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Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Article of the Now


History's most celebrated An hero.
Mitchell received the coveted Golden iPod for his feat...but then later lost it

Mitchell Henderson (died April 20, 2006) killed himself over losing an iPod after realizing how his parents betrayed him after human genitalia class, listening to Morrissey and getting bullied for being an wimpy white kid. Mitchell's parents set up an tribute MySpace page for their dead son, which a lucky /b/tard happened to stumble upon and forward to the rest of the collective. In the wake of Mitch's death were hundreds of misspelled comments from his supposed friends calling him "an Hero", an phrase which quickly caught on with the invading anons and has since become an term for an person that causes an lollercoaster via suicide.

It is now known that the real reason he was depressed was that his Dad video taped him masturbating, probably to shotacon, or other teenage boys, or perhaps wincest, and sold it for child porn. Henderson's alcoholic, methamphetamine abusing father also anally molested him multiple times with knives, broken beer bottles, and lit crack pipes from the time he turned 9. All his relatives would sit around and fap to the porn, while reminiscing about the time he took an horse cock in the ass and loved it. Nonetheless, the pr0n ended up on Henderson's iPod, because he liked to show his gay friends at school (he was only ever popular with the gay boys, anyhow). He thus blew his brains out, causing all kindz of lulz on the Internet.

His father denied the alleged charges of sexually abusing his son, stating "I only ever had sex with the dog, you fucking niggers! I just watched Mitch jack off and sold it to Catholic Priests as porn! You would've done the same thing if you had an gay son with no future!".




What have I missed?
An hero
2 days ago
Suicide
4 days ago
Burt Reynolds
6 days ago

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Thread of the Now


Lolgo.png i dont wanna go to prison

17 year old lolcow on the forum commits identity fraud. Forum users report him to the FBI to watch him freak out.

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