Zwarte Piet

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A gaggle of Zwarte Piets laughing at your sex life.

Zwarte Piet (typically translated to American as Black Pete) is a traveling companion of Sinterklaas in Dutch folklore. In stark contrast to the Krauts' lovable Krampus who joins Saint Nicholas with the intention of anally raping naughty children with a splintery wooden stick; Zwarte Piet is a holly, jolly, Spanish Moor who dresses like a 16th century faggot and, just like the majority of black people, doesn't do much aside from climbing in through your chimney and tossing all the naughty children in a sack so he can take them back to Spain where they will never be seen or heard from again. Due to this, most modern depictions of Zwarte Piet involve actors in blackface dressing like flamboyant homosexuals and handing out candy to terrified children – a fact that's led to much controversy and outrage from liberal SJWs who want to ruin Christmas and the lulz for everyone.

Originally appearing in an 1850 Amsterdamese childrens' book entitled Sint Nikolaas en zijn Knecht (English: Saint Nicholas and his Slave) by a school teacher named Jan Schenkman (who was actually a man despite his parents naming him Jan), Zwarte Piet is Santa's personal frizzy-haired negro slave who is tasked with wearing a basket full of presents so Santa doesn't have to break his goddamn back. Strangely, many people still seem shocked about the notion that Santa owns slaves despite the fact that he's extremely well known for enslaving the entire Elven and Chinese races to make bootleg Hasbro toys for Christmas.

Many wise scholars believe that the creation of Zwarte Piet was actually part of a nefarious plot by the NWO who wished to desensitize Dutch children to the invading Somali Muslims who would later go on to conquer the entire continent of Europe and rape all of their women, children, and goats in the 2010s.

Black Petes Matter[edit]

Because Black Lives Matter doesn't want anyone to be able to experience any thing resembling fun, recent years have seen an increase in butthurt outrage against Zwarte Piet due to the character essentially being a fucking Golliwog in drag.


WHITE PETES ONLY About missing Pics
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How to survive Zwarte Piet.

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Affirmative Action Ruined Santa's Workshop About missing Pics
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Featured article December 24 and 25, 2018
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