Long ago, an unlikely hero came to ED, looking for lulz. In those days, he was simply known as Wattage, but by the end of his tenure here with us, he would come to be known as General Wattagecat. Winner of the coveted Vox Dramatica award, scourge of YouTube, seasoned wiki-vandal, and all around troll-of-all-trades, he left his mark by cutting a swathe of destruction and butthurt on every website he visited. His magical giggle still echoes through these hallowed halls to this very day.
The MySpace Adventures
Wattage's first big troll was an excursion to MySpace where he set up an account for the downy sockfarmer Cyndre, and proceeded to message other MySpace users on Cyndre's behalf. His message was usually a simple one, like so:
The responses he got ranged from "You're a sick bastard" to "dude, u'r one of the few people who talk sense!!!". He hit up everybody he could find, even private profiles (which added to the confusion as to how he saw their tits).
Eventually this led to another great lolcow, DangerDan. DangerDan was a friend of one of the girls that Wattage messaged, and he was extremely offended to find out that JEWS DID 911. He started making threats, and eventually challenged Wattage to come fight him at his school.
Then DangerDan got doxxed by Wattage and he suddenly lost all his bravery. He deleted his MySpace, only to have it resurrected by Wattage minutes later (since that URL was now available). Seeing how the first MySpace Adventure went so well, Wattage applied the same formula to DangerDan, and began messaging people on MySpace on his behalf, this time with tough guy's dox all over the profile.
The YouTube Civil War
But everything Wattage had done in the other realms was just leading up to his greatest accomplishment: The YouTube Civil War. Prior to his arrival on the scene, YouTube trolling was, for the most part, limited to snarky comments on videos and channels. Wattage changed the face of YouTube forever by vlogging against the vloggers. With the element of surprise he successfully trolled the shit out of many popular, and up-and-coming, vloggers.
It all started with
, a lesbian who had made a video BAWWWWWing about The Ronald McDonald House refusing to take her bears "because she was gay". It was around this time Wattage would append cat to his name in the manner of Zionistacat.
Wattage had a simple mission: reduce vlogging on YouTube. He would start his mission alone, telling Patti to quit crying over nothing. This single act would gain him the e-hate of 20 white knights. Seeing this unfairness, EDiots would join in. General Wattagecat, with help of Lt. General Romantic and Rear Admiral Eppigy, used their soldiers to the best of their ability, banishing their haters to LiveVideo. Wattage and Co. would endure death threats and face some of the worst examples of mankind: vloggers who took the internet way too seriously. Their sacrifices will always be remembered.
Reliable sources report that Wattage has since left ED to be more religious, which is crap as many ED sysops totally dig the Christ. Others have suggested he's just doin it for the trustfunds. Remember him for what he was, not for how he is. He's enjoying his time in Sysop Valhalla.
Accomplishments at a glance
- Created Cyndre/Myspace Adventure, perhaps the funniest page on ED
Caused ED's coverage ofFUCKING MADE YouTube
- Killed countless vlogging fucks, improving youtube for the entire internet
- Introducing Alex "Romantic" Temple to ED
- Being fat as fuck
- Training many aspiring EDiots to improve the internet we hold so dear
Drama and Lulz Portfolio
- Cyndre/Myspace Adventure
- Rob Levin
Wattage is part of a series on YouTube.
|Featured article May 18, 2010|
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Everybody Draw Mohammed Day / Nightclub