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Difference between revisions of "Pokémon Go"

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(+Ingress)
(Trainers)
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==Trainers==
 
==Trainers==
  
Due to its completely [[unwarranted self importance|unwarranted popularity]], Pokémon Go has turned regular [[Gameboy]] weilding-nerds into a new species of turbo [[nerd]]. They have developed the capability of doing what seemed impossible in order to play their latest real life [[fanfiction]] come true. They have developed the capacity to not only leave their mother's [[basement]], but also have developed a capacity for social interaction previously unprecedented  amongst [[LARP]]ers and [[gamer]]s. With the release of the newest game, these acne ridden [[NEET]]s have been seen attempting to talk to others and walk about in broad daylight. This has led to serious [[lulz]] including people finding [[Necrophilia|corpses]] fresh for the fucking, players being lured into alleys and mugged, and a [[homosexual]] pokemon taking over [[Westboro Baptist Church]]. Acute observers have noticed that rare pokemon are disproportionately in [[black]], [[redundant|high crime]] neighborhoods. Enterprising melanin enhanced individuals have taken note of the influx of [[white people]] carrying expensive [[phone]]s, and have begun staking out these spots to rob people. The developer of the company Niantic Inc., was formerly owned by [[Google]] Incorporated.As a fun extra feature, users will notice that the Pokémon Go application gives itself maximum privileges on their phone, allowing it to download and read the contests of your [[e-mail]]. Google, which as [[Wikileaks]] has revealed is heavily in bed with the [[Obama]] administration, to the point of [[censor]]ing criticism against [[Hillary Clinton]], is  intentionally placing pokemon in black neighborhoods in order to lure their mostly white userbase into violent situations with blacks. This leads to increased racial tensions nationwide, fueling the activities of groups like [[Black Lives Matter]], and giving Obama an excuse to enact martial law, but all would agree, that our personal privacy and national sovereignty are small prices to pay for Charizard.
+
Due to its completely [[unwarranted self importance|unwarranted popularity]], Pokémon Go has turned regular [[Gameboy]] wielding-nerds into a new species of turbo [[nerd]]. They have developed the capability of doing what seemed impossible in order to play their latest real life [[fanfiction]] come true. They have developed the capacity to not only leave their mother's [[basement]], but also have developed a capacity for social interaction previously unprecedented  amongst [[LARP]]ers and [[gamer]]s. With the release of the newest game, these acne ridden [[NEET]]s have been seen attempting to talk to others and walk about in broad daylight. This has led to serious [[lulz]] including people finding [[Necrophilia|corpses]] fresh for the fucking, players being lured into alleys and mugged, and a [[homosexual]] Pokemon taking over [[Westboro Baptist Church]]. Acute observers have noticed that rare Pokemon are disproportionately in [[black]], [[redundant|high crime]] neighborhoods. Enterprising melanin enhanced individuals have taken note of the influx of [[white people]] carrying expensive [[phone]]s, and have begun staking out these spots to mug people.  
 +
 
 +
The developer of the company Niantic Inc., was formerly owned by [[Google]] Incorporated. As a fun extra feature, users will notice that the Pokémon Go application gives itself maximum privileges on their phone, allowing it to download and read the contests of your [[e-mail]], as well as giving the exact co-ordinates of where you are at any specified time, due to needing to turn your GPS on to even play it. Google, which as [[Wikileaks]] has revealed is heavily in bed with the [[Obama]] administration, to the point of [[censor]]ing criticism against [[Hillary Clinton]], is  intentionally placing Pokemon in black neighborhoods in order to lure their mostly white userbase into violent situations with blacks with intents of creating a race war. This leads to increased racial tensions nationwide, fueling the activities of groups like [[Black Lives Matter]], and giving Obama an excuse to enact martial law, but all would agree, that our personal privacy and national sovereignty are small prices to pay for Charizard. All that the Zionist globalists had to do was appeal to the weeaboo degenerates in order to finally achieve their end goals.
  
 
==Gotta Catch Em All==
 
==Gotta Catch Em All==

Revision as of 05:10, 12 July 2016

{{#shtml:Pokémon_Go/Twittercard}}

Pokémon spotted being fucked by cops at a Black Lives Matter protest.
Your mom will be really proud of you.

Pokémon Go is a mobile game and cultural phenomenom for iOS and Android that came out last Thursday, 2016. The game is a copy-carbon of Ingress, so the company spent 3 years putting on some Pokeman figures. In Pokémon Go you walk around meat space with your phone in front of your face using the GPS and the camera to look for Pokémons in an augmented reality setting. It uses a Google Maps type interface to lead you to different Pokémon, "Pokéstops", and "Gyms" based on landmarks, parks, statues etc. Already, this autism-tier game has surpassed the Tinder app and is soon to surpass the Twitter app in daily users, so thank the pokéGod for that.

Trainers

Due to its completely unwarranted popularity, Pokémon Go has turned regular Gameboy wielding-nerds into a new species of turbo nerd. They have developed the capability of doing what seemed impossible in order to play their latest real life fanfiction come true. They have developed the capacity to not only leave their mother's basement, but also have developed a capacity for social interaction previously unprecedented amongst LARPers and gamers. With the release of the newest game, these acne ridden NEETs have been seen attempting to talk to others and walk about in broad daylight. This has led to serious lulz including people finding corpses fresh for the fucking, players being lured into alleys and mugged, and a homosexual Pokemon taking over Westboro Baptist Church. Acute observers have noticed that rare Pokemon are disproportionately in black, high crime neighborhoods. Enterprising melanin enhanced individuals have taken note of the influx of white people carrying expensive phones, and have begun staking out these spots to mug people.

The developer of the company Niantic Inc., was formerly owned by Google Incorporated. As a fun extra feature, users will notice that the Pokémon Go application gives itself maximum privileges on their phone, allowing it to download and read the contests of your e-mail, as well as giving the exact co-ordinates of where you are at any specified time, due to needing to turn your GPS on to even play it. Google, which as Wikileaks has revealed is heavily in bed with the Obama administration, to the point of censoring criticism against Hillary Clinton, is intentionally placing Pokemon in black neighborhoods in order to lure their mostly white userbase into violent situations with blacks with intents of creating a race war. This leads to increased racial tensions nationwide, fueling the activities of groups like Black Lives Matter, and giving Obama an excuse to enact martial law, but all would agree, that our personal privacy and national sovereignty are small prices to pay for Charizard. All that the Zionist globalists had to do was appeal to the weeaboo degenerates in order to finally achieve their end goals.

Gotta Catch Em All

Rattata can sniff out his own kind.
Pokemon Go with Final Destination DLC.

Related Articles

External Links

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Pokémon Go
is part of a series on Pokémon

[Gotta catch ’em all!Who’s that Pokémon?]
A FUCKING POKEMON
Abra
Aggron
Aggron
Alakazam
Alakazam
Bidoof
Bidoof
Blastoise
Blastoise
Braixen
Braixen
Charizard
Charizard
Cloyster
Cloyster
Ditto
Ditto
Empoleon
Empoleon
Empoleon
Espeon
Garchomp
Garchomp
Gardevoir
Gardevoir
Hypno
Hypno
Jynx
Jynx
Jigglypuff
Jigglypuff
It's a Kirby, retard
Kirby
Koffing
Koffing
Lanturn
Lanturn
Cunnilingus
Lickitung
Lopunny
Lopunny
Lucario
Lucario
Lugia
Lugia
Metapod
Metapod
Mewtwo
Mewtwo
Mistystuffer
Misty
Mudkip
Mudkip
Twitch Plays Pokemon
Omanyte
Pikaman
Pikaman
Pokemon Go
Pokemon Go
Swirlface
Poliwhirl
Porygon
Porygon
Primeape
Primeape
Probopass
Probopass
JustinRPG
Reshiram
BlueCatRiolu
Riolu
FUCK_YEAH_SEAKING
Seaking
Shaymin
Shaymin
Shiny Pidgey
Shiny Pidgey
Slowpoke
Slowpoke
Smugleaf
Smugleaf
Snorlax
Snorlax
Snover
Snover
Squirtle
Squirtle
Suicune
Suicune
Xatu
Xatu
Zoroark
Zoroark
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Pokémon Go is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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