Zeta Toy

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Animal sex toys. You're doing it wrong.
A zeta toy owner reaches the final stage of furry perversion.

A zeta toy is a dildo which mimics the exact shape and size of an animal's cock. Popular among furries who, lulled into an entirely false sense of normality by the echo chamber that is the Internets, have dropped all pretense and coyness with regard to their zoophilic tendencies.

Dog and horse cocks are the most popular zeta toys, but pigs, bears, boar, oxen, chinchillas, orangutans, echidna, deer, mice, mouse deer, and blue whales (whose penises are roughly 2m long - how furfags expect to hide one of those from their parents is beyond us) are not unheard of. The purchase of a zeta toy is the "skip" portion of a furry's inevitable hop, skip and jump towards the sexual abuse of domesticated animals.

Customer Appreciation[edit]

 
 
Dear Zetatoys; I recently ordered the "KnottyTrainer" and I must say that I am VERY pleased with the item. I found the sensations it generated once fully inserted indescribable!!!! I will send in some pictures as soon as I can. I will DEFINETLY be ordering from you again!!! And I will also be recommending you to several friends!!
 

 

—E-Mail: Wchstrmale@aol.com.


 
 
Racoon dildo.jpg

Just wanted to let you know, the Lil' Rider is great! I was able to take it a lot easier than I thought I would be able to, the head is just the right size and just flexible enough to get in without hurting, but once it's in, what a ride!! I like the design and feel of the racoon cock, but the curve is a bit much for me to take the whole thing, but I'll keep trying ;)
 


 

Inventors[edit]

Zeta toys were invented in the late 1990s by a couple of huge gay furfags. Not content with just donning fursuits and fucking each other in the ass, Brownbear and his buttbuddy began to sculpt their own sex toys off of their lovingly mongled dog, Roy.

When other furfags heard about the dog mongler toy, they began to beg for one of their own. Thus Zeta Creations (aka "Zetapaws") was created. To this day the most popular animal dicks they make are the animals zoophiles tend to abuse every day such as Horses and Dogs.

Now the pair are so swamped with orders from dog fuckers too cheap to buy a real dog that shipping times have slowed to a crawl. The fags who have waited almost year for their lovingly handcrafted animal dicks complaining very loudly between blowing Fido and taking it in the ass. The waiting is only going to get worse, however, as one of the dog rapists running the show has gotten heart failure which will mean only one furfag will be around to make toys in the future.

Some furfags are threatening lawsuits if they don't deliver on the promise of sweet sweet horsecock by sending their toys out soon. People have begun asking for refunds and defecting to rival furfags. If the dying dog mongler doesn't kill the company, then the slowness of the living one will.

Galleries[edit]

Considering many of the animals (lions, tigers, bears, Oh my!) are too dangerous to go anywhere near, we wonder how they managed to make accurately-shaped dildos in the first place.

Gallery A: The Toys Themselves[edit]

If they can fit you're a sick fuck About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Gallery B: The Toys in Action[edit]

Seriously, people actually use these. About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

Fur series.jpg

Zeta Toy is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Portal sex.jpg

Zeta Toy is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.


Featured article December 8 & 9, 2012
Preceded by
Fleshlight
Zeta Toy Succeeded by
Body Pillows