|This user was willing to die for the lulz... and did.|
—San Juan County Sheriff Ken Christesen
This loser never scored.
|Born||March 18, 1996|
|Occupation||ED sysop, basement dweller|
|High score||Killed 2 (did worse than Randy Stair)|
|Top 50?||Lol no|
|An Hero?||Yes, self-pwnd after being thwarted by a couch|
William Edward Atchison (also known by his uncreative aliases AlGore, Vance Stone, FuckYou, MrApophis, and SatanicDruggie) was an Encyclopedia Dramatica admin and pasty-faced little runt of a manlet, edgelord, and Freckle Chan's suspected cousin who shot up a school in Aztec, New Mexico on December 7, 2017. Atchison presumably aimed for the high score, but was only able to drop two noobs before becoming an hero.
Bill's long, slow descent into madness began when he joined Encyclopedia Dramatica at the age of 11. Fast forward to a decade later, he was so drained of the will to live or accomplish anything that he decided to carry out a school shooting, just like the many he had obsessively worshiped and cataloged in ED articles. His dreams of attaining immortality were tragically shot down by the fact that he was a useless pussy who couldn't even get past a sofa barricade held by an elderly woman, just as he had secretly feared all along. Thus, this article is entertaining in a way Bill didn't want, but definitely deserved for pulling such a failed stunt.
Let's hope that there's WiFi in Hell so William can read this.
Having been born on March 18, 1996 in Aztec, it is likely that William grew up in a trailer with a white trash background just like every other white devil in the state. In high school, he was a loner, wearing a trenchcoat to school everyday just like his idols, and inevitably got picked on for wearing a trenchcoat in the hot ass desert shithole where he lived. Too dumb to graduate from high school, he ended up working at a gas station, and frittering away his meager Jewgolds on buying FPS gaymes, Doritos, and poor quality drugs. He certainly never saved up enough to lose his virginity to one of the state's many affordable, fuck-for-a-buck, Mexican or Injun whores, which no doubt increased his fears that he was deeply homosexual. Or perhaps he didn't save up for a ride because he knew his pindick wouldn't respond, exposing him to further humiliation.
On the other hand, or Willy's other girlfriend as it came to be, he did display some initiative by managing to scrape together enough from his pocket-money wages to buy a Glock from a licensed dealer some time in 2017 (not that it makes much of a difference seeing guns are as accessible in New Mexico as alcohol and STDs). A new 9mm Glock costs at least $400 and probably more like $550. That's half a grand that Atchison could have used to improve his life. Some IT studies to bolster his résumé? A second-hand car, to widen his job prospects? A reasonable whore and half-a-dozen points of chang, with change left over for Taco Bell and a wasted weekend on the beer?
Eventually, he gave up completely on trying to have a meaningful life or find a girlfriend/hooker, and instead settled for becoming a sexless fedora-tipping brony/furfag who shitposted on /pol/, eventually becoming a sysop on ED.
—Suicide note, completely avoiding any responsibility for his own shitty situation and ripping off another failure. Note that the dutiful prole literally planned to work until the day he died (see note above).
With his plan jeopardized by the child in front of him, he shot and killed the student and ran out into the hallway, desperately searching for another victim. After picking off a second stranded target he sought out a classroom to hold hostage, but got cucked when he discovered a sofa was placed in his path.He rightfully killed himself in shame as the police surrounded him and he came to the realization that he was actually more pathetic of a manchild than Randy Robert Stair.
Suffering from the tism and never able to make friends irl, Atchison spent
the majority ALL of his time running around online constantly screeching "NIGGER" and "KILL YOURSELF" and all sorts of other tired, unimaginative nonsense. Even in more pedestrian level forums, the "shock" value of his pedantic alt-right wannabe parroting always wore thin pretty quickly.
He was not liked by anyone and his presence was only ever tolerated when he could be put to work as an online janitor, cleaning up wiki pages like ED. That was really the only useful purpose he ever served online and it was his one outlet of self-importance and he felt a great deal of virtual control by editing wiki sites like ED and as such routinely abused his position of imagined power by uploading thousands upon thousands of unironic white supremacist propaganda and meandering hate screed against niggers, Jews, SJWs and pretty much anyone not of the overly cuntservative cracker ass persuasion. Once this began to booze on out of control, several ED admins took to the forums to voice their concerns with the way he was basically fucking up everything on the site.
On Steam, Atchison would befriend Ali David Sonboly (and consequently contributed to his ED page more than anyone else) in between leaving edgy reviews on video games such as Wolfenstein and Hatred, getting himself v& for cheating in online matches.
Meanwhile on Kiwi Farms he was also a largely unknown poster. He attempted to get in good graces with the staff, probably hoping he could get sysop on their own wiki much as he did here on ED. One of his last few posts involved thirsting after fellow failed mass shooter, Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath.
William left a lot of evidence for people to find after he killed himself, including his numerous online profiles. The following are publicly-known as of February 2019:
- Main YouTube channel. Now terminated.
- - Alternate YouTube channel.
- - Alternative YouTube channel, #2.
- - Alternate YouTube channel, #3.
- - Alternate YouTube channel, #4.
- - Alternate YouTube channel, #5.
- Bob8466. - YouTube channel with his videos uploaded a day before the shooting. Named after
- - Oldest YouTube channel known, created in November of 2008. Primarily focused on Blockland.
- Valve). (Archived: ) (SteamRep) - Main Steam account. Now removed (most likely by
- El Digato - Xbox Live gamertag.
- mr.apophis - Skype account. (N.b., naming himself after an asteroid predicted to wipe out humankind)
- W A#5977 - Discord account.
- Wikia that was set up for himself. Has Eminem lyrics.
- 2008, 2013, and 2014.
- Blogger that was set up in 2008. Complaining about his family, has posts from
- Blogger account (Archived: )
- one photo. (Archived: ) - Imgur account, to which he only uploaded
- (Complete file)) - LiveJournal blog. Has 3 posts about depression (2016), and one post from 2015 with the 'insult' we all know and love. (Archived: 2:
- - Kiwi Farms account (Archived: )
- Lolcow Wiki account (Archived: )
- Minecraft Forum account (Archived: )
- Newgrounds account (Archived: )
- eldigato - Find A Grave account.
- William Edward “Vance Stone” Atchison - His memorial on Find A Grave.
- eldigato - e621 account.
- ChoSeungHui - account on Columbine-forum.
- FIBAgent - account on Columbine-forum.
- Stuck in a Rural Redneck town - Self-explanatory post, whining about the town he lives in, himself, and his family. (Archived: )
- Entry #16 - A 2016 Newgrounds post saying his goodbyes and once again, complaining. (Archived: )
|Kill count:||2/20 Did worse than Randy Stair|
|Accuracy:||5/20 Shot at a wall for two minutes|
|Style:||7/20 Disguised himself as a student to get inside|
|Butthurt:||2/20 School shootings are so common now that nobody noticed|
|Bonus:||-1/20 Couldn't even make it on the High Score leaderboard|
|Total Score: 15/100 (F-)|
See full ranking
- Basement dweller - But you guessed that already.
- Central Michigan University Shooting - An attempted mass school shooting that was as lame as Al's.
- Columbine - In your dreams, Al.
- Deceased Encyclopedia Dramaticans
- Gore - By name, and by nature.
- High Score - The page that he looked at every day, and now has the first entry you see in all his glory.
- Kiwi Farms - Another website where he tried to get people to notice him, failing to get it until his an hero.
- Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting - How usurping Harris and Klebold is done, Al.
- Mizhi County No. 3 Middle School Attack
- Pais, Sol - Someone with fewer kills than the couch cuck.
- Sandy Hook - Hahaha, no.
- Rodger, Elliot
- Sex - What could have prevented all this.
- Sonboly, Ali David - His friend who he used to troll with, also went amok.
- Stair, Randy Robert - Unlike William he managed to become famous in his death, and managed to get more kills.
- User:AlGore - Future criminologists, start here.
- Virgins (72) - Now upgraded to 73, including Al.
- GoFundMe for slain student Francisco “Paco” Fernandez (Archived: )
- YouCaring fundraiser for slain student Casey Jordan-Marquez (Archived: )
- GoFundMe started by Atchison's drunk and semi-literate father for "final (i.e., "funeral") expenses and qther (i.e., "other") costs." (Archived: )
- Atchison's nemesis: a 73-year-old woman armed with a comfy sofa (Archived: )
- Turns out the fail edgelord named himself after the second stage of decomposition (Archived: )
- The Daily Beast discusses his Internet presence, which includes this very website, and of course makes a complete pig's ear of it (Archived: )
- Local newspaper covers his life in school and some of his edgier comments online (Archived: )
- Family reaction to the shooting (Archived: )
- (Archived: )
- CONSPIRACY ALERT! - in Amalia NM, just three hours from Al's hometown, a terrorist cell that was training school shooters has been busted (Archived: )
- His autopsy report (Fukken saved) - the key finding is pictured below:
| William Atchison
is part of a series on
|William Atchison is part of a series on National Socialists|
Click topics to expand
卐 卐 卐
|Featured article December 14 & December 15, 2017|
| Preceded by
|William Atchison|| Succeeded by|
|Featured article September 27 & 28, 2018|
| Preceded by
Neil Gaiman's Sandman
|William Atchison|| Succeeded by|
Randy Robert Stair