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Serving 14,672 articles since December 10th, 2004

Article of the Now


So that's what the English look like!

John Peter Bain (pronounced: John McCain), better known to the internets as: totalbiscuit, totalhalibut or teh cynical brit is a self-proclaimed "professional game commentator" and an accidental "game journalist". Biscuit's shtick consists mostly of attempts at making an inherently unfunny joke funny, having a boaboa tree up his ass and being overly British.

Since game reviewing itself can be critiqued under pretence of being extensively subjective, our good boy biscuit totally made up a profession of his own. That "profession" of his is "a game commentator". This way he can supposedly escape any and all criticism, since that "profession" implies that everything he says is a subjective opinion. Being good and righteous chaps that we are, we just can't let him get away with it, now can we?

A parallel to a sport commentator cannot be applied here. It's a remnant of old media and is essentially shit nobody cares about. That leaves a pundit as our only option. This implies a supposed extensive knowledge and expertise on the subject. However his "extensive knowledge” and “expertise” are general and self-explanatory to anyone who ever held a gamepad and/or mouse+keyboard combo in hands. So why is he getting this much attention again?

His "game commentaries" are void of any humour, but are of course full of pseudo-intellectual nonsense and the same shit that just keeps getting back to fill the air. What did you expect? The guy totally believes that iteration is the only means of providing quality. In essence that means that if you watched one of his videos you've pretty much watched them all. So stop wasting your time and get a life already!



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