William Atchison

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This page contains an hero.

NEVAR!!!! This user was willing to die for the lulz... and did.


   
 
He's not only a cowardly loser that probably never got laid, he was evil incarnate.
 

 
 

—San Juan County Sheriff Ken Christesen


#CouchCrew2k15 #TangoDown


William atchison ('AlGore').jpg
This loser never scored.
William Atchison
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
High score Killed two, did worse than Randy Stair
Top 50? Lol no
Style FPS, Singleplayer
An Hero? Yes, self-pwnd after being thwarted by a couch


William Edward Atchison, also known by the countless uncreative aliases AlGore, Vance Stone, FuckYou, MrApophis, and SatanicDruggie, was a pasty-faced little runt of a manlet and edgelord, also a suspected relative of Freckle Chan, who was responsible for a school shooting in Aztec, New Mexico on December 7, 2017, presumably aiming for the high score, but only being able to drop two noobs before an heroing. He began a long, slow descent into madness by joining Encyclopedia Dramatica at the age of 11.

Fast forward to a decade later, he was so drained of the will to live or accomplish anything that he attempted to carry out a school shooting like the many he had obsessively worshiped and cataloged in ED articles. His dreams of attaining immortality were tragically shot down by the fact that he was a useless pussy who couldn't even get past a sofa barricade put up by a elderly woman, just as he had secretly feared all along, which means his article is entertaining in a way he didn't want but definitely deserved for pulling such a failed stunt.

Background[edit]

Amazingly, this photo is not from The Onion.

Having been born on March 18, 1996 in Aztec, it is likely that William grew up in a trailer with a white trash background just like every other white devil in the state. In high school, he was a loner, wearing a trenchcoat to school everyday just like his idols, and inevitably got picked on for wearing a trenchcoat in the hot ass desert shithole where he lived. Too dumb to graduate from high school, he ended up working at a gas station, and frittering away his meager Jewgolds on buying FPS gaymes, Doritos, and poor quality drugs. He certainly never saved up enough to lose his virginity to one of the state's many affordable, fuck-for-a-buck, Mexican or Injun whores, which no doubt increased his fears that he was deeply homosexual. Or perhaps he didn't save up for a ride because he knew his pindick wouldn't respond, exposing him to further humiliation.

On the other hand, or Willy's other girlfriend as it came to be, he did display some initiative by managing to scrape together enough from his pocket-money wages to buy a Glock from a licensed dealer some time in 2017 (not that it makes much of a difference seeing guns are as accessible in New Mexico as alcohol and STDs). A new 9mm Glock costs at least $400 and probably more like $550. That's half a grand that Atchison could have used to improve his life. Some IT studies to bolster his résumé? A second-hand car, to widen his job prospects? A reasonable whore and half-a-dozen points of chang, with change left over for Taco Bell and a wasted weekend on the beer?

Eventually, he gave up completely on trying to have a meaningful life or find a girlfriend/hooker, and instead settled for becoming a sexless fedora-tipping brony/furfag who shitposted on /pol/, eventually becoming a sysop on ED.

Almost V&[edit]

A frequent visitor to Steam game discussions, our boy Willy was first investigated by the feds, both local police and FBI, back in 2014 or 2015 (by his account) when somebody reported his profile to fuck with him. There was hypocrisy here, as he frowned upon people saying the most depraved shit for shock value, but he participated in the same things he whined and bitched about others doing it himself.

In 2016, the dipshit made comments to other online gamers about carrying out a school shooting and which assault rifle was best suited to the task. Because of course, telling unknown numbers of complete strangers what you are planning is the perfect way to keep it secret. Unsurprisingly, the Feebs were on his doorstep pretty much immediately. Also unsurprisingly, Atchison pussied out of it by telling the G-Men that he was just trolling. Since he didn't have a gun of any kind, the lawmen decided he was just some stupid kid and posed no threat to anyone.

The shooting[edit]

School used COUCH! It's super effective!
   
 
Work sucks, school sucks, life sucks. I just want out of this shit.
 

 
 

—Suicide note, completely avoiding any responsibility for his own shitty situation and ripping off another failure
Note that the dutiful prole nonetheless literally planned to work until the day he died (see note above).



The shooting happened on the 7th of December, 2017. Atchison (known on Blockland as Sephiroth) entered Aztec High School disguised as a student and made his way to a 2nd floor bathroom where he was literally caught with his pants down by an actual student, causing Atchison to panic.

With his plan jeopardized by the child in front of him, he shot and killed the student and ran out into the hallway, desperately searching for another victim. After picking off a second stranded target he sought out a classroom to hold hostage, but got cucked when he discovered a sofa was placed in his path.

He rightfully killed himself in shame as the police surrounded him and he came to the realization that he was actually more pathetic of a manchild than Randy Robert Stair.

Loadout[edit]

He never foresaw the militarization of couches
Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Glock 19 Gen 4
GTA4IconsGlock-edit.png
  • 761 hours experience in CS:GO.
  • Thrown: Backpack
Backpack.png
  • Perfect camouflaged transportation for heat.
  • Perk 1: Ghost Pro
ATS Ghost Pro.png
  • Invisible against Spy Planes.
  • Spell: AE
Aeplaine.gif
  • Hundreds of hours editing & skimming School Shooting articles.

Online presence[edit]

The truth is out!
Making random death threats was like his way
of shaking hands with people on the Internets.
Algore's POV

Suffering from the tism and never able to make friends irl, Atchison spent the majority ALL of his time running around online constantly screeching "NIGGER" and "KILL YOURSELF" and all sorts of other tired, unimaginative nonsense. Even in more pedestrian level forums, the "shock" value of his pedantic alt-right wannabe parroting always wore thin pretty quickly.

He was not liked by anyone and his presence was only ever tolerated when he could be put to work as an online janitor, cleaning up wiki pages like ED. That was really the only useful purpose he ever served online and it was his one outlet of self-importance and he felt a great deal of virtual control by editing wiki sites like ED and as such routinely abused his position of imagined power by uploading thousands upon thousands of unironic white supremacist propaganda and meandering hate screed against niggers, Jews, SJWs and pretty much anyone not of the overly cuntservative cracker ass persuasion. Once this began to booze on out of control, several ED admins took to the forums to voice their concerns with the way he was basically fucking up everything on the site.

On Steam, Atchison would befriend Ali David Sonboly (and consequently contributed to his ED page more than anyone else) in between leaving edgy reviews on video games such as Wolfenstein and Hatred, getting himself v& for cheating in online matches.

Meanwhile on Kiwi Farms he was also a largely unknown poster. He attempted to get in good graces with the staff, probably hoping he could get sysop on their own wiki much as he did here on ED. One of his last few posts involved thirsting after fellow failed mass shooter, Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath.

Profiles[edit]

William left a lot of evidence for people to find after he killed himself, including his numerous online profiles. The following are publicly-known as of August 2018:

Forum Posts[edit]

  • Stuck in a Rural Redneck town - Self-explanatory post, whining about the town he lives in, himself and his family. (Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)
  • Entry #16 - A 2016 Newgrounds post saying his goodbyes and once again, complaining. (Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)

Videos[edit]

Galleries[edit]

Internet postings About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Internet reactions About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Shit he posted to ED in the month leading up to the attack About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Score[edit]

Graded score
Kill count: 2/20 - Did worse than Randy Stair
Accuracy: 5/20 - Shot at a wall for two minutes
Style: 7/20 - Disguised himself as a student to get inside
Butthurt: 2/20 - School shootings are so common now that nobody noticed
Bonus: -1/20 - Couldn't even make it on the High Score
Total score: 15/100 (F-)
Sofa cuck
See full ranking

Wanted Level:
___________________

Wantedstar.png

___________________

Wanted1mallcop.png


Mall Cop


See also[edit]

Confirmed: Satanist and Freemason
AndersenWilly.jpg

External links[edit]



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Featured article December 14 & December 15, 2017
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