TorGuard-VPN-Sitenotice2.gif
Anonymous VPN Service + Torrent Proxy


Scales.png JONATHAN MONSARRAT FILED A SLAPP SUIT AGAINST US. Scales.png
Gavel.png
Scales.png Please donate what you can via Wesearchr to help us crowdfund this case.Scales.png

Bitcoin: 1BUeFKUrFwnQAujNHWGzHgoJAxRixVprow

XrissXrow

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
   
 
Actually my real name is Maxx with two X's. My last name is Krow with a K and I can prove that.
 

 
 

—Christopher L Markanson, lying out his fucking asshole

XrissXrow [1], AKA Christopher L Markanson, is a stoned Criss Angel wanna-be on YouTube. Like most juggalos, he lives in his parents garage where he makes 99% of his videos. He likes to put in Marilyn Manson contacts and try to look really spooky, despite the fact that there's absolutely nothing scary about a guy that lives in a garage, unless you're his parents.

Just like cockroaches, if you see one juggalo there's probably 2 or 3 more under the baseboards. XrissXrow and his jugga-BFF CocaineTheClown make some of the gayest videos you'll ever see. Here's the type of shit this douchebag and his gang of faggots like to upload to their channels:

We're So Random

Internet Romeo

XrissXrow has stated in several places that he's "engaged" to some lucky juggalette hambeast named Kristen. Apparently when you smoke as much hookah as Xriss does, anything with a snatch looks good. Despite professing his MCL for this heifer, Xriss has still managed to make NOT ONE COUNT THEM THREE Plenty of Fish profiles.


Not only does he not mention his obese "fiance" in his Plenty of Fish profiles, but he also tries to say that he's not a total fucking pothead. Curiously, there's also no mention of his glamorous bachelors pad in his parent's garage.


   
 
I would just like to say that I do smoke hookah, BUT WAIT, its not drugs, its flavored tobacco and it is nothing like cigarettes and I have proof
 

 
 

—Christopher L Markanson, yeah right

It would appear this garage dwelling mamas boy has trouble meeting woman, hence the making of 3 different Plenty of Fish profiles. XrissXrow will obviously be dumping that Orca Kristen, just as soon as he hooks up with a less hogly looking cow.

Smoking Fetish

XrissXrow has some deep seeded obsession with Hookahs, so much so in fact, that this was the main reason he was exiled to his parent's garage by his mom. With over 150 videos of himself blowin smoke cock at his account TrueHookahKing, you would think that he would have the time to like, get a job, or something. Despite his exile to the garage, and his obvious oral fixation, XrissXrow claims that he's "not addicted", and gets very butthurt when people speak out against hookahs.

An Internet Tough Guy Is Born

One day some of XrissXrow decided he was going to try to make a name for himself as a internet badass. He got into a little comment war with another user, PennysGoneWild, and eventually made a video about him. In the video XrissXrow blabbered on like a real big man and asked for a war with Penny, all the while sucking on his hookah like Jabba the Hutt. Penny made a response video where he pretty much called XrissXrow out for being the little bitch that he is. XrissXrow responded by false-flagging the video down. Smelling blood in the water, Penny uploaded another video with clips of XrissXrow's own words:

XrissXrow had a shit-fit and DMCA'd the video right away. Since this was his very first DMCA, he didn't realize that he essentially just handed his dox to the guy he asked for a "war" with. After realizing this major fuck up, Xriss went into DENY FUCKING EVERYTHING mode, and left comment after comment about how he didn't flag or DMCA anything. He also tried making up some bullshit fake dox to take the place of his real ones.


When Xriss finally realizes that he just got fucked, he apologizes to Penny, denies his beach-ball "fiance", and tries to throw his friends under the bus as a sacrifice.



   
 
But anyways, I have to apologize...
 

 
 

—Christopher L Markanson, tried to butch up, but ended up bitching out.

Ass Beating

XrissXrow had begged for his article to be taken down, he even tried to blank it but when that failed he fabricated a story about being jumped by masked men. He claims his ass beating was the direct result of his online faggotry.


   
 
I'm pretty sure they know who I am, they probably got my information off the internet
 

 
 

—Christopher L Markanson, after getting jumped by some eyeshadow.

Trivia

  • Did you know, that Xrow is a fucking midget IRL and is barely over 5ft?
  • He has moar hair on his chest than Big Foot and likes to brag about it.
  • Xrow spends all his time in the garage smoking instead of looking for a job.
  • Xriss likes to wear piercings on his face that light up to make him look cool.
  • Did you know, that Xriss is balding so he likes to spike up his hair in order to avoid being ridiculed for being middle aged?
  • Xrow claims to not be gay even though he clearly likes putting long, hard shaped objects near his mouth on a daily bases.
  • Did you know, that Xriss has a thing for fat chicks?
  • Xrow failed as a Juggalo so he bailed out and became a Maggot instead.

See also

External Links

YouTube Accounts

Miscellaneous Accounts

Plenty Of Fish Accounts

twitter

FaceBook

Myspace Accounts

EMAILS

  • [email protected]
  • [email protected]

Kristen his girlfriend

Female 21 years old Connecticut United States

XrissXrow
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET
Too mooch data.jpg

Pitfalls:

AspierationsBLANKING IN PROGRESSCharming NaïvetéDelete fucking everythingDOIN IT RONGEdginessFailing itInternet tough guyKids on the internetLegal actionLiberalismMental illnessMod SassSkript kiddiesSob StoriesTrollsUnrealistic ExpectationsUnwarranted Self-ImportanceWaaaambulance

Previous Hiscores:
AnimaljailApplemilk1988Cheryl ShumanDalhuskyFlardoxHal TurnerLittleCloudOnigojirakaijuPrince JeremyScience PiratesScientologySokiTwopawSweet EvaPeppermintPattiPoeticironyXxPrincessPunkxxZeriara

PROTIPS:
An heroGoing Back To GaiaLURKING MOARProtect fucking everythingShutting The Fuck UpStopping posting

JewTube Logo.png

XrissXrow is part of a series on YouTube.

[CollapseExpand]

A-BC-DE-FG-HI-JK-LM-NO-PQ-RS-TU-VW-XY-Z#

Visit the YouTube Portal

A Message From Chad and SteveA hunter shoots a bearAJcomixAaronEverettLandAbsenceOfTheAbsentAddison MikkelsonAdeleADoseOfBuckleyAeverine NievesAfr0blu3Afro NinjaAgoraphobic-BlueAkaichouAkewsticRockRAleksandr PistoletovAlexander4488Alexander4488/Approved ED PageAlexander4488/Director CommentaryAlexandercarneiroAlex MacRaeAlix HenriolAlphawerewolffAlyallieAmazingplatypus69Amber ButtrumAmerica's Third PartyAngelofthyNightAngry GrandpaAngry Homo KidAngry Video Game NerdAngryLittleGiriAnonymousNastyAnonymousThoughtAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnti-Flagger Association of YouTubeAntiDisneyMovementAntoine DodsonApplemilk1988AquagirlwhitefoxArceusfan2013Ardi RizalArgent009Armake21AsalieriAshlea ClaytonASMRAstablaziaAtJap13Atheist Scum UnitedAtheneAttackofthehankAudreynolandAush0kAustin FullmerAutoplayAxelswife1AyumihamiltonB WalmerBaaaBags of MoneyBananaphoneBANGSBarefoot NatureBarmer479Bart the GeneralBattimBeebee890BenthelooneyBetabyteiphoneBigBadFurgyTheFoxBikerfoxBill122460Billoon45BLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlasphemy ChallengeBleedingFireWolfBloodraptorBludshot the HedgehogBlueshineWolfBlunty3000Bob RehahnBodrochowskiBodyXPoliticBoh3m3BoxxyBravesgirl5BreakBrett KeaneBrokeTheInterwebBroncofn90BrookersBurger the Angry CatBURKBus Uncle

CRoadwarriorCaddicarusCakefartsCallumCartelCansin13CapnOAwesomeCaptainAtheistCaramelldansenCarl FiadinoCartoonjunkieCash MasterCassiusPlejarenAlienChad "Atheist Killa" ElliottChad HurleyChadwardennChancepsychChangeDaChannelCharlestrippyCharlie Bit Me - Again!Cheeseburger JoshCheetawolfChekovsgunCheryl ShumanChismahChloe DykstraChosonNinjaChrissy ChambersChris CrockerChris-chan/VideosChristianHillbillyChuggaaconroyCid SilverwingCid and Conners Excellent AdventureCircaRigelCirnoClay ClaymoreClayranger89CodenamesailorearthCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia SagaCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia Saga/BlacklistCodenamesailorearth/ED SagaCodenamesailorearth/The BeginningCokeman2423Colleen ThomasCooking With Jack ShowCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666Crazy GideonCrazyvideosandrantsCriss AngelCropperbCrossmackCrunkcoreCrystal ShinkleCubbyCulexorCulexor/YouTubeCuntFuckBitchCupcake DogCutechongCutiePieMarziaCwilliams1976CyanterroristDJ KEEMSTARDaddyOFiveDaHaloChickDamaronDamien EstreichDan144xDandCVideosDangermanDanielspengiesDarknessthecurseDarksidered992DarkspeedsDarkzero63DashieGamesDavid After DentistDavid HockeyDavidsfarmDaxFlameDbootsthedivaDcigsDear SisterDeleting Your YouTube VideosDemcadDenalynnnDerek JeevesDerpaviangottDigitalSurgeonDiGiTiLsOuLDiaper BoyDie AntwoordDips Tobacco RedneckDLAbaoaquDog264Donnie DaviesDouble RainbowDoubleSAnimationsDownfallDr. OctogonapusDr. TranDr4g0nK1dDraconas RayneDrewtoothpasteDrinkingwithbobDrossRotzankDrp1zzaDylan KimberlinDynaCatlovesme

SKWEEZYSONYFANBOYSailormoonred1SammyClassicSonicFanSandro L JeanSanjaya/JSargon of AkkadSaturnine FilmsSave AaliyahScarredFurrySchool Bus FightScott DeiCasScottHermanFitnessSegacampSerialKillaCSesshReincarnatedSeto-Kaiba.comSetsuna ToushirouShane DawsonShane LeeSharolaidShaycarlSherry ShrinerShockOfGodShocked and Appalled CatShon TerryShoobySimply OkamiSimply SaraSindragonSirius OrionisSittin On Tha ToiletSkueeSmell Yo DickSmogon UniversitySmorekitty97SmpfilmsSnackyCakes2008SnowVhiteSokiTwopawSonadowclubSonic X BloopersSony VegasSpaghettiosSparkalloonSparkling WigglesSpax3SpeakoniaSSSniperWolfStarlaglamSteAndKelStealth CatSteve ChenStu makes chocolate pudding at 4 in the morningSusan BoyleSwitchiedaggerSxephilSynchtubeTL;DWTabbyTablecowTaekesiTails DollTamias the ChipmunkTammyToeTay ZondayTay Zonday/CRLyricsTechaTedjesuschristgodTeenage Tourettes CampTehbigtoasterTerror PlaylistTh3RoyismThat Guy With The GlassesThatkidparkerThdrksideThe Annoying OrangeThe Barney BunchThe CaseyThe DickridersThe Domino's YouTube IncidentThe Failkips Strikes BackThe Fine BrosThe Florida Tweenie RapistsThe Harlan ShowThe Kewl KidsThe Incredible Flying Broomstick GuyThe MoleThe Mulberry EightThe NutshackThe Online GamerThe Slow Mo GuysThe Spoony ExperimentThe Spoony Experiment/Spoony and FriendsThe TrashmanThe Troll HunterThe Unknown AutobotThe Young TurksTheAmazingAtheistTheArchfiendTheHill88TheMrXshowTheQuestionMarkManTheRedSkullTheSockDetectiveTheSuperRobotSoujaOGThedramatubeThemaskedanalystThenintendo3ds2TherealagerbonTheresa ShellerThewinekoneThink B4 You SpeakThree Wolf MoonThunderf00tTime MagazineTimmygalTimmysmommy01TinaecmusicTolstoyKafkaEvskyTom SersonTommy JordanTommy SotomayorTommypezmasterTonettaTonetta777Tony48219TonystockertTori BelliachiTotalbiscuitTourette's GuyTrevor RiegerTrey Eric SeslerTriciakittyTrickshottingTriggerfoxTrollsNewsTrollsOfTerrorTrololoTroyriserTruthfulChristianTsimFuckisTunakTurtle PunchTwilightSucksTwizidwickedletteTwiztidAshTwo Girls One FingerTyler Redick

XrissXrow
is part of a series on
Otherkin
FYIAD.jpg
VampiresHumanoidsReptilesThe RestSee Also
Click topics to expand
XrissXrow is part of a series on
BlogTalkRadio
BTRlogo.png

People

BeefraveCelticBronyChancepsychCodenamesailorearthDebi DalyFelinoidGhostNephilimFreeSuzi BluVinceintheBayXrissXrow

See Also

BlogTalkRadioBlogTVPaltalkPoliticsUSI