wikiHow, the bastard child of Wikipedia and Yahoo Answers, is a wiki whose alleged purpose is to provide reference style descriptions and instructions on how to do various things. However, its real aim is to confuse and mislead the good folk of the internet through bad, confusing or pointless advice and over complicated instructions. It is so far spectacularly successful, generally decreasing a reader's intelligence through the false pretense of wanting to educate, while offering gems like how to fucking breathe. In fact, wikiHow does not actually contain any useful articles (all interesting or semi-useful entries get speedily deleted), but is rather full of obvious information like how to eat a cherry or how to make a sandwich. Hilariously, the site is run as a for-profit company, making it a business whose fortunes rely heavily on the volunteer work of thousands of well-meaning but clueless wikiHow users and a small handful of underpaid employees.
The elite few who do know how to do such complex tasks as ring a doorbell write really nice articles about how to do it so that you (you, obviously being an uneducated fool deprived throughout life of even the simplest knowledge of human culture) will know too.
wikiHow editing originally became popular about 100 years ago (in wikiTime), when it became clear that the website was not going to create itself and was going to require a large amount of volunteer labor. Common games played were giving awards to people for making one or two nice articles, congratulating people for contributing vandalism to the site, and giving forum parties to people who had made a couple dozen edits.
20th July 2009
Never really attaining its goal of being a catalog of helpful step-by-step guides and how-to knowledge, wikiHow has settled into the only niches that its editors can fill; pointless bullshit, terrible video-game tips, and random nonsense that nobody's ever going to need. So in addition to those invaluable guides on how to eat cheese, expect a lot of articles with titles such as "HOw 2 pWn teH n00bz in Halo LOLZ!" Oh wait... actually, there really are multiple articles on that.
WikiHow: The Game
A fun way to pass the time is to try to find the most obscure, useless, or completely WTF articles on wikiHow and continually try to best yourself. Also fun when played with others in forums or web communities. Or when drunk. Some good starting points:
- How to sharpen a pencil
- How to cross the street
- How to point
- How to read a book
- How to practice nudity in your family
- How to breathe
- How to stop your boyfriend from playing World of Warcraft
- How to be better than your younger sister
- How to drop off an unwanted baby
- How to open a bottle of water
- How to trick people into thinking you're possessed
- How to auction your dead body to the best bidder
- How to shower using a lemon
- How to bathe in a sink, river, or bucket
- How to urinate standing up as a female
- How to Tell a Girl You're Ready for Sex when You Have Asperger's Syndrome
- How to Get a Man (for Gay Men)
- How to hide an erection
- How to avoid getting AIDS
- How to Avoid Hurting Insects
When dealing with trolls
- How to deal with an internet troll
- How to avoid being an internet troll
- How to recognize a troll on the internet
Filled with only top-notch writing, of course.