ZEN

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It seriously says this all the time.

If one is to mention ZEN in the furry community, it will begin to brew the largest furfag drama known to the internets. Having been on the furfag scene for about four years (or 1,460 pieces of porn), he is thought even by the furfag community to be weird. To normal, sane individuals though, he is seen as the, biggest most enormously faggy faggot to ever walk the earth, having a database of over 1000 pieces of 'art' in which it always depicts either him assfucking some generic furry, him assfucking his lover, or an animal getting gang banged by a bunch of cocks. His mood on FurAffinity is always set to horny, which is a truly disturbing thought if one were to think about it hard enough.

Early Days[edit]

Residing in South Africa, ZEN began as an artist on the Blue Furry Oekaki, headed by a similarly famous furfag, Guppy, a feminine blue cat thing whose past time involved drawing pictures where he has orgies with himself, showing that he is a truly lonely sub-being. ZEN began cranking out porn at the rate at which he goes through canine dildos, leaving the furry masses with much bestiality to stroke their tiny little dicks to. Eventually, he became so notorious that furries were lining up for ZEN to draw pictures of them getting banged by him, beginning an epidemic of mass faggotry.

ZEN eventually started e-dating another furfag named Luis Tigerfox. ZEN thought of himself as Tigerfox's bitch, constantly stating to be his slave, and always looking for his approval when his latest piece of furfaggotry would come hot off the assembly line, steaming hot and covered in furry semen. The relationship lasted for about 100 pictures, until they broke up for undisclosed reasons. Soon after, Zen started having an bad day, and drew whiny emo shit. While less painful than furry porn, it persisted to burn the mind, as it still involved furries.

The Icelyon Era[edit]

ZEN soon started going out with another faggot named Icelyon, who was sixteen (fifteen?) at the time, truly showing the evils of furrydom. In no time, ZEN began cranking out ZEN x Icelyon porn. Soon, the masses got fed up with this bullshit, exclaiming "WHERE BE MAH BESTIALITYS". Eventually, they met IRL and had lots of buttsex, getting together every night so they could draw porn and fap to it.

While in most cases, bringing two furries together often causes earthquakes (Anthrocon is responsible for the impending Apocalypse), in this case it does not. Because ZEN devotes every goddamn breath to Icelyon (and his cock), he has no time to draw furry porn. If these two were to break up at any point in the future, the internet would probably be flooded with more ZEN porn. For the sake of humanity, make sure Icelyon and ZEN stay together until they grow old and die, their furry corpses killing anyone who comes within five miles of them.

Otherwise, the internet might experience a tidal wave of more gay emo furry shit, causing the intertubes to resemble New Orleans. It appears that most of the furfags who follow Zen around like a pack of masturbating zombies, lack the brain capacity to notice that Icelyon sucked ass until he got together with Zen, and Magic! He gets good. Zen was most likely doing everything but wiping Icelyon'ss ass, until they had sex, then he did that too. With his tongue.

ZEN x Icelyon drama[edit]

Every now and then when someone makes a thread on a site like FagChan, massive drama llama fodder is created, as the furries bicker about how Icelyon and Zen are too god damn lovey dovey. Prime examples of this are littered throughout FurAffinity, in which they write essay long comments to each other about how super awesome their love is, and only favorite each other's art. Chaos will always erupt when someone mentions ZEN's almost equally faggy ex-boyfriend, and then begin debating why they broke up, and whether or not ZEN still thinks about his hot Tiger-Fox bod while having furry buttsex. Being the one true knife to sever Zen from Icelyon, Zen goes to great lengths to cover his dirty little tracks and save himself from mass butthurt, and not the kind he likes. While this occurs, the sane people sit in their rocking chairs, contemplating who in their right mind actually gives a shit.

Zen: A Good Artist?[edit]

The sad truth is, ZEN lets his life and talents(?) go to waste by drawing the same, tired, old shit ad infinitum. If one were to convince him to stop being such a goddamn furfag, the world probably benefit greatly, the ungrateful bastard. The person who actually succeeds in liberating ZEN from this existence will win a grand prize of 10,000 internets. Liberating him would also cause extremely high amounts of furry drama amongst the furry community if they ever found out that their faggot God had fallen. And as everyone knows, furries versus furries is an automatic win for everybody else.

Another furry faggot by the name semicolon has brought both Zen and Icelyon's art under fire. Semicolon, despite being a furfag himself, had the internet balls to tell the masses that their God is actually a pile of crap, something we all knew. His userpage, here, has been subject to Zen's butthurt scrambles at getting back. "Oh noes, teh drama! Hao dare u call me a bad artzizt? I will end this drama nao!"

Zen Joshua: The Fursuit[edit]

Recently Zen has fallen foul of what is possibly the oldest rule in the book when he commissioned a fursuit of his oh so special and widely fapped over character 'Joshua'. The rule of course being brought into use here is that "Some things aren't supposed to leave imagination land". For a currently unknown number of trillion South African Rand which he had stashed in the rectum of his boyfriend ZEN paid a beady eye'd and flappy headed fool to commit the atrocity. While some will say that it looks good and that they'd fap to it any sane person cannot escape the blindingly obvious reality that it is nothing like the jumped up cum guzzling e-reality that every furfag worth their jizz encrusted fursuit has cum buckets to on more than one occasion. Anyone informing you of anything contrary to this is lying and thus should be shot and launched into the centre of the sun.

Zen finds ED, fans butthurt D:[edit]

March 26, 2007, ZEN finds this page and posts it on his FA journal for the greater lulz of the world. Although logically this should have made ZEN himself butthurt, it did not, and only inspired him to draw more gay furry porn. Other furries have taken him up in this campaign until the internet is flooded by furfaggotry. His retard fans completely miss the point of a wiki, apparently thinking that one man creates every edit on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Apparently it was proven true in this case, as the article was written by Pokchu. The journal, which sparked many lulz, can be found here.

Great Quotes[edit]

  • Closet furs who are self hating are so pathetic. If you put that much effort into hating, you know when no ones looking they're spanking it to your art.
  • What what did you expect from EncyclopediaRetardica? [insert amirite]
  • "While this occurs, the sane people sit in their rocking chairs, contemplating who in their right mind actually gives a shit." Apparently, according to ED's own words, he is not in his right mind.
  • I'd skewer 'em but I don't want to dirty my blade with the blood of a coward. Anyone who has no talent of their own and restorts to tearing other people down just isn't worth wasting the energy on. I'm with you and Icelyon, *giggles*, let's go back to drawing gay furry porn. If the site is actually meant tongue in cheek, then three cheers for them. It's about time people who really act like that were parodied.
  • Im not even popular to be in it HA! -Zippo
  • For someone who seems to hate "furfags" so much... he sure seems to know alot about them. I fear for the day when this kid grows up enough to develop a cogent argument rather than your typical "Right Wingnut Raving Lunatic" stream of conciousness rants.
  • what an damn fuck shall this?
  • I like Zen's article on ED. It brightens my day ^_^

Image Gallery[edit]

External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]

Fur series.jpg

ZEN is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article October 10, 2007
Preceded by
Sanjaya
ZEN Succeeded by
Asa Coon