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Yahoo! Answers

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Info non-talk.png "Yahoo! Answers" is the correct answer to the question "Education" on all job application forms.
Yhbtyahoo.jpg

Yahoo! Answers is a modern-era Indian reserve of sorts for suicide hopefuls, teenagers, retards, americunts, Eurofags (Yahoo! Answers UK), and parents shocked to find their 4-year-old children masturbating with the dog to roam wild. Most questions that users asks are rhetorical such as "If women are not crap, why do they pussy fart?" Unsurprisingly, a large population of trolls has also reached Y!A. It is the largest idiot breeding ground on the internets, followed by YouTube and tumblr, which are tied. Let's face it, Yahoo Answers is asking for it. Yahoo's famed answerers either respond with clever replies such as 'Good question!' to gain more points, which a recent study proved is the cause of AIDS, or with law-abiding liberal fucktard views that Michael Moore would be proud of. In response to the perfectly reasonable question of "Where can I download my faggot emo music for free?" retards will explain how doing so is morally wrong and is STEALING from the MUSIC INDUSTRY! These faggots are always basement dwelling virgins. Other such reasonable questions, such as a closet homosexual asking how to hack into his fat girlfriends chat logs to see if she would ever dream of cheating on him with that bad boy cool dude when he is 'such a nice guy!' are responded to similarly. BTW its a proven fact that that's where julesooogle resides where he still tells curious script kiddies that "hacking is inillegal. it's against the law."

How to Play

Yahoo Answers works on a "point" system, where the more points you accumulate the more special yahoo abilities you access. This essentially making it an MMO, where most people grind question so that they can level up. You gain points from answering questions and voting for the best answer, lose them by asking questions and deleting your own answer. There are four main professions that a Yahoo! Answers player can choose from.

  • Grinder - people who only answer questions to use up their daily limit, so that they can level-up the fastest. Typically, this means answering questions with inane comments such as "maybe" or "I don't know". These posts make up the majority of most answer threads.
  • Spammer - someone who copy-pastes gigantic 20-paragraph identical responses on all questions of a similar topic, usually relating to how great Mormonism/Christianity/Atheism/Scientology/Eugorinalism is, without any real relevance to the question. Almost universally ignored.
  • Troll - Here either to tell you how stupid you are when you ask a question, or to ask a stupid question in order to waste your time and piss you off. The only real use of answers, other than to produce tons of links to your website.
  • Grammar Nazi - People that will only answer your question to tell you to learn some grammar before you write new answers. They are similar to the troll except they believe they have a purpose to bring grammar to Yahoo Answers.
  • Woman - These type of people ask idiotic questions, and most of them are not aware of a website called google and rather have questions answered by 12 year olds. Or Grinders.

Other strategies

  • Netclique - The most common strategy is for someone to invite everyone they play the board game Sorority Life on Facepuke so they can trade fellatio for best answer votes. Depending on the size of the alliance, they can praise each other's sharing of wisdom up to a significant amount and rise to a high ranking.
  • Gamer/exploiter - Unlike the "grinder", the exploiter differentiates between effectiveness and efficiency. Someone who archives answers to the most frequently asked questions (mFAQ) in a note-taking computer program in order to cut and paste the answers as soon as they appear on a category feed. The gamer/exploiter type tries to optimize the best-answer quotient. He's efficient in the Yahoo! Answers imaginary world, but a complete and total idiot when it comes to efficiency IRL situations, since he wastes so much time on Yahoo! Answers doing repetitive work for the "Web 2.0" plantation, with no compensation whatsoever.
  • Yahoo! Answers Team sycophant - This is someone who is brain-washed by "Web 2.0" utopianism, praises the Yahoo! Answers Team, the Yahoo! Answers service, or the "Web 2.0" mentality in general, uses Yahoo! Answers and "Web 2.0" vocabulary according to protocol, and thinks that the Internet runs on software, not hardware or money. A typical comment by such a user is he's addicted to Yahoo! Answers, that Yahoo! Answers is the best thing since sliced bread, yada, yada… As the good sycophant he is, he reports all lulzy posts as inappropriate. He's "politically correct" (does not tolerate anti-Jewish, racially aware or nationalistic comments) and antilulzy. Like the gamer/exploiter, a complete and utter moron who likes to be exploited by the owners of the "Web 2.0" plantation.
  • Weight Loss Guru - Answer every weight loss question with "cocaine. lots and lots of cocaine."
  • Competition - Create a competing wiki. Like this one.
  • Vulture - Similar to the Gamer/Exploiter in nature and ruthlessness, but without the smarts to play the system, the Vulture will find any question with one or more answers already posted, and paraphrase the existing answer, and add a source to it (read as post the url of the first couple web sites that come up in a google search of the topic). Though these users appear smart and helpful, they are nothing without the fodder that previously posted.
  • Social Media Retardation - A strategy common in the type of aspies and wimmins that visit the likes of facebook, this close relative of the spammer will post noncontributing and unhelpful bullshit such as "OMG, that happened to me too! :D I really would like to know as well :\" or "I know how that feels. Good luck!" This breed of fuckface, too stupid to realize that they're on a website to (albeit stupidly and unreliably) answer and ask questions rather than make friends and talk to people who share a mutual lack-of-fucks-given, are actually contributing to the almost impossible: lowering the site's already dismal collective IQ.

In summary, Yahoo! Answers is exactly like 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' - everything's made up and the points don't matter.

Answers categories ripe for trolling

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap4zaD0KF2I1iIp9HWBF.UTaxQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20091126133151AAqW6M0

How to troll specific categories

Category Demographic Weaknesses How to proceed
Any Idiots "Racism" Only refer to blacks as "colored people"
Computers & Internet > Internet > Wikipedia Wikipedia fans Wikipedia cultism Anything slightly critical of the Wikimedia Foundation or Bomis gets on their nerves.
Food & Drink > Vegetarian & Vegan "New Age" idiots ignorance of biology and metabolism Attack their biology-illiteracy and New-Agism. Also ask questions on how to cook endangered species.
Health > Mental Health psychiatristicists, psychologisticists, suicidal people, biology-illiterates psychiatry's epistemological foundations (immaterialism, mentalism, society-nature dualism, mind-body dualism, "nature"-"nurture" dualism, psychism), physical weaknesses (suicidal tendencies, dependency on antidepressants, neuroleptics, self-"diagnosis") You troll it by insinuating that psychiatry's foundations are wrong. If someone "asks" that he's about to commit suicide, kindly tell him to just do so, for the lulz.

If you smoke or are considering smoking, let them know. The whole site is full of anti-smokers who all think they're the one person who will strike a chord in your mind and get you to quit.

Politics & Government > Politics Fringe of the left and right extremists on both sides. Anything outside of their political beliefs. Talk about non-U.S. politics. Point out the success of the glorious Soviet Union. Expose pseudoconservatism. Attack Western religion (Christianity + Judaism), "egalitarianism", "democracy", abortionism and "sex ed" advocates. Mock New World Order prophesies. Say that Jews did 9/11.
Social Science > Gender & Women's Studies fans of the social sciences, tea-party "ladies" resentment against ex-boyfriends, childlessness - make fun of Alanis Morrisette Just approach it with the thing that annoys social-scienticists the most: the natural sciences. Tell the fucking feminists how resentful they are and what a bunch of losers they are.
Social Science > Psychology immaterialists, psychologisticists, attention seekers, dream "interpreters" aversion against sociobiology, behavioral biology, biology in general, and the natural sciences (materialism), ignorance of how sleep works The solution is to troll the fuck out of them by saying things that are even slightly materialistic, even slightly natural-scientistic, even slightly biologistic, which is just enough to get on social-science fans' nerves.
Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered homos, feminists, leftists Ask why the people in the category chose to be gay. Also just respond with one word: "Fag".
Society & Culture > Religion & Spirituality Atheists and liberals. Start mocking atheists.
Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > General Cultures and Groups anti racist, niggers, and white nationalists political correctness to the extreme The key is to make any type of racists and start posting. Anything from good ol' nigger haters to nigger lovers will bring the lulz.
Politics & Government > Elections Democrats and Republicans Just pick either side of the political aisle and then smear the other side for laughs and get massive amounts of thumbs-up. Pick a side and stick with it.
Politics and Government > Military Full of Veterans Just call marines soldiers.

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See Also

External Links


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