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Warframe is a garbage pay to win game on Steam, PS4, and hexbox1, it's top on Steam because the gameplay is barely serviceable and makes you feel kewl for killing canon fodders. There is absolutely no semblance of challenge in this shit, you might as well be a retarded monkey with a mouse, if you are playing defense, you literally need to only press 3 while your other teammates literally need to press 4, I am not fucking you, that's the extent of the "GAMEPLAY" and the only variation in gameplay you were ever going to get other than playing the same repetitive maps over and over again is to switch characters or "Warframes" because it is as superficial as the gameplay. Go press 1234 to win, despite advertised to be about space ninja, there is no fucking stealth gameplay at all.
It's a pointless garbage farming simulator that awards you practically nothing but your disappointment in your miserable life after you are done.
Apparently, it's developer and fans worship some whore known as Rebbeca, who voice acts another shit superficial character in the game for no reason at all.
TL;DR There is no story you need to care about other than farming for the latest prime weapons and frames.
Set in the distant future, where you play as a space ninja with amnesia who has to pilot ugly as fuck super suits called wireframes because the devs in charge of character design are fucking retarded. Go figure out how the vagina and dicks work on their fucking gendered "Wireframes".
They are also called Tenno (because they want their shit to sound Japanese because ninja, btw PRO TIP: ending the word with "O" is probably scientifically proven to make your race sound unbelievable.) and they fight against the Grineer, which are basically fugly clone troopers that can actually aim, the corpus a bunch of greedy jews that use robots and worship money, the infected which are just monsters from dead space, and the corrupted, roided up versions of all three found in old ass towers built by the Orokin, a dead faction the Tenno and every other faction descended from with distinct a fetish for pimp gold, and finally the sentients a group of OP mining robots the Orokin made that adapt to anything but the deus ex machina know as the void, the source of the tenno's power.
In an extremely lulzy update, they decided to give the game some fucking story beyond "buy platinum", to explain wtf a Warframe is. Turns out its a fucking golem made of zombie flesh controlled by biologically immortal emo 12-year-olds, who constantly drop the worst one-liners known to the universe. It's like it's their first day on the job, 24/7, and they haven't been doing the same shit since the game came out 3+ years ago. This game has been in "beta" and still is for some retarded reason, and is used as an excuse whenever something goes horribly wrong.
Literally, no one gives a fuck about story update, they still do it, even though all the faggots that play this game wants is the next faggoted OP mentally challenge frame, then getting it's prime afterward because they have no fucking life.
Important characters you might want to care about
You - You were some kid who after was raped by the void, become a psi user that mind control warframe to kill shit. The people who created you later betray you and left you in the stasis chamber for 9000 fuck years. Now that you have woke up, you are guided by your mummy to kill even more shit who either wanted your flesh, your warframe or your credits.
Vor - A slightly important fucks of some space commie group run by a bunch of physically challenged people. He wants to rape your warframe but you killed him later, only to resurrect and become the meme of a very long shit post.
Vay Hek - Kim Jong Un of the warframe. A floating robot chicken head who is angrey.
—Corrupted Vor's shitpost
Content everyone hates, but gets forced to play
This lulzy update and playing through the story replaced the "I kill you"-Stalker with "You kill me"-Stalker, and added the ability to press a new button (5). This will make your so-called Operator jump out your Warframe-Space-Condom, running around until hit once by a stray bullet. How original.
DE uses this as a forced method of play for their content called "Plains of Eidolon", which is known for two things: Fishing and killing a bullet sponge called somewhat irrelevant. You know when you see it. It drops another farmable shit you need to skill your inner angsty teen, which repeats the same sentences over and over and over until you untick "Operator voice" in the sound options.
Did I mention "Archwing", yet? It's a wannabe StarFox clone, where you fly around in space along the 3D-Axes and shoot shit. The only place to find Tellurium, to force players to play it. PROTIP: Play on Uranus, as the submarine Grineer faggots can drop Tellurium. You can thank me later, to be able to skip shit Archwing for that.
The game's forums are known to be full of faggots who want to nerf all the things and scam you out of your plat in trade.
The community went even more cancerous than it already was thanks to the addition of relays, an area where dozens of players can gather. Because Digital Extremes is too cheap to hire actual moderators to watch these places, the cheap labor is filled by fat basement dwellers that suck DE's dick in a whim, also known as Guides of the Lotus.
Since there is literally no substances in gameplay, people try to find their worth in who has the best cosmetics and is willing to go to great length to buy garbage vaulted frames at astronomical prices, spending real-life dough from working in McDonald to boost their virtual worth.
Digital Extremes really did not think about the consequences of adding a public lobby in an otherwise fast-paced game. Now 13-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls sit in the middle of these relays to do nothing but show off how 1337 their gear is 24/7, while at the same time sucking the dicks of GotLs in a similar manner to how GotLs suck the dicks at DE, essentially creating a chain reaction of dicksucking.
Relays are big giant hugboxes, as the basement dwellers that sit in these relays all day instead of actually playing the game are easily offended, and attempts to troll these potential lolcows are deterred by the GotLs that have the power to kick trolls.
- Mogamu - Most likely high every time he makes videos due to the absurd amount of errors he makes. These include saying "dual pistol machine guns," constantly runs toward the wrong console when you can simply press Esc to go straight to the correct one in the main menu.
- DKDiamantes - "subatomic bacteria and germs" Fuckbuddy of the next one on the list.
- Quiette Shy called Quiet Shy now - Some mute that uses forced memes the wrong way to have an unfunny attempt at humor while ranting about how shitty the newest weapon is. Has a cult of Handfetishists following, who wants to get their "joystick" cleaned. Didn't do a face reveal, cause her fan base would fap to her face instead of her hands, as if porn was hard to find these days.
Her former Channel was banned due to "Copyright", lol.
- Tactical Potato - Angry Irish man, no one cares.
- AGGP - Can't go 3 seconds without making an unfunny gay penis joke and acts like a nutjob on Twitter or live. Diseased by SJW and USI.
The Unbannables (+Drama)
The aforementioned YouTuber nonames are protected directly under DE, as they ALL are some kind of a "Minority".
- Mogamu is a nigger
- DKDiamantes seem to be the fuckboy of Quiet Shy as if he didn't deserve better.
- Quiet Shy is a damn mute and a woman. +2 Victim Points
- AGGP is so fucking cringe-gay, it hurts.
If you happen to have an argument with either of them, they deal Victim Cards SJW-Style. Followed by the usual SJW homophobe/blah blah. But, all of them use methods they should be banned by now according to ToS/CoC/EULA, which includes Account Sharing (AGGP), death threats (Mogamu) and threats and insults (Quiet Shy). But they aren't. As they sucked dick at DE so hard, they became friends with the DEVs, which allows them to do anything they want. You accuse them, you get banned. If support finds a second account of yours, it's gone, too. All of them don't take criticism as well. Try to troll them, you will see.
How to get banned
Since DE releases their own game instead of searching for a proper distributor, their fame went to their heads really quick as there is no one slapping their face for misbehaving. Since their office is located in Canada, they suffer the same mental disease as SJW and acting "Suspicious" will get you banned real quick. Here are a few methods of getting banned.
- Being too good - As if surviving 7 hours in one single Mission wasn't boring enough.
- Writing "RevXDev" in the chat during live streams on Twitch will result in the message being deleted.
- Writing "Trap" in global chat can get you a chat kick, followed by a 3 day chat ban. PROTIP: Ask "What is Nezha's Gender?" in Chat. Chances are of the ones who want to reply with "It's a trap" gets chat banned.
- Trading Items - No shit. If you trade items with an account who was somehow breached, YOU will get banned. You can try to appeal the ban, resulting in the account you traded with gets banned. Or they perma-ban your ass with no explanation why.
- Call the devs "Messy" in the forums
- Name any of the YouTubers mentioned on this Article appropriately, this will trigger SJW-Mode on DE, banning you outright. You aren't even safe when you are an asslicking Guide of the Lotus. You can get even banned for being Pro-Trump.
- Negative Platinum - If you play Warframe like Monopoly, you will encounter that sooner or later. If you get Platinum over "unauthorized methods" (Whatever those shall be), DE subtracts this invalid Plat from your account. If you were at Zero already, it pushes you in the negatives. If you let that balance too long on the negative, they ban you. You can avert that by buying overpriced Plat from (((DE))). Well played.
There is no fucking gameplay other than farming. Nothing can go wrong if you press from 1-4.
Unless you are mentally challenged and don't know how to use a mouse, you can literally hold left click and drag it around until you kill something. The only reason this game has a co-op is for you to show off how cool you look while literally doing fuck all. Most of the creative decisions made to gameplay are borderlines fucking pointless, but if you do want to experience nihilism and the emptiness of your life, play this garbage.
Robotic space ninjas you can play after 5000 hours of farming:
Even after all that shit about how non-existent their gameplay mechanic is, they try to compensate with shit and OP 1234 characters with no depth at all because, for some unknown reason, some characters are favored more than the other because ???
- Excalibur - was reworked, press 3 to win and 4 for a shitty glowing sword as if you didn't have a melee weapon at all.
- Ash - press 4 to win (not anymore, lol)
- Limbo aka. Bimbo - press all the number keys, realize none of your skills are useful then kill yourself. Can be used to troll the fuck out of people, when wasted time to learn his shit.
- Rhino - press 2 then 4 to win, gets one-shot in PvP or against Level 100 enemies, even after pressing 2.
- Loki - press 2 for master race
- Trinity - give the rest of your team rimjobs because that's all healers are good for
- Nekros - you are a robotic mall goth and you die in 1 bullet
- Nyx - your crazy ex, press 3 to drive everybody mad then watch them all shoot each other
- Hydroid - press 4 for tentacle bukkake. Used by Hentai faggots.
- Frost - press 3 to win and afk in defense missions
- Inaros - Forget you have no shields and die
- Octavia - activate all your powers and start teabagging to the sound.
- Titania - press 4 and start being a mosquito.
- Nova - press 4 and pray, if you didn't die one hit.
- Mesa - press 4 then spray and pray
- nidus - spam 2+1 if you somehow start to die press 3, 4 if your really fucked
- Saryn - A Warframe ridden with STD. Press 1 to give Herpes to an enemy, shoot at the Herpes to explode and spread the love to everyone. Repeat, it's OP now. Press 3 to add AIDS to your Melee and 4 for a massive wave of Ebola.
- Nezha - Dunno, it's a Trap, ask in chat.
- Mirage - Some Harley Quinn copypasta which can blow up important ammo packs for lulz, divide into 4 clones for orgies and shoot a gay Discoball for the Highscore. Just press the button for the most obvious skill. The orgy one.
- A bunch of other faggots nobody cares about
Nothing. And the occasional bugs, lags, and kicks.
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