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World of Longplays

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WoL Logo.png


   
 
Imagine if Let's Plays where extended to hours on end. And remove the mediocre commentary of that Let's Play to make it extremely boring, long, and a redundant piece of human resource. The result of all of that catastrophe, will be a typical example of a longplay. Now, take all of the steps and instate them on a bunch of games. And that's what World of Longplays does.
 

 
 

—Anonymous

World of Longplays (formerly YouTube Favicon.png cubex55), is a channel dedicated to longplays for games of all systems. Of course, its leader is a nazi who plays for the sake of receiving money on every longplay the group does. The monetization attempt has led to much butthurt amongst the longplay community, as the original leader decided to delete fucking everything before the group was able to restore their site.

How This Shit Works

The cubex55 channel was started by a Dutchman named Hipoonios and a fellow longplayer who called himself Ironclaw. Both men started the original site called Recorded Amiga Games in 2005. In 2006, the cubex55 channel was born to host the recorded longplays on YouTube. However, the two intrepid men started to realize that nobody outside of Europe gives a shit about the Amiga system. So, to get more viewers, they decided to start their World of Longplays site in 2008 to bring in other longplays from systems people know about.

However, after two years, like all Dutch do after smoking many joints in the coffee shop, Hipoonios decided to give away his site to a German longplayer who called himself, SCHLAUCHI. This would end up creating many lulz.

Seig Heil SCHLAUCHI

The site was now under the ownership of SCHLAUCHI ((Powerword: Gerhard Weihrauch)). Like every enterprising German, Gerhard had no knowledge of how to fix a website or work on any form of website at all. However, he knew the best way to acquire jewgolds from YouTube. As such, Gerhard took the entire site into his hands to acquire a fanbase of people who were too lazy to play the games themselves.

All the while, he maintained the World of Longplays site, which was becoming outdated and full of holes due to the fact that he was unable (or unwilling) to acquire an actual programmer to fix his site. So, you ask. Where did the money that fair Gerhard use go towards?

Generic Shitty 3rd Person Shooter!


   
 
This is SCHLAUCHI's version of the next big thing in video games!
 

 
 

The Jewgolds Heist!

Gerhard, hard at work, proclaiming his leadership.

With the site in his hands and control of the channel in his grasp, Gerhard was geared to move forward with his plan to acquire jewgolds. The reasoning given: longplaying is serious business. Our favorite German, with his video game attempt, had lost money and credibility within the gaming community due to how overrated the game actually was. With no money and no prospect for jobs, Gerhard and his group decided to come up with a plan to acquire money from YouTube. Like others who have followed the same plan...

The group devised a plan that the top longplayers of the group would get the money acquired from the revenue created by ads generated every time one of their fans accessed a video. The hope by the group is to acquire enough money from everyone viewing the videos so that nobody in the group would have to work ever again. Yet, there was a huge snag.

Hipoonios Returns

It seems not all was agreed to in World of Longplays land. As Hipoonios, in name, still had ownership of the site and of the YouTube channel, he also raised the biggest objections to the monetization of his YouTube channel. Like all good attention whores, Hipoonios decided to hack the World of Longplays site and YouTube channel to erase all videos. However, the group was wise to his methods and proceeded to change the YouTube password.

With all resources exhausted, Hipoonios went to the next best method in getting his former channel shut down, DMCA. The channel was shut down for a matter of a week. To which, the Longplay group scrambled to suck much YouTube cock to get their channel back online. The next month was spent reuploading videos or taking down videos from the longplayers who decided to abandon ship.

As this process was happening, the top longplayers of the site decided to get together on how to divide their ill gained YouTube money. The solution they came up with: The players with the most videos would get the money from the advertisements! The problem is, the top user was ol' Gerhard himself. However, they needed Hipoonios to go on board with the plan. Instead, the Dutchman used his powers of evil and hacked the site and forums. Many lulz were had as he trolled every admin on the site as they tried to explain the plan.

After two weeks of trolling, Hipoonios gave up and advised the group that his videos were to be removed, and he would claim them for his new site. With that in mind, Gerhard went forth to gain his money... Hipoonios, though, decided to kill his sites with a message.

Delete Fucking Everything!


   
 
Hipoonios keeping it classy...
 

 
 

The Aftermath

So far, Hipoonios has managed to stay offline, officially. As far as SCHLAUCHI goes, it seems he found enough money to repair the glaring holes that Hipoonios placed onto his site. Although, the dumb fuck couldn't do that right, either. With the site upgrades, the person paid to upgrade the new site lost the entire database for the site and forums. The process is still ongoing as most of the members who stayed away are coming back to find out that they can't access the site.

The Premise

The World of Longplays consist of various people around the world who play games from all systems. Of course, keep in mind you have to be close to an amateur filmmaker to live up to their high standards of having acceptable film quality for their site and YouTube videos. In other words, HD or bust, retard.

Because everyone on the World of Longplays is a complete and utter herp derp, all of the games are emulated. Mainly because can you really trust a Nazi with cords? Let's also mention that other longplayers aren't truly allowed out of their house without supervision.

On the plus side, this provides the ability of said longplayer to use manipulation and save states to provide the perfect game. With all things, you'll get a few purists who get pissy in the comments over the videos because they consider the usage of save states as cheating.

They Do It, Because You're Too Lazy To.

You can also notice that there's absoultely no talking in the videos, at all. Don't you wish Slowbeef and Diabeetus would do that instead of boring us with their hackneyed attempts at comedy with Retsupurae?

And of course, all of these games are perfectly acceptable to play without any copyright issues at all! Because the longplayers take no responsibility for making any real money from the people off of the videos they produce from the efforts of someone else's work, of course. It's totally legal...

How to Troll

As always, consult the manual before trolling.
Typical comment you'll see on one of their videos.

These guys regard their roleplaying as serious business. So, naturally, it's not going to be that hard to troll them. Even newfags can do it. So here's how:

  • Proclaim yourself FIRST in the comments.
  • Be a complete weeaboo like YouTube Favicon.png iniche and complain about stupid Americans getting translations of Japanese Contra wrong.
  • Argue with the longplayers about how they're cheating.
  • Ask them if ValisHD has shown them any pictures of his latest conquests.
  • Call them Americans.
  • If there's a French player, go with the old standard of acting like Gerhard and asking for his/her surrender.
  • DMCA them to high heaven.
  • Ask for Hipoonios to come back.

So many ways to troll this crew that you don't have to just follow this list entirely. Be creative in your trolling. And if you know any other language, then troll internationally.

The Idiots

These are your most frequent contributors amongst the World of Longplays crowd.

See Also

External Links

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