World of Tanks

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Actual gameplay footage

World of Stealth Tanks: Belarusian Boogaloo is a godawful Free-to-Grind Massive (nobody actually plays this) Mockery Online Game made by a shitty Belarusian company called Wargaming, aptly known as "Tardgaming" for many good reasons.

It is a game that can be regarded as "Call of Duty" for tanks, which is an accurate statement, as the developers have not even remotely studied history and it is doubtful they even know how to operate those tin cans. Like all the shitty Free-to-Play games, it has a spastic mongoloid fanboy community full of 13-year-old boys, with unbelievably broken and shit-tier gameplay, and of course the ever-present bias sprinkled into games made by White Russia and Russia to teach little Communists about their patriotic duty!

As a game that covers tanks, it displays the periods from 1920 (yes, the lower-tier tanks are metal boxes made in the 1920s) until 1960 (period known for the Vietnam War: Gooky Spooky Boogaloo, Part II.) Due to the general retardation of the community that inhabits this game, this article can deter any NORP's, or at the very least non-mongoloids from wasting their time and Jewgolds on the game.

This game features neither infantry, anti-tank cannons, landmines, or planes. After all, those silly things were never a threat to the almighty tanks.

Despite being as terrible as it is - it has earned honors. Bribing their way to victory to obtain two Golden Joystick awards basically has shown us how utterly worthless videogame awards have become.


The Gameplay[edit]

The most action-packed game of the century!!!


WoT has the worst kind of gameplay imaginable. It epitomizes shit. Shit could not do a better job of epitomizing itself even if it put forth the effort to do so.


Some of the features[edit]

  • The Game Modes

Random - Normal game with retarded teams with the occasional unicums carrying the team in platoons and shit. Has three game Modes that can be turned off because either the modes are retarded or the same map got picked five times in a row by the matchmaker.

  • Standard: Its normal game mode since day one. Two bases on either side, destroy or capture.
  • Assault: One side attacks, one side defends with a base on their side. Most world of tanks players still don't know the difference between attacking and defending.
  • Encounter: Standard mode with just one base at the center of the map. Impossible to win by capture, unless everyone playing is retarded and the game ends early by one person capturing.

Platoons - You can team up with your nerd friends or randoms in-game to strategically win randoms through voice. You can either choose the same tanks or completely different tanks.

Team Battles - If you joined some faggot clan, you have a better chance of winning these battles with a strategist calling it than with random people.

Tank Company Battles - Like Team battles but with bigger teams to pick than Team Battles, these battles died out due to the retardedly long wait times for every battle and were removed in an update and replaced by Team Battles.

Team Training - Here are where most of the shit community resides when they have devoted their entire life into collecting all the tanks, where they create rooms and suck each others sweaty tic tac sized dicks about how high their stats are. Some room owners name their training room to some made up game mode or chill room, where most people would just shoot it up just to get kicked off the training room by the faggot host that is either a kid or some neckbeard.

Special Battle - Some gay clan wars mode where you get tanks no one can get unless you're recruited into a sweaty unicum cult.

Grand Battles - 30 vs 30 cluster fuck with a bigger map than usual and only top tanks get to play. This mode is just for rich players to waste money on since it costs more money to repair a top tier tank.

  • The Hit Detection
What a great gaming community.

If you are a retard you might not have noticed, but this game has the worst hit detection ever witnessed. You can be hit through rocks, indestructible buildings, the ground, and mountains and still get your tank turret blown off sky high into the stratosphere.

Vanishing shells are not uncommon either. Don't be surprised when your 7.5cm high velocity armor piercing tungsten carbide shell suddenly disappears because it hit a tarp, picket fence, or car windshield. Also don't be surprised when you try to fire a shell over a pile of rubble just to have it explode in your face because the hitbox is twice as large as it should be.

Fortunately, you will rarely notice these faults, as shell dispersion in the game works in a way that guarantees your shots will almost never hit their intended target anyway.

  • The Engine

Anyone who's played computer games for more than an hour can tell you how graphics ought to work. Fast games look like crap, good looking games are slow and laggy. Somehow, World of Tanks manages to look like crap while still using the processing power of a game with actual graphics.

  • The Physics Engine
    Protip: it is physically impossible to flip a tank over in World of Tanks. Edit: They finally added physics, and now you can flip your tank by driving up against a wall or hitting a rock on the road

As Belarusians only grasp on physics is their experience driving tractors, the physics in this game are in no way realistic or reasonable. Tanks designed to ford rivers, climb over rubble, and wade through mud are left dead in their tracks by the fearsome might of small rocks, curbs, and any incline greater than 45 degrees.

THE GAME IS FINE, GUYS!
  • The Lag

All games suffer from latency, however World of Tanks is no typical game. The game is developed by vodka-laden drunks whose mud huts only have access to dial-up internet. Thus, the game is designed from the ground up to lag at any given opportunity.

  • The Sound Effects

If you're going to develop a game around tank combat, you'd probably think it's important to use better sound effects than Halo. Then again, if you're putting that much thought into it, then you really don't belong on the World of Tanks dev team.

Not to worry though, Wargaming has responded to the negative criticism of the sound effects by vowing to remove the ability to replace them with better ones.

  • The Matchmaking
    If you're ever dumb enough to beta-test this game, this is the sort of match you should expect to play over and over again (because games full of aspies in the same new tanks is the best way to test a game).

The matchmaking system is designed to determine what games your tank belongs in. Of course, this is what it's designed to do, and like many other things in the game that are designed to do certain things, it doesn't work. This fact becomes obvious when you're put into a game against tanks twice your size whom you have no hope of ever damaging.

Many players feel the matchmaking is rigged. While it's very likely that the matchmaking is designed to rig games, it's also very likely that it works just as well as any of the other features in the game (in other words, it's completely fucking broken).

  • The Spotting Mechanics

Rather than being visible all the time, enemy tanks are only visible to the player when the game's spotting system is OK with it. This leads to historically accurate situations like being shot at by tanks that are completely invisible.

There are a number of ways to ensure that you will never be spotted, allowing you to shoot away at enemies who have literally no way of defending themselves from you. A few of these ways include hiding behind bushes, paying jewgolds for pretty camo paint, and playing as any tank destroyer in the game.

  • The Maps

The philosophy behind maps in World of Tanks is quantity over quality. Wargaming has discovered that if you constantly release half-assed maps, eventually you'll get a few that don't completely suck. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  • The Pay-to-Win Ammunition

Certain types of ammunition cost actual money. As you probably could have guessed, these shells are far superior to any other ammunition in the game. This ammo is popular among kids who use daddy's credit card to make up for the fact that they're complete shit at the game.

  • The Reporting System

The game has an in-game reporting system that allows you to quickly report misbehaving players for a number of reasons. Of course, if you actually expect these reports to be read, you don't understand Wargaming. It's possible that at one point the reporting system worked and was used as intended, but Wargaming got sick of policing the thousands of annoying aspies that make up World of Tanks' playerbase.

  • The High-Explosive Shells

For those of you who don't frequent /k/, high-explosive shells are shells designed to explode on impact. They're great for taking out groups of enemy civilians, but not so great at taking out tanks. Unfortunately, Wargaming doesn't seem to understand the fact that shells which blow up on the outside of giant metal war machines aren't particularly effective at damaging what's inside them. Most of the "one-hit-kill" guns in the game are so because they fire high-explosive rounds with the explosive power of small nuclear warheads.

Lots of nice people play this game.
  • The Customization

Are you an individual? Of course you are! Why else would you be playing a mainstream game played by thousands of other like-minded idiots? For those who want to add a little individual flair to their tanks, the game offers a total of 10 boring camo skins to chose from. It's a great way to waste your money and to get attention from all the prepubescent boys playing the game.

  • The Uninstaller

The only feature you should really give a fuck about. At least you have this option, unlike EverQuest II.

Nations[edit]


This game features a wide variety of nations to choose from. Each are equally as effective, so long as you spend plenty of money on premium ammo.

The Russian, vodka-chugging drunkards of the game. Their tanks are made of concrete, reinforced with steel, strengthened with pure Stalinwood, and coated with spall liner made from the ground up bodies of dissidents. Russian tanks are indestructible leviathans which are nearly as slow as the people who use them. Most new players flock to Mother Russia's ample bosom to suck the milk of Communism from it and pretend that driving something that nobody can damage makes them good at the game.

Sounds about right.

The fat, lazy, ignorant, hopelessly lost faggots of the game. American tanks tend to be like the citizens that drive them - loud, oversized, slow, and hideously ugly. The American line is frequented by idiot patriots who blindly chose to play American tanks despite their overabundance of problems. The biggest problem is that they're are made of solid armor in the front, and aluminum foil everywhere else.

One of the claims to fame that the American tank line has is that it also contains the Canadian tanks (all 1 of them).

lol wut?

The pure, tall, fair-skinned, blonde-haired punching bags of the game. While the developers would very much like to make German tanks the smoldering piles of shit that they were, they need to appease the rabid, neo-nazi Girls und Panzer fans (also known as wehraboos) who pay for their hookers. As a result, German tanks half retarded, half ridiculously overpowered. Also, most of them feature frontally mounted transmissions, which means they catch fire easier than Jewish ghettos.

The nearly-toothless homosexuals of the game. Their tanks are pretty historically accurate, which means they're absolute crap. Luckily they get matched against tanks that are half their size. The British tanks start out as slow moving cannon fodder, but later turn into fast, thinly armored cannon fodder. Usually favored by pseudo-intellectuals, British tanks can often be found hiding behind tanks that are worth a damn.

  • China

The Chinese tanks, like everything else that comes out of China, are cheap knock-offs of other tanks. Unless you really want to see other tanks in green paint, the Chinese tanks are a waste of time. The only reason as to why anyone plays them is for the IS-2 ob'yekt 1944 with the cosmetic DShK, and chinks in the armor. Nobody respects Chinese players as they are not Koreans.

  • France

The French are the biggest punching bags in the game. The French tanks start out well armored, but are slow and have shit guns. Most player who try to play the French tanks usually surrender to the far superior Russians after the first few tanks. If you enjoy pain and stick with the French tanks, the post-war French tanks are much faster. This makes them great at charging the enemy and dying because post-war France forgot what armor is. Vive la France!

  • Japan

The community and developer's new punching bag, the Japs were added to World of Tanks in 2014. Japan starts off with a French tank instead of an original Japanese design and builds it's way up to huge METAL BAWKSES that are slow, have meh armor and guns, but the arty sure loves em. This allows historical accuracy and enables developer laziness simultaneously. When the community offered to design the tank tree for Wargaming, the drunken devs did the smart thing and completely ignored them. Now the community is preparing for China 2: electric boogaloo.

  • Czechs

Filthy slavs with shit-colored tanks to match. The tech tree is made up of one pathetic branch with three light tanks and then mediums only, up to tier X. Even the next and previous nations, Japan and Sweden have more tanks and at least two separate branches. Was implemented due to a few bitching Czechs and wargaming's desire to jew more money out of a semi-prosperous east-european dreckstaat.

  • Sweden

The pure blooded nordic tanks. Their destroyer line has a sige mode where the tank's suspension raises itself like a pimped-out nigga's ryda yo! The heavies naturally have autoloaders to facilitate better rage and bitching of non-autoloader peasants. Another trend that started with the Japs is the shittyness of anything below tier V, and the mediocrity of anything up to tier VIII, clearly, Wargaming expects you to give them your jew gold so you can use free xp to get to them sweet tier IX and X.

Classes/Roles[edit]

I WANT TO BELIEVE!

Sniper

Like any action game on the market, this one features a sniper role. Usually this role is reserved for people with useless tanks, that have shitty guns with decent penetration. Most people get the most butthurt whenever covering this role, because the tank cannot hold in combat, and it makes you look like the failure you are. Mostly Tank Destroyers are for this role, though tanks of some other types can be included.

  • SPGs fit into this role, as well, but those get their own section.

Assault Leader

These are the big, slow, burly beasts that sit at the front of your zerg rush and take shells for you like the good little window-licker he is. This is the least demanding role in the entire game. Naturally, Heavy tanks and some derp-machines on lower tiers are to be found in this class.

Support

Most support tanks are completely useless. They have horrible armor, horrible cannons, horrible speed, and usually a horrible user. Most people justify their existence in this game by "tracking" other tanks to piss them off, and keep them from running away like pussies. Mediums "excel" at this role, so you know which class to avoid.

Scout

Even more useless than support tanks, these small contrivances cannot attack other tanks due to how weak their guns are, cannot ram other tanks, cannot survive, will not survive, and will make the user kill himself in the most heinous way possible. Due to the laziness of "Tardgaming", there are still tanks that are not scouts - but get ruined in matchmaking regardless (Panzer 38(t) neuer-Art and the A-20.) Most Scouts charge head-long into battle, do no damage - spot tanks; but their team is too lazy to give enough of a damn to kill any of them. And top it all, new players have to endure playing these worthless tin cans for several hours.

Yes, these so called "scout tanks" are so bad, they can't even fight against other light tanks in the same tier, without dying instantly. Whenever Tardgaming was confronted about this, they did not give the community a reason as to why it was fixed, and probably never will.

Idler/Bot

The most useless role of all! The idler/bot-user. There is nothing wrong with doing this, as the game is a joke and the report system does not actually function. They occur often enough, but don't matter as you have already lost the game.

However, recent scientific breakthroughs in the field of cybernetic/AI cheating has produced an exciting new development. Specialised programs can now take control of your tank and fight your opponents for you, sometimes more efficiently and skillfully than a real player! Some of these revolutionary algorithms include Tankleader, Mbot, Dnive/Dniwe and WoTEx 3.2. It should be noted that Encyclopedia Dramatica highly discourages the usage of said bots in game in order to make the life-draining, soul-sucking, money-grubbing gaming experience actually somewhat enjoyable, the material here is for educational purposes only.

SPG

Anyone that uses a SPG (Self-Propelled Gun) is a faggot of near-mythic proportions. Most people that use the SPG have no actual skills at the game, and the SPG has been aptly named the "vengeful finger of God." Despite being nerfed they still one-shot your ass for even so much as looking at them with bad intent. Most SPG users will argue that YOU are a retard for not taking cover, but even taking cover fails. Like all supreme faggots, these people will indeed mock you for insulting them and their OBVIOUS skills until you off yourself before their very eyes. Fun fact: some SPGs have autoloaders, you can now proceed to shit bricks and an hero yourself.


How to know that a SPG has targeted you

The "Community"[edit]

The actual appeal of "Girls und Panzer"
The community is easily the worst accumulation of filth and fanboy scum known to man (Think Cock of Booty, Team Fucktress 2, World of Borecraft, and DotA 2's community multiplied by ten to an exponent of ten.) The players will screech like apes into the chat, insult one-another (not for the lulz; they genuinely believe insulting someone with the same intelligence as them will actually achieve something), and go on to say they have fucked your mother in her fat, piggy-ass until your father killed himself. The "community" will try valiantly to defend the good name of this shit-shack of a game, but will fail pathetically as
Average player encountered.
anyone with even with an unhoned cognitive ability will realize the game is not worth playing at all, and makes Modern Warfare 3 look GOOD. Like every gaming community, this one features a prominent brony group that does nothing but annoy the people in the community that are not massive, raging, uncontrollable faggots (In-short none of them.) Also like any other true gaming community, this one features a gaggle of pissy weabs that cum full buckets over the mediocre anime known as "Girls und Panzer" (Yes, the Japs think they can speak German!). Most community members will yell memes, puns, cancer, and AIDs until the chat server decides to act batshit and censor everything said, even if the chat filter is off. Luckily enough, like any shit-MMORFAGER it features a spam-blocker which still functions like a gimping retard.

Ways to annoy the community[edit]

1. Call German tanks by their full name. (Name guide included.)/German guns by their full names/include manufacturer's name with model name. (Bonus points for English.)

2. Tell them that you do it because you prefer it.

3. Wait until everyone begins begging you to say the abbreviation for it.

4. Ignore them, continue issuing orders by saying the full names of tanks. (Nobody listens, regardless.)

5. Chuckle quietly as you witness everyone "Wutting?" and begging you to stop speaking German.

Guide to German names.

  • VK. = Versuchkonstruktion (Prototype Vehicle/Tracked Prototype/Prototype Tank)
  • Pz.Kmpfw. = Panzerkampfwagen (Armored Fighting Vehicle)
  • Hetzer = Jagdpanzer Modell 1938(t) (Hunting Tank, Model 1938-Czech)
  • Kw.K = Kampfwagenkanone (Fighting Vehicle Cannon)
  • Pa.K = Panzerabwehrkanone (Anti-tank Cannon)
  • (P) = Porsche
  • (H) = Henschel
  • (t) = Czech-made

The competitive scene[edit]

Because having a face that was actually run over by a tank makes you a good player.

As with every video game out there... correction, as with every pixelated taint out there, World of Tanks was infected with professional video game players. As you may all know by now, these creatures are the next evolution in the gamer gene pool. Taking every abominable trait a gamer has and elevating it to a fictional level of grandeur, that no one in the real world gives a fuck about. As where, other gamers, the more inferior of their kind, shiver down in adulation, fear and/or jealousy. Somehow, the WoT competitive scene grew exponentially over a short period of time, it is still unknown how, but when every dopey eyed loser is absorbed into this sewage, you're forced to wonder, how unstable these slow-witted individuals are.

Competitive leagues started popping up like syphilis on an old tramp. Known professional eSports teams started making their own WoT roosters out of the blue. Over night, everyone started playing this game. Competitions offering million of dollars in prize pools. Who could have guessed, a dreadfully designed thing, could get so far. But then again, what doesn't?

Known eSports teams that have adopted a WoT rooster are:


This is the only competitive scene I know, where the vast majority of players are over 30 years of age, big, fugly and complete Russian. I do not know where they gathered, or how they found each other, but this is beyond disturbing. No wonder World of Tanks got invaded by the Russian wave, because they swarm like flies, every hunk of shit they spot.

He wants to hug you in his tank.


Descent into insanity:

  • Mikhail "Gerat" Zhdanov, Team Dignitas, Age 31, Russian
  • Sergey "Diver233" Pisotsky, Team Virtus.Pro, Age 32, Russian
  • Dmitriy "K23IEmelka" Salomatin, Team Virtus.Pro, Age 30, Russian
  • Piotr "Viol_" Surma, Team Mousesports, Age 30, Polish
  • Sebastian "potomako" Pokrywka, Team Mousesports, Age 30, Polish
  • Piotr "xPeter" Brochocki, Team Mousesports, Age 33, Polish
  • Vladislav "Bad_News_33" Esikeev, Team Denova Gaming, Age 33, Russian
  • Nikolaos " NikLemos" Lemos, Team Denova Gaming, Age 41, Greek
  • Marcin "Ejs" Witecki, Team Evil Panda Squad, Age 33, Polish
  • Michal "MikiMan" Steinka, Team Evil Panda Squad, Age 32, Britfag

Rednecks and Hicks[edit]

Hicks and rednecks play this game to express their love of 'MURIKEH and the HOMELAND! This rather large pocket of players tends to play on the North American server-cluster. These people are easily the most moronic, imbecilic, fuckbrained people you shall ever come across and they are also the easiest ones to troll.

Trolling these Hicks[edit]

How to win the game

1. Tell them the North American Server cluster primarily means Canada/Insult America's shitty tanks/Insult America/Insult Hamburgers/Insult their mothers *Which are also their aunts.*/Insult America's faggotry during Dubya-dubya Deu/Call Americans retards/Tell them that Canadians made better versions of their tanks/et cetera.

2. Fan the flames by saying you support Anti-American groups.

3. Laugh at their illiteracy and mock him for their inadequate efforts.

4. Insult America again, using a different spark.

5. Wait until the flames turn into a wildfire of butthurt and illiteracy.

6. They tells you they are filing tickets with support. (Even though lil' Russians do not give a third of a fuck about Americans.)

7. Laugh in their fat-fucking-faces.

8. Tell them their stats and wn8 are as bad as that one shit show player Gunadie.


As rednecks are mostly illiterate and do not study history, most will attempt to say "MURIKEH DEYD AWL EF TEH SHIET IN WEURLD WER 2, WITOUT US TEH ALEIS WULD HEV LOST" (Furthering the fact that your target is completely uneducated.) In a stalwart attempt to push their "knowledge" into your ass, and sodomize you with FREEDOM. Most rednecks will claim that Canadians did nothing during the war, the Brits got bombed by Nazis, and the French were too busy being faggots to actually help with the war efforts. (Disclaimer: Causing an American to kill himself by educating him about this era is actually pretty classy, but without a recording of Big-Bubba taking a swig of shotgun mouthwash your efforts would have been pointless.) Most rednecks in this community do a fine job of customizing their tanks with pretty camouflages, flags, eagles, essentially everything about ten dollars worth of Jewgolds can buy someone.

Jewing retards out of their money since 2012[edit]

Belarusians being the Jew-Russians they are have found many ways to raep your wallet until your wallet kills itself and you lose your only friend. These Jews have found a way to take essentially all of your money from you as efficiently as possible using several methods, including - but not limited to -

  • Selling "premium" tanks (which are garbage bins that cannot be modified, and usually generate more money and give you "free" experience to piss your way past grinding in this terrible game.)
  • Selling camouflages (Makes your tank stand out midst the historical inaccuracies and pure retardation, also helps to hide you from the broken spotting and camouflage system.)
  • Selling premium ammo (For those retards who can't learn the location of even the most obvious universal weak spots on tanks [cupola/lower glacis], buy some mini nukes and shoot away like a tard that you are.)
  • Selling Jewgolds (Premium currency used to purchase stupid shit.)
  • Selling Premium Subscriptions (Another method to earn more not-Jewgolds in-game to purchase other tonks and tonk accessories.)
  • Selling emblems (Furthers the historical inaccuracies by allowing you to paint stupid shit onto your tank for a nominal fee, they do nothing but make you look like a moron.)
  • Selling inscriptions (Makes you look like a retard as you have purchased WERDS 4 URE TANK, DAWG!)

As most people that dare touch this game are complete shit-eating retards, they will fall for this shit and throw money at the screen hand-over-fist until they are out of money. (And by "They" we mean your parents and your college fund. Luckily enough, you were never going to college, eh champ?)

Community Jewing Wargaming out of their money[edit]

If you want some valuable Jewgolds in World of Pinks, the easiest method to obtain it for free is to utilize Bing (Rixty) Rewards to buy precious Jewgolds using rewards. However, if you loathe Bing like everyone should - you can find an application for Google Chrome that phantom-searches Bing, and gives you the rewards. However, you are limited to fifteen reward points a day. However, if you have patience and no mind you can buy everything you need in NO time!

Fondly remembered as Tardgaming[edit]

Bubby-1.jpg

"Tardgaming" has been around LONGER than Gaijin Entertainment (A gaggle of Russians that are making their challenger, War Thunder.), yet still manages to be tenfold shittier than them. Tardgaming is well-known for doing heinous shit, such as lying about their player count (Claiming to have sixty-five million players, whenever only a few thousand are ever on your servers is moronic, for your information.), being the most incompetent group of homosexuals to ever buttfuck the gaming community and infest it with AIDS since VALVe or Torn-Banner. Despite being here longer than Gaijin, they have still no competence in the least bit.

World of Warplanes damage control & censoring[edit]

^ The War Thunder killer, ladies & gentlemen! ^


On the "release day" of World of Warplanes, Tardgaming's planes spin-off, a fat nerd and some hideous skank advertised the game on Twitch.tv, spewing out shit like: "I think these planes have historical health". Many facepalms were had and lots of aviation nerds / War Thunder fanboys started raiding the chat with legitimate questions such as: <message deleted>, <message deleted> and also <message deleted>.

Since WarGaming were so nice with replying after just 2 seconds to each of their commenters in the chat, Tardgaming was rewarded with ASCI dicks & War Thunder advertisement. They also prematurely closed the stream, but not before ending it with one of their terrible render trailers that basically resembles more of the gameplay of WT than of WoWP, making them look like total assclowns.

People were extremely mad about why Wargaming didn't try to combine the three games (WoT, WoWP, WoWS), thus leading to even more text chat permabans even after the stream ended. Lot's of jimmies were rustled. There have been approximately a dozen moderators at work to hide any evidence of a better game being made outside of Belorussia. But hey guys, don't forget, the first player who buys the first level 10 plane gets 10 years of PREMIUM, totally worth it!


What a successful game launch that was!


A gallery of damage control & false advertisement About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


The fake render trailers


Dogfighting with about 600km/h through small street gaps. US Navy fighters in North Africa. Planes completely vaporize through MG fire.

So like, are we supposed to feel bad now about shooting down other players in this shitty game?! What's the fucking motivation behind this?

This game has no heavy bombers. B17's were no night bombers. Bombing and fighting in a thunder storm, AT NIGHT. A modern high tech minigun in a pillbox. That FUCKING TUNNEL FIGHT!

The Union Jack is wrong. Bristol Bulldogs never saw combat with the RAF in WW2. WoWP doesn't have any level bombers. Spitfires (especially not this pre-war model) did not intercept V1 rockets because they were too slow. Pilots did not shoot at V1's because that was suicide. V1's were not flipped with the wings, they were flipped by putting the wing under them, using their own airstream against them. Me262s never fought against jets.

Japanese planes trailer and the first plane to die is a Zero. Everyone flies like a retard (just like azns drive cars). A prototype jet plane that shoots down jets that didn't exist in WW2.

This trailer is filled with so much bullshit it's not even possible to explain it. A 2012 trailer that shows about everything that this game does NOT feature: Big explosions, physics, flying in formation, ACTION, anything. Well, the biplane battle there was accurate enough about how much action awaits you in this game (high powered biplanes from WW2 that fight like early WW1 machines, are you fucking kidding me?).

This trailer looks like utter shit. A biplane can keep up with a jet, lol ok.

"Hurr durr, look at those tier 1 noobs in their useless biplanes xD".

3 out of 4 planes that never entered combat. Amazing.

Pfffffthhhh ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 10/10 A++ SOUNDDESIGN, WOULD SHOW AT SCHOOL PROJECT!


<center>"Bummer, if our game looks and plays like total dogshit, we might aswell just release expensive, misleading render trailers to lure in 12 year old kiddies"

- This is funny, because all these trailers remind you more of War Thunder, both visually and conceptually. (Friendly reminder to look up that gameplay video up there again, after watching this)



#SirFochGate[edit]

Now, being super duper bigass company with lotsa money and shady practices (let alone being Belarusians), Turdgaming was bound to eventually fuck up and mire itself in a delicious drama. Enter Sir Foch, a run-of-the-mill youtuber with some renown in what passes for "community" in WoT.

Now the shitstorm began when Sir Foch made a rather...indignant review of one of Failgaming's newest money making turd machines - Chrystler P2W. Now ordinarily Sir Foch's potty mouthed criticism didn't bother Fartgaming (Hey, even bad publicity is publicity, amirite?), but the Chrystler review was a wee bit different. Sir Foch tore Cockgaming a new asshole by revealing that the Chrystler was a part of a larger money grubbing scheme. In short Chrystler has good armor, so you need to buy premium ammo to hurt it, however Chrystler's gun is really meh, so you also need to buy premium ammo in order to hurt something if you are driving it.

This perfidious practice has been going on behind the scenes for some time, but Sir Foch was the first to be bold and/or foolish enough to openly unmask the whole practice, in front of thousands of watchers. Needles to say, the review spread quickly over the intertubes, but the worst was yet to come. Shitgaming began it's onslaught by stripping Foch of his Community Contributor status, innocuous enough, but soon after proceeded to bully the guy with threats to demonetize his channel, making him unable to earn any jewgolds from his subscribers. Foch seemingly complied with Pissgaming and took down the assrapetastic video, but not before screencapping the whole threat and publishing it for the masses to see.

Crapgaming tried to do some damage control, claiming that Sir Foch was threatened and bullied politely asked to take down his mean video where he says mean things about Pukegaming. The whole shebang drew up a shitstorm, getting numerous reviewers, commentators and youtubers on the case, even Jim motherfucking Sterling got in on the act, giving a decent indication of the levels of fail Fapgaming was steeped in.



A video symposium on the World of Tanks[edit]

The Symposium

Here are some videos of the abomination that calls itself a "game"


Conclusion and hypothesis for the future of World of Tanks[edit]

Hypothesis[edit]

Recently, a challenger has appeared - Gaijin Entertainment. Hailing from beautiful Mother Russia, War Thunder has the intent of stealing WoT's thunder, raping its corpse, and cloning the tank combat, except they will actually introduce working physics and moar than just boring tanks. For instance: aeroplanes!

There's also Armored Warfare, a somewhat better game with more modern tanks from 1980s onwards.

Conclusion[edit]

Even THIS amount of shit fails to epitomize World of Tanks.


In short, if you had any cognitive ability and you're not an assbackwards lifeform, you would have picked up the "Avoid this game like the plague" - message by now.


Just jump in front of a real moving tank, you sperg!

Related Articles[edit]

External Links[edit]



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