavy tank way easier and it can absolutely wreck every medium tank in a single shot. Favourite target practice for Stuka pilots, in case they aren't shot down by virtually everything.
• KV-2/KV-85 - A variant of the KV tank with the ability to WTFPWN anything Tier III and below with it's 152mm cannon. In arcade mode, Players often camp near the base and snipe other camping tanks with the help of the shell drop indicator. In Realistic and Simulator mode, Players try to get close to you without getting critically damaged or destroyed so they can unleash their load upon you.
• T-28 - For seal clubbing low tier germans. Goes down in one shot sometimes, dueto retarded ammo placement.
• T32 - Pershing on steroids with a 90mm gun pushed through a 300mm thick Big Mac
• BM-8-24 - A very squishy, but small rocket tank that speeds around and does easy kills on low level tanks.
• BM-13N - The Katyusha rocket artillery is a completely worthless shovelware item that you can only unlock in events. It has absolutely no purpose in the game. Its rockets do no damage, it has no armor, it has no means of self-defense and worst of all it has no way to effectively use its rockets to barrage enemies because they fire unrealisticly slow and you have no artillery aiming mode.
• Brummbär - Artillery tank that kills almost everything in a single shot.
• Chi-Ha Short Gun - Pay 2 Win sushi-preorder bundle tank that one-shots just about everything at its rank.
• Cobra King - Unkillable from the front, if you're fighting these in realistic as the Germans, you might as well take your cyanide pill now.
• Grant I - Just as useless as the Lee, minus a machine gun.
• Ha-Go Commander - YOU WANT NEW TANK? HERE RESKIN, FUCK YOU!
• Heavy Tank No.6 - It's a Tiger 1 for the Japs, how original. As most people apparently couldn't be bothered to grind for the real German tank, they instantly jumped on the Japanese preorder bundle and got it this way. Expect to see atleast TWO butt-buddies with this vehicle, camping together in one spot. It's also one of the very few heavy tanks for the japs, which makes it even more laughable.
• IS-6 - In case you haven't noticed that video we put up there, this absolute Pay2Win terror machine has controlled the entire game of Tier 4-5 tanks for several months. It is a unkillable, unstopable slavic death machine that has no weak points. It will one-shot every single tank whereever it goes. Only after HALF A YEAR did Gaijin "nerf" a small part of its armor, but that doesn't stop it anyway. In fact, the Ru-251 was later introduced so that German players would start buying THAT tank just to kill the IS-6. From a sales marketing standpoint its absolutely genious, though.
• KV-220 - A KV-1 on steroids, this thing is nothing short of Stalin in the form of a tank. It has armor as thick as the Berlin Wall, and has a devastating 85mm main gun capable of punching through enemy tanks like butter, and is generally a nightmare for Tigers and Panthers alike.
• M2A4 (1st Arm.Div.) Sherman - Muh original recolor!
• M26E1 - Hey look, a reinforc- 7000 JEWGOLDS?! GAIJIN ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
• M3A1 Stuart (USMC) - USA! USA! USA!
• M4A2 Sherman - The slavshit variant of the Sherman with a fancy star attached to its name.
• M4A2 Sherman (1944) - LET'S PUT A CLAPPER IN TIER 1 FIRST AND THEN REMOVE IT, BECAUSE MURRICA FUCK YEAH. EH BLOWS SHIT UP 24/7, DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING AND CELEBRATES THE 4TH OF JULY WITH EVERY BURNING WRECK. b-bretty gud 11/10.
• M8A1 - The M18 that hasn't evolved yet, this rare American tank destroyer seal clubs fucking everything at its tier and battle rating. But with Papier-mâché armor, it can be killed by sneezing in its general direction.
• SMK - A cleverly disguised battleship on treads with a mediocre 76mm main gun and a shitty 45mm as a secondary. As tall as a lighthouse and visible from miles away, expect to be shot to shit by the enemy the moment you spawn.
• T-III - A Panzer III that for some odd reason is capable of taking tons of damage and is OF COURSE placed at tier 1 with a 50mm cannon.
• T-126 -
• T-26 (1st Gv.T.Br.) - T-26 recolor. DON'T STEAL!
• T-26E - A T-26 with additional armor plating, but will get shot to shit regardless.
• T-34 Prototype - A T34, put into tier 1, just for seal clubbing. And best of all, it has absolutely no working damage model. You can't buy this thing anymore, tovarish.
• T-34 (1st. Gv.T.Br.) - Is of original reskin comrade! Do not of stealings!
• T-34E - A T34 in the same tier with additional armor plating, making an already overpowered tank a steamroller.
• T-34-57 mod. 1943 - This is like a premium preview version of the 34-85.
• T-34-747(r) - It's a salvaged T34 with a 76 mm cannon for the Krauts. Because there is absolutely nothing better than a T34 in this stupid fucking game.
• T-34-85E - Killing Tigers in one shot is not rewarding enough for you? Don't look any further. But first you must buy the entire bundle :^).
• T-34-100 - 100 mm cannon. Balanced.
• T34 Sherman ‘Calliope’ - Not to be confused with the slavshit brick. It's a mobile rocket launcher Sherman that makes the german side even more miserable than it already is.
• T-35 - Multi-cannon tank, that was hyped up like nothing before it and then released as a premium tank so everyone could get a "free" reason to hate Gaijin even more.
• T-44-122 - One-shotting Tiger IIs is not rewarding enough for you with a regular T44? Look no further. We present you a T44 with a 122mm cannon at the same battle rating as a normal one with 85mm gun. Fair and balanced for everyone.
• Panzerbefehlswagen Jagdpanther - A Jagdpanther with an antenna. Amazing. It's like Christmas, Ramadan, Hannukah and Kwanzaa at once.
• Panzerbefehlswagen IV - A Panzer 4 with an antenna, wowzers.
• Panzerbefehlswagen VI (P) - A Tiger prototype with an antenna. The breakfast of champions!
• 'Pz.Kpfw. Churchill - A premium Churchill tank for the Krauts. Fun for the whole family!
• Pz.Kpfw. II DAK - Premium Cannonfodder.
• Pz.Kpfw. II Ausf H - A Panzer II with a 50mm cannon, just in case you wanted to be an asshole for once.
• Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf N - A shitty premium with a infantry support howitzer that only dipshits buy.
• Panzerwerfer 42 - A fucking worthless halftrack that fires rockets in a straight line, which are also extremely slow and drop to ground in no time. It also can't be used for any artillery support. Only gets kills when the enemy tanks are too distracted to shoot it at first sight.
• KV-1E - WE ARE INVINCIBLE NOW COMRADE! Just a generic KV-1 for the Soviets.
• KV-1B - WIR SIND JETZT UNSTERBLICH, KAMERAD! Use this thing in Simulator battles for hilarious results. You will either get teamkilled or you casually drive behind enemy lines and destroy every T34 you come across. They won't notice anything. Promised.
• KV-1B 756(r) - WIR SIND JETZT UNSTERBLICH, KAMERAD! A KV-1 with a German long cannon. Cannot pretend to be a Soviet tank very well, because the cannon is a dead-giveaway.
• SU-57 -
• SU-122P - A not shit verion of the SU-122, its all yours for the small sum of 6090 Golden Shekels.
• SdKfz 140/1 - A premium version of the German Reserve tanks, just a useless as them except that its open topped, allowing you to see your crew die to superior soviet tanks.
• VK 4501 - A super-rare Porsche Tiger prototype which can drive super-fast in reverse. That's really all it can do. It's also significantly worse at taking damage compared to a regular Tiger.
• ZUT-37 - A open top modified T-70 with a 37mm Flak Cannon. Why the fuck would you buy this?
• 8.8cm Flak 37 Sfl. - The ULTIMATE glass cannon of the game. This halftrack has NO armor, but it carries a goddamn Flak 88 with AP ammo. It's able to fuck up just about any tank up to tier 4 and sometimes the damage model is so broken, that the only way to kill it is to shoot at the crewmen directly. As soon as it was introduced, most people abandoned their Stugs and Marders and started using this in hordes, parking them next to each other to create a supporting wall of death. Unfortunately they have no AA ammo, so shooting down planes with shrapnels is not possible.
• Dicker Max - Basically a really fat and slow Marder that always burns up the second someone shoots at it. 105 mm cannon makes up for it, though.
• Ho-Ro - The only japanese vehicle on Tier 1 that can kill something. That's just sad.
• Ho-Ni I - The Japanese Marder, sort of, just way less potential.
• Ho-Ni III - Same shit as the I, except now you won't get instakilled by machineguns.
• Marder III - Considerably huge cannon for its tier, with almost no ammo and a tendency to fall over just about every time.
• Marder III H - More Marder fun times.
• Nashorn - A oversized tank destroyer with a Pak43 crammed into it. In theory it should kill ANY tank in one hit, but of course the sekret documents of the Russian deflector shields have shown that this is not true.
• Na-To -
• RakJpz 2 - A kraut rocket launcher with huge fucking missiles. Good look grinding this.
• RakJpz 2 HOT - A kraut rocket launcher with smaller guided missiles. You will never have this.
• Panzer IV/70 - Very meh upgrade of the Jagdpanzer.
• Jagdpanzer 38(t) Hetzer - The weeaboos usually try to drift in this piece of shit. The cannon can turn only 28 degrees, the cruise speed is horrible and the damage it puts out is so lousy that you'll have trouble ever maxing this thing out before you switch back to a StuG.
• Jagdpanzer IV - All around miserable tank destroyer that makes you wish you kept your StuG.
• Jagdpanzer V Jagdpanther - Incredible murder-machine with strong frontal armor. The flat profile allows it to aim at enemy tank turrets without revealing any weakpoints. Absolutely wrecks everything that is not aware of its presence, yes even IS-2s are not safe. Has a nasty flaw though. Its side armor is very thin, so every round that goes there will make you go boom. Best thing to do here is to cut your ammo in half, so it doesn't stockpile there. A dream for campers and probably the only good German tank at this battle rating.
• Jagdpanzer VI Jagdtiger -
• Jpz 4-5 Hanomag-Henschel - Who in gods name would even WANT to unlock this thing?!
• Panzerjager Tiger (P) Ferdinand - Sets itself on fire like a tinderbox filled with oily rags. It's also so massive that every single IS-2 tank on the map will try to stop you, murder you and then finish it by killing all your hopes and dreams of ever having anything good on the German side.
• Sturmgeschütz III Ausf.A - Puny short barrel, high damage. Fucking useless against anything bigger than a T34.
• Sturmgeschütz III Ausf.F - Slav-annihilator, discounted version. Overall very useful as long as nobody flanks it.
• ISU-122 -
• ISU-122S -
• ISU-152 - Soviet Tank destroyer with a 152mm cannon, used by plebs to shotgun the shit out of everything.
• Sturer Emil - 15 shots of ammo, lmao. Considering that at Tier 4 you're dead as soon as anyone sees you firing, that's enough to do the job.
• SU-100 -
• SU-122 - Nigh useless tank destroyer with a howitzer that does jack shit. Good luck trying to unlock Anti Tank ammo for this thing when it dies within the first 30 seconds of driving it.
• SU-76M - Fucking useless SPG that has poor mobility and armor along with a gun that's impossible to aim.
• SU-85 - Has a High Velocity 85 mm gun that shits on most German tanks in its tier.
• SU-85M - Reinforced Frontal Armour to bounce shots so that you piss off any German tanks that actually get a hit on you.
• T95 - The American Maus. If you see this thing aiming at you, you better RUN. FUCKING RUN! Trying to unlock this thing is like shoving a glass bottle up your ass.
• Type 60 SPRG -
• ZIS-30 - Goes down in one hit, just like Steve Irwin.
• 3.7cm Flak 36 - Can't fire forward, can't really do anything at all.
• 72-K GAZ MM - This AA truck is a joke, at least you have a tires upgrade, enemy can't blow up your tires!
• Coelian - The Übermensch AA tank. Got its sidearmor nerfed because lower tier players cried about it.
• Flakpanzer I - This thing is only useful for shooting down a drunk commie in a biplane or to scare some ducks.
• Flakpanzer I Gepard - Not to be confused with the Tier 1 crap. It has two 35mm cannons.
• Gepard - A Flakpanzer I with slightly more armor and fancy looks.
• Kugelblitz - The first AAA gun that actually has good protection, can be used to scratch the paint off all the post-war era tanks this thing faces thanks to matchmaking.
• M13 MGC - A wonky halftrack with two .50 cals that spends 90% of the time driving around like a braindead npc vehicle from old shooting gallery games, in the hopes of hitting a weakspot on a light tank before dying to both MG and cannonfire.
• M16 MGMC - Double the Dakka, just as useless as its predecessor.
• M15 CGMC - An AAA gun that has a cannon and two .50 cals, wont stop people from driving it in the same fashion as the M13.
• M19 -
• M42 Duster - Available for both the Americans and the Nips (lol).
• Ostwind - A Wirbelwind with a fast firing cannon. Loves to drive around and blindfire onto enemy tanks before getting its open-topped crew splattered all over the place.
• So-Ki -
• Ta-Se - A very pathetic Japanese Flakpanzer basically. The average player does not seem to hit anything with it, ever.
• Type 94 - It has a gun, I guess?! The officer looks like as if he has a broom up his arse.
• Wirbelwind - In case you demanded more DAKKA. Enjoy being spotted by every enemy tank around you as soon as you fire into the air.
• ZSU-37 - Tier 4 Wirbelwind knockoff thats as shitty as the SU-76
• ZSU-57-2 - Soviet Laser Defense system, WTFPWN's aircraft and most tanks if they are retarded enough not to angle their armor.
The ultra-low quality settings - exploit
Gaijin really seems to love fucking with the minds of its players. There comes a point though, where things just become so screwed up that even the most loyal dicksucking War Thunder fanboy has to resign in utter shame. Imagine you had a great graphics engine for your game, and now think its virtually useless for the player. Would you fix that problem? Well, Gaijin sure ain't! They don't give two shits about the HUGE advantages of turning down all graphics to a Pre-2004 standard. When they turned off the markers in realistic combat, things started to heat up pretty quickly.
Thanks to this trick, you can snipe enemy armor across half the map, and the other guy won't know what hit him, thanks to all the trees & foliage that's in the way. To make things better, Playstation 4 users cannot reduce their graphics, so they're completely at the mercy of PC players with minimum settings. Just see for yourself:
OFFICIAL DEVELOPER STATEMENT
When will the Ultra Low cheater graphics settings be removed?
Answer: Are they really cheater settings? Switch them on and try to play. These settings haven’t given any significant advantages for a while: vegetation is rendered at a great distance and, in contrast to standard minimum settings, is not transparent. We’re not planning to get rid of Ultra Low. After all, many War Thunder players just like you use these settings.
Actual cheating / Gaijin's denial
Gaijin spreads its web of lies whereever it can. Especially when it comes to aimbots, wallhacks or any other sort of cheat. They will tell you that, since their game is server-based, cheats would not be possible. Anyone with atleast somewhat of a brain should have noticed by now, that a lot of people do unusually incredible shots at the higher tiers across more than half the map. They are shooting you through hundreds of trees, right into your spawn, in a single shot without adjusting their aim, killing you instantly. Gaijins answer to this is to "git gud". Our answer instead are fact videos.
Notice how Gaijin illegally copyright-claims these videos we regularly find on YouTube.
Fully functional short-range aimbot and wallhack
You wished for destroyers, cruisers, carriers and battleships, and what did they make after three years of waiting and grinding? Boats. They claimed that it is impossible to produce gameplay for anything bigger than boats. The uproar of the War Thunder community was so intense that Gaijin backpaddled like crazy and hid under a blanket for several months. Then finally they came out with their first Destroyer and they've been adding more in those closed Naval tests. From what we can see so far, the ship combat is extremely bland and uninteresting.
Our prediction is that Soviet boats will be able to sink the Bismarck by just ramming it.
Patches / Planned collateral damage
The day War Thunder went down the shitter. If you thought grinding was bad before, think again. With this new update, to better accomidate the Ground Forces update that never was - grinding has gotten MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more painful. Lowering the levels in the game from twenty/nineteen to five and dramatically increasing the amount of time that has to be dumped into the game to unlock planes. Now, to unlock a plane, you must first research every upgrade for the previous plane (Or use a plane that is already finished being modified to broken and back.), and grind until you unlock it.* Players have been complaining about this update since the very instant it was implimented, and Gaijin has confirmed they do not give a shit.
Oh and if you thought it couldn't get any worse, Gaijin nerfed the research points income AGAIN in mid-2015 in a HIDDEN change by 50%. FIFTY PERCENT!
- Protip: You won't unlock your desired war machine in this lifetime. Better get out your funcash or become an AZN grinder.
"Tuned according to datasheet" is Gaijin's new term for buffing Soviet planes because they "supposedly" "found" SUPER-SEKRIT dox and data sheets in old bunkers or some shit. It's not like the slav scientists and technicians under Stalin's terror regime collaborated together to fake the test results to not get put into Gulags... This also means they will randomly weaken several foreign planes to the point of uselessnes.
Patch 1.45 - Steel Generals
A patch that shoves the UNTESTED amerifat clapper tanks into the game. In order to actually gain access to them all, Gaijin expects you to pay cash for unlock packs or wait a few thousand years until they actually make the tanks available to the public. Yes, you read that right. Untested, broken, overpowered tanks that people have waited for two years, which you have to buy with real money in order to use. The American tanks are actually so broken that their .50 cal machineguns can rip right through light tanks with ease while the cannon blows up a Tiger in one shot on the other side of the map.
Like any "good" Grind-to-Play, this place features a large, completely literate, completely friendly, and utterly helpful community. In-reality, the community of this is fucking horrible more-so than World of Tanks/Shitplanes because it is tenfold larger and more Brazilians play this one. If you were expecting to enjoy this game through the community, you were fucking wrong. Unlike World of Fail, it features an astounding ability to allow a player to switch between the server clusters while in-game. Tired of playing with Polarks? Join the NA server cluster! Tired of backwater hicks hamboning over the VOIP? Join the RU server cluster! Tired of vodka-suckers failing at a game they should be able to master? Uninstall the game, because you only get three chances. Like all communities that consist of pseudo-intellectuals, operators, and rednecks - everyone will assume they know everything there is to know about aircraft, however like all children; they would not know history if a book containing historical facts were to hit them in their Autism-riddled heads. Unlike World of Tanks, this one does NOT feature many Bronies that make their homosexuality, Autism, and pure retardation a public affair nor do they have groups of weebs cumming full buckets over an anime as there IS no anime that relates to flying planes in Dubyadubya Due and the Cold War. However, unlike "WOTMAYT?" this one has even more trolls, greifers, and overall cunts per-capita than any other MMORFAGGER which is quite an astounding achievement worthy of being noted.
The Playstation 4 console plebs invade
Gaijin silently merged PS4 players in its built-in crossplay function with PC players during patch 1.41. Most people haven't even noticed the change. The same day also brought us Amerifats, playing the game for the first time on their PS4.
PS4 players are cannonfodder. They do not play realistic modes and they never seem to go further than early tier 3 before they give up. They're also mostly incapable of chatting dueto the shitty interface and controls. But they can read your chat! So if you ever wanted to prove the superiority of the PC masterrace, now is your chance, because we have a feeling that the easy identification of PS4 user might be removed in future patches.
Console plebs can easily be spotted by a big "*" in front of their name. In tier 1 & 2 they fill up 70 % of the player slots. They NEVER chat unless you make them. This leads to akwardly silent games where no chat whatsoever is seen, not even a simple "fu". In the general & squad chats, all their text is a shortened garbled mess, unless they're using a keyboard, which is rare. This all looks quite like the stuff you see in Xbox live messages.
In air combat, they're completely helpless. You can use a Ki-10 and go 13-0 against them without breaking a sweat. Dueto most of them being retarded couch potatoes, they never evade attacks and they always start firing miles away. It is also rumored that they have a built in aim assist just so they can kill anything at all.
In ground forces they have a better chance, but they lack the speed and responsibility of PC users in close combat.
So, without further ado, grab some tier 1 & 2 planes, and fucking destroy them!
Facts about Russian players
- You can never count on your team mates to kill an enemy in a reasonable amount of time. They will always be in good enough shape to turn towards you and attempt a ram or shoot you down, should you turn your back on them, even while being trailed by 5.
- If you sweep down and kill an aircraft with a well aimed shot, 1 or 2 of the pack of filthy slavs who were following it and failing to hit it with their wild spray, will attempt to kill you.
- If you are being chased by Alexs and know you are going to die, fly towards a canyon wall or hillside. At least 1 of them will slam into it.
- If a slav is in a Yak9+, expect him to magdump every round of 37+ mm he has as soon as you are in range. Do not assume just because he has a poor shot, that he wont try to spam you down.
- If playing arcade, you can rope-a-dope almost the entire team of russians if you are in something like an A20. Just dive past them and keep going. Some people give up on US/EU servers if they know they cant catch you. Russians don't give up. They will follow you around the map, until they die or crash into terrain.
- Crashing into terrain. This occurs at a hilariously higher rate on RU server. If you just watch from high altitude, often times you can see ground attack aircraft or bombers simply fail to pull up in time, kill themselves with their bombs, or brush the hillsides and die.
- They get angry really, really easily. Even if they don't understand english very well. They will chase you the rest of the game if they believe they have been insulted.
- 1/2 the time, the team you are on will fail to ever land on the close airfield during domination matches. Many Vasilys will try. Many will fail.
- There is no real dogfighting in RU historical. There is head to head, and follow a target in a pack only. It is extremely rare to get a decent 1v1, and if it happens, the Zerg will eventually arrive
- Ramming. Russians will ram even dying aircraft, just because they can. Multiple times it has been witnessed, that a russian player crashed into already destroyed aircraft, while it was going down. The same player who had shot the aircraft down, proceeding to follow it down and slam into it just for good measure.
- Damaging your teammates at spawn. During arcade spawn there is sometimes someone who would put a few cannon rounds into other friendly players, assuming that they would not crash and get him the TK, but would try to fight and be easy prey. Perhaps it's like the story about being faster than the next guy while being chased by a bear? More than once this behavior resulted in an all out TK war which left more than 1 player kicked from the game.
- Total disregard for common sense. A RU can be surrounded by friendlies, focus on a single target just like the rest of them, and then go head-on for a ram despite not being in any danger, ever.
- Bomber aim. For some reason, their aim with bombs also sucks. Ships are relatively safe on RU servers.
TLDR: RU servers are miserable, much like Russia itself.
The community and bias.
Most, if not ALL community members will refuse to believe the game has any bias to it. Most of the community are window-licker grade humans. Their main claims against the very notion that the game is biased is quite simple.
- Lack of resources.
Not knowing much of the Boeing L-100 Flying-Dildo probably means that it is the least powerful plane ever conceived and the engineers whom made it are complete retards, right? This idea is generally used to dismiss how neglected one tree is in-comparison to another. This is usually bullshit, as it is pathetically easy to find schematics, specifications, and even the history of aircraft, if you use something no man has ever used before.
- Calling you uneducated.
Not very common, but still used to ensure you look like a retarded faggot for believing a tree should be larger or a plane less powerful. Usually combined with the beta arguement.
- Crying "The game is only in beta, guiz!1!1!!one!1one"
More-so common than being called a retard, you will see this - attempting to rationalize the huge amount of bias by claiming the game is only in beta. The game could be in release and yet it is doubtful the developers would give a single fuck about your wishes, as anything but the Soviet Onion has no priority to them.
The answer? No. None of them speak English. Usually nobody even speaks once. It is proper to make the assumption that Candlejack has gotten their hand... OH SHI-. Nobody on any server cluster seems to speak fucking English. You will usually see the chat box completely empty except for cyrillic spam in the team-messaging system.
Gaijin Entertainment itself
Being a challenger to WarGaming
As all of you should know, War Thunder is a challenger to the god-awful series of World of War-arcade-spunkgargleweewee-planes made by Belorussian developer Tardgaming.
War Thunder is a copy of their concepts and ideas, originally called World of Planes, but instead of taking years to make a single tank - Gaijin was atleast capable of pulling their asses together to combine all forces together into one game while still being tenfold better than the WarGaming franchise.
Most fanbois of Tardgaming tend to insult the gamers of War Thunder and 1000 times vise-versa (which is understandable, have you ever looked into the fucking WoWP forums, jesus christ). Wargaming fanboys obviously have no taste in games and Gaijin is an idea-thief to them. However, the hateful community at Gaijin also returns fire every other week in much larger numbers over YouTube comments, as more people play this fucking game in comparison to Wargaming's slack-jawed dreck.
Most people will immediately flock to Gaijin's defense claiming their game is superior (Which it IS, the developers still are biased assholes.), and calling all of Tardgaming's community a gaggle of illiterate fucks. World of Warplanes sucks, the game is so bad that no ED article is further needed to disect it.
Since War Thunder has no real competition, World of Warplanes went into full damage control & censoring mode to keep atleast a handful of dumbfucks that enjoy games worse than cancer. The running Alpha of WoWP was no different from the final release.
On the "release day" of World of Warplanes, Tardgaming's planes spin-off, a fat nerd and some hideous skank advertised the game on Twitch.tv, spewing out shit like: "I think these planes have historical health". Many facepalms were had and lots of aviation nerds / War Thunder fanboys started raiding the chat with legitimate questions such as: <message deleted>, <message deleted> and also <message deleted>.
Since WarGaming were so nice with replying after just 2 seconds to each of their commenters in the chat, Tardgaming was rewarded with ASCI dicks & War Thunder advertisement. They also prematurely closed the stream, but not before ending it with one of their terrible render trailers that basically resembles more of the gameplay of WT than of WoWP, making them look like total assclowns.
People were extremely mad about why Wargaming didn't try to combine the three games (WoT, WoWP, WoWS), thus leading to even more text chat permabans even after the stream ended. Lot's of jimmies were rustled. There have been approximately a dozen moderators at work to hide any evidence of a better game being made outside of Belorussia. But hey guys, don't forget, the first player who buys the first level 10 plane gets 10 years of PREMIUM, totally worth it!
Dogfighting with about 600km/h through small street gaps. US Navy fighters in North Africa. Planes completely vaporize through MG fire.
- Maybe WarGaming would have been better off if they just hired the studios that made all this fake CGI render shit to develop their actual games.
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