Wikiwarfare

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typical day in the life of a sysop
Reality

Wikiwarfare is what happens when a bunch of fags with no life begin fighting with each other over Wikis. The bastard child of the flame war and edit war, it has grown in popularity since the invention of— obviously— Wiki and of, even more obviously, Encyclopedia Dramatica. The WikiWar is one of the few wars that isn't dependent on a vast amount of completely irrelevant history. So these are the tips to follow when involved in this kind of internets wiki conflicts.

How it works[edit]

  1. Prima makes a satirical post about Secunda complete with exaggerations, witty turns of phrase, and - of course - utter, utter lies.
  2. Secunda, either because they are a humorless trout who can't laugh at themselves or because they were sexually abused by a clown as a child, becomes angry and feels the need to 'correct' the article by deleting nearly all of it and replacing certain bits with self-inflating rubbish.
    1. Prima may choose to replace Secunda's "corrections" with even more inflammatory, yet incredibly funny, satire. This will cause Secunda to redact even more, and thus the War is On.
    2. Prima may just whinge about it. This is the standard course of action of GerbilSage.

Why war?[edit]

  1. Why not war?
  2. Wars easily start, and never end. Look at fucking Iraq
  3. So you might want to start one on someone before someone throws one upon you!
  4. As long as you keep yourself anonymous you're okay!
  5. Don’t seek for peace when you lose the anonymathum momentum in a lapsus Brutus, by that time it will be over for you
  6. Fuck the innocents!!!
  7. For the LULZ!!!
  8.  ????
  9. Profit!!


   
 
If a man doesn't strike first he will be the first struck.
 

 
 

—Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Offensive Actions[edit]

Please note: None of this will work on ED, because ED literally wrote the article on how it is done. And if you get your ass arrested for doing something like posting up porn on a children's wiki please let us know about it before you get V&

Web vandalism: beat the shit out of the other wikis by adding disgusting pics, altering the facts in their articles and overloading their pages with nonsensical links to unrelated pages. Also screw all you can before getting banned. And if the war is serious business, make sure you have more than one account to extend your time line of vandalism.

Propaganda: make sure that before you get banned, you've left lots and lots of propaganda and links containing information about your mother page.

Gathering data: make sure to create vast amounts of anonymous blogs and LiveJournals, etc., and befriend everybody you consider or suspect to be harmful, and spy on their journal. Participate in their forums just to know what the enemy is up to.

Distributed Denial-of-Service Attacks: this tactic consists into deleting all information as possible that is related with the system operation so that the system can fake away from the hands of the users. This tactic is very hard tough, and is likely to be the atomic bomb in the wiki wars.

Equipment disruption: if it happens that you know somebody, IRL, who edits the enemy wiki, make sure you accidentally break his/her iPod; they will cry. With the inevitable suicide of a Wikipedia user, we see their geek hordes dwindle— one an hero at a time.

Attacking critical human infrastructure: this tactic is critical to achieve easily the elimination of users; for example, in this tactic you make sure you hack the password of important members and mess with their profiles to allow their egos to overtake them and spend more time fixing their profiles than fighting for their wikilands.

False Flag Operation: This is low, but it will work. Go onto any wiki and write an article longer than a stub but not so long that it takes up too much of your time. Make it about 4chan, ebaumsworld, or any site with a large fanbase. Either write the article to bash said group or to promote it in such a retarded way that it could be seen as offensive. Now go back to said site and show them the article. You will soon see results!

See it coming[edit]

To recognize an incoming war, just use the old Jedi powers and feel the Force. If you think a war is coming, make the first attack. If you think your enemies think that you're thinking of attacking, attack!!! And if you think you did something that got your enemies thinking you are going to attack, they are probably planning a wikiwar right now. So attack. If everything is peaceful, it's probably because the other wikis are making an alliance against ED, so be a good ED citizen, and throw a jihad on the galactic confederation of wikis.

Using the spies[edit]

You almost never get to be face to face with the enemy thus the primordial tactics and methods of action are the use of spies.

   
 
Foreknowledge cannot be elicited from ghosts and spirits.
 

 
 

—Sun Tzu, The Art of War

So make sure that nobody under your repertoire of low life loser friends are anonymous. Make sure you have enough information about your people to extort and blackmail them in case if they turn back on you. That will be your back up.

  • Local spies: the entire nationalist gang of truly loyal sysops in this page gather information of users such as Sceptre just for the pleasure of it. And they don’t care if their reputation gets damaged in the maneuver.
  • Internal spies: For internal spies, we use the enemy's officials. Such as Sceptre, even though he was not accepted as an administrator because of the rumor that he was working for us. Note: they denied his admin application to make us believe he was actually working for us and that they knew it— but in reality, he was working as a double spy for Wikipedia, against us, but we knew it and they didn't know that we knew that they knew. Now the bitch is pwned for espionage. When we use him as dead spy giving him the notice that the wikislut article was going to be erased and former apologizes were going to be given by ED to all the victims. When the wikipedians found out this was a scam (and some of them are still waiting for the apologies), they pawned his ass from espionage.
  • Double spies: these are the ones that were sent here to delete articles by Phaedriel, but that got bored of the unfunny other wikis, and are willing and able to vandalize and gather information for ED because they just realized that Phaedriel is too busy pleasing 13 year old boys and has no time to make a user page for them. If you find a spy, make sure you give him the proper treatment in order to turn him/her in to ED sympathizer.
  • Dead spies: the double spies we retire from service by giving them erroneous information to be sent and intentionally intercepted by the enemy.
  • Living spies: these are the ones we are planning to use the most; thus we will not reveal neither their use nor their tactics. And if you are a wikipedian, know for sure he is spying on you. Srs business.

Recognize them[edit]

How to recognize a spy (for example Wikichan one): It's easy! Just check the users that have made the most modifications to articles related to lolicon, then befriend them on myspace and ask them what they think about wikichan.

The same rule applies to other wiki spies. Just change the question. For example, ask about Phaedriel and you will clearly recognize the Wikipedia spies, and so on with all the wiki members. Within the wiki, wookiees (better known as Scientologists or Lukas lovers) can be recognized because instead of a "good bye", they say "may the force be with you" at the end of a conversation.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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