Yamla

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Frog clock.jpeg Yamla is going to be fixed up later...
So stay tuned!
"Nice People Swallow".

Yamla is a faggoty Wikipedo admin. When he is not needlessly deleting your images, acting like a prick to your n00bs, banhammering entire countries, fucking you over with meaningless blocks and then accusing every user he comes into contact with in the months following of being your sockpuppet, denying everyone's unblock requests, branding everybody he disagrees with as a "vandal", deleting hundreds of articles created by anyone suspects of being a sockpuppet, branding people a sockpuppet without ever proving it, protecting multiple articles out of self-interest or for no reason at all, he is also known by everyone for eating pudding and Nelly Furtado fandom, who he claims is Canadian, but is actually a bi-sexual, hawt as fuck, full blooded Portuguese.

The faggot is urged to learn what the qualifications for somebody being a "vandal" are, not currently included among the types of vandalism "19. Anybody who Yamla dislikes". Although he has somehow tricked Wikipedia into letting him become an admin, Yamla had yet to read any of the website's polices and will commonly unleash entirely wrong classifications of users actions out of his sperm drenched glory hole.

When not abusing random users to accuse them of being socks of banned users, and going on an almighty power trip, wielding his banhammer for great justice, Yamla loves to sit in his little study and worship Nelly Furtado. He knows that she is pure and innocent, and even if she is on TV, radio, and in 20 different magazines saying she is bisexual, it couldn't possibly be true, so he made sure to ban every person who even thought it (he is psychic remember, so he knew that it was true).

Adding to the Islamic people he already pissed off. The omg rebul!!1 Chris hates the Christian God too, so would you if you couldn't get laid and had the shit kicked out of you at school, he likes to email old guys who are atheists.[1] Among the victims of Yamla's trolling is Jesus[2] and his mom the Virgin Mary. This has its pros and cons: while it is certain that this queer will be licking dirty cornholes in hell after he dies, it also means he will continue his unrepentant cuntery (no trolls remorse).

Yamla is above all of the other administrators, and likes to tell them off. It doesn't matter what they all think, he is right, and he is always right, and if any of them dares to oppose him, why, they must be sock puppets of a banned user, that's what. Yamla doesn't believe in the cabal. Yamla only believes in Yamla.

Its alive[edit]

"Is Yamla the sort of prick you would trust with syslop powers, George?".

Yamla was kicked out of Europe because there was not enough room to contain the faggotry of himself, Elton John and George Michael. So he took his pink faggot hair and his gay facial piercing to Canadia, after likely being bullied at school for being a long distant relative of Jeffree Star, he turned to teh_internetz.

With teh_internetz and his newly shaven head, Yamla found a place to vent his pent up frustrations at the world: Wikipedia. His origins on the site were highly suspicious, he started editing on the same day, of the same hour, from the same town as SlimVirgin.[3] He mostly focused on editing articles, that any hetrosexual middle-aged man may cover like Ciara, Hilary Duff and that hunk 'o' man love Brad Pitt.""Yamla&site=en.wikipedia.org

After"" months of reverting "vandalism" in the hopes of becoming an admin, he was finally sworn in, after a request[4] which, among the voters included known sockpuppets (later banned).[5][6][7] Any n00b, who for example might disagree with the mistake of Yamla being given admin responsibilities, who might stumble upon the request page and calmly make a comment referencing Yamla's "control freak" tendencies in the oppose section,[8] will be blocked within seconds for "personal attacks" and branded a fucking "vandal", no warning, just trolling.[9]

Doesn't believe that John Lithgow is Brad Pitt's uncle.

Night Of Teh Long Bans[edit]

Qatar FTW.

On the 30th of December 2006, instead of being out with friends getting ready to celebrate the New Year, Yamla was sat on Wikipedia as usual blocking every non-admin motherfucker in sight. When, at 16:45 he brazenly stepped forward and banned the entire country of Qatar via the countries shared IP, a place with a population of around 850,000 (including Arab media station Al-Jazeera).[10][11] One onlooker commented on the perverse act of negligence.

"If any 'meatspace' court system applied a punishment to a whole class of people for the actions of one person, it would be branded as medieval, ancient, idiotic, illogical, backwards, a betrayal of the philosophies responsible for the progress, of civilization, and most of all, completely ineffective."[12]

Naturally Yamla blocked the freedom fighter for "vandalism".[13] The unparalleled act of fucktardery spread through the internets like wildfire, first through sites nobody gives a fuck about, until the sick incident made it to the major league, New York Times,[14] BBC,[15] MSNBC,[16]. Jimbo Wales and others had to make comment dismissing the embarrassing incident, dubbing it "bullshit".[17]

Despite the fact that Yamla had managed to make Wikipedia look ridiculous to most of the world, he was never punished (not even a minor block) and never fully apologized to the people who he had trolled over. If you try to add the fact that he was the cause of the fuck-up, on Wikipedia you will be banned, branded a fucking vandal and the page will be protected.

Nelly Furtardo Fantardom[edit]

Last Thursday Yamla was jacking off to pictures of Nelly Furtado when he decided that he could worship her more beautifully by owning her Wikipedia article. Amidst screams of "I love you Nelly!", he added it to his watch list, and vowed to get rid of any scum bags who dared to change it.

Along came a Brazilian editor called Opinoso who loved Nelly Furtado because she spoke Portuguese, just like everyone in Brazil does. He decided that he wanted Nelly Furtado to belong to him, and all Portuguese people. Amidst screams of "We all love you Nelly", he valiantly added in that Nelly Furtado was in fact a Portuguese Canadian, not just a Canadian, and henceforth she belonged to Opinoso.

Yamla was pissed off at this, and after breaking Wikipedia's fabled 3 Revert Rule and was facing the dreaded 24 hour block, he decided to accuse Opinoso of vandalism. Opinoso wasn't actually doing anything wrong, but he insisted that since there was some rule that vaguely suggested that you should be careful about adding in what someone's nationality is, therefore REALLY Opinoso was in the wrong, and indeed, he threatened to ban his ass. Opinoso was lucky that he didn't do anything more.

After a bit of checking, another editor called Eden Tate provided actual proof that Nelly Furtado really was Portuguese, referencing actual Wikipedia articles. Someone else reverted him, but then decided to change it to say "Holds Portuguese citizenship" rather than simply "is Portuguese". Right.

OMG U Sock Puppet![edit]

Every day Yamla wakes up, yawns a little, and goes off to offer his time to volunteer at Wikipedia. Every single day he sees people creating more sock puppets to evade bans, so he just has to ban them. Yamla has a psychic ability to know who is a sock puppet. One day he knew that IPs in 4 different continents were really Runcorn, so he banned them all. Another day he knew that everyone who disagreed with him was really Blissyu2. He is one of those rare psychics who never gets it wrong. Indeed, a recent study found that of his last 50 blocks for sock puppetry, CheckUser confirmed that a whole 2% of them were actual sock puppets. This was incredible news for Yamla, who just assumed that they were all wrong.

And then Yamla decided that Eden Tate was a dreaded sock puppet, of You!!! Yes You and wielded his mighty banhammer. He then decided to threaten everyone else with the dreaded ban, promising to find excuses to ban their sorry butts too.

He then added the dreaded {{fact}} tag to the article. Of course, all of this was just a masturbation fest for Yamla, who was in the middle of an almighty great power trip, banning every person who had ever thought to exist.

He saw one indef ban and decided to EXTEND it! That's right, make an indef ban even worse! Why? Because he e-mailed Yamla to advise him that he'd broken the 3 Revert Rule on Nelly Furtado and hence should block himself for 24 hours!

While Yamla was in the middle of squirting his jism all over the Nelly Furtado article, he decided to ban everyone else too, and then in his sweet pillow talk kissed her face and let her know that it was all worth it.

And still jacking off[edit]

Even as of 2015 he was still patrolling once in a while, and blocking people he "doesn't like the look of". Although he's pretty damn far from the worst patroller. For that kinda shit you'll have to look at MuZemike or NawlinWiki.

See Also[edit]

References[edit]

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