The Central Park Five

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These five rapists are now five rich rapists thanks to De Blasio giving them $41M of New Yorkers' tax dollars.

The Central Park Five is the name that the media gave to five totally innocent teenagersKharey Wise, 16; Yusef Salaam, 15; Antron McCray, 15; Kevin Richardson, 14; and Raymond Santana Jr., 14—who, on April 19, 1989, were going for a leisurely stroll through New York's Central Park and assaulting random people with a lead pipe when they were racially profiled by the NYPD and wrongfully arrested for the rape and attempted murder of a 28-year-old jogger named Patricia Ellen Meili who was brutally gang raped and beaten into a coma with a lead pipe on that same night. Unfortunately, Bernie Goetz was not able to get to the scene in time.

The only evidence against the five young men was the fact that they were coincidentally beating up people in the same park at the same time and with the same type of weapon that was used to beat Meili. The only other evidence was the fact that all five teenagers knew key details about the rape before the rape was even public knowledge. The only other evidence was the fact that they all fucking confessed to doing it. But, of course, it eventually turned out that all five men were at least 100 percent innocent because—over a decade later—the police finally matched some DNA evidence in the case to a convicted murderer and serial rapist named Matias Reyes, who was 18 at the time of the crime.

Since getting released on a technicality and being given $41 million bucks worth of New Yorkers' tax dollars by New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, the five now-middle-aged thugs have become involved in a hilariously one-sided bitchfight with the current President of The Jewnited States of Americunts – who they've actually tried to blame for their conviction and incarceration.

The Confessions

Immediately after being arrested, the five niggaz all began blabbing in the police car and referencing the rape and "murder" that they had just committed in Central Park. At this point in time, the rape wasn't public knowledge and the fact that they knew about it proved their involvement. In addition, the boys references to the "murder" proved that, at the time, they fully believed that they had just killed Trisha Meili – in fact, Meili was in such critical condition at this point that the boys were originally going to be charged with murder.

Despite all of the boys quickly admitting that they were involved, all of them decided to blame each other and attempt to downplay their involvement in the rape. The result was five drastically different stories that, naturally, each painted the person telling them as having minimal involvement in the crime.

I didn't do the murder!


—One of the dindus slips up Archive today-ico.png (archive)

I had nothing to do with the rape. All I did was feel her tits.


—Raymond Santana, confessing to the crime Archive today-ico.png (archive)

I only held her legs down while Kevin fucked her.


—Kharey Wise, confessing to his sister Archive today-ico.png (archive)

We all took turns getting on her, getting on top of her.


—Antron McCray, confessing to rape Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Antron did it.


Kevin Richardson Archive today-ico.png (archive)

It's nighttime. You don't go into the park at night for picnics.


—Yusef Salaam attempts to defend himself in court Archive today-ico.png (archive)

I'm facing 57 years over this!


—Kharey Wise's outburst in court Archive today-ico.png (archive)


Donald J. Trump, wearing his patented anti-rape helmet.

Several days after the brutal rape, a wealthy New York philanthropist named Donald J. Trump decided to spend $85,000 of his own money to purchase full-page ads in numerous New York based magazine publications. The tl;dr ads decried the increasing violence on the streets of the big apple and requested that his fellow Jew Porkers stop being a bunch of fucking pussies and bring back the death penalty for criminals who commit murder.

What has happened to our City over the past ten years? What has happened to law and order, to the neighborhood cop we all trusted to safeguard our homes and families, the cop who had the power under the law to help us in times of danger, keep us safe from those who would prey on innocent lives to fulfill some distorted inner need. What has happened to the respect for authority, the fear of retribution by the courts, society and the police for those who break the law, who wantonly trespass on the rights of others? What has happened is the complete breakdown of life as we knew it.

Many New York families- White, Black, Hispanic and Asian- have had to give up the pleasure of a leisurely stroll in the Park at dusk, the Saturday visit to the playground with their families, the bike ride at awn, or just sitting on their stoops- given them up as hostages to a world ruled by the law of the streets, as roving bands of wild criminals roam our neighborhoods, dispensing their own vicious brand of twisted hatred on whomever they encounter. At what point did we cross the line from the fine and noble pursuit of genuine civil liberties to the reckless and dangerously permissive atmosphere which allows criminals of every age to beat and rape a helpless woman and then laugh at her family's anguish? And why do they laugh? They laugh because they know that soon, very soon, they will be returned to the streets to rape and maim and kill once again- and yet face no great personal risk to themselves.

Mayor Koch has stated that hate and rancor should be removed from our hearts. I do not think so. I want to hate these muggers and murderers. They should be forced to suffer and, when they kill, they should be executed for their crimes. They must serve as examples so that others will think long and hard before committing a crime or an act of violence. Yes, Mayor Koch, I want to hate these murderers and I always will. I am not looking to psychoanalyze or understand them, I am looking to punish them. If the punishment is strong, the attacks on innocent people will stop. I recently watched a newscast trying to explain the "anger in these young men". I no longer want to understand their anger. I want them to understand our anger. I want them to be afraid.

How can our great society tolerate the continued brutalization of its citizens by crazed misfits?


When I was young, I sat in a diner with my father and witnessed two young bullies cursing and threatening a very frightened waitress. Two cops rushed in, lifted up the thugs and threw them out the door, warning them never to cause trouble again. I miss the feeling of security New York's finest once gave to the citizens of this City.

Let our politicians give back our police department's power to keep us safe. Unshackle them from the constant chant of "police brutality" which every petty criminal hurls immediately at an officer who has just risked his or her life to save another's. We must cease our continuous pandering to the criminal population of this City. Give New York back to the citizens who have earned the right to be New Yorkers. Send a message loud and clear to those who would murder our citizens and terrorize New York- BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY AND BRING BACK OUR POLICE!


Donald J. Trump

I want to hate... and I always will.


—What libtards actually see when they read the ad

They admitted they were guilty. The police doing the original investigation say they were guilty. The fact that that case was settled with so much evidence against them is outrageous. And the woman, so badly injured, will never be the same.


Donald J. Trump


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The Central Park Five
is part of a series on
Surprise Sex

Forms of Rape

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[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]

Donald trump glowing eyes.jpg The Central Park Five
is part of a series on Donald Trump.

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Featured article February 11 & 12, 2019
Preceded by
Coolest Monkey in the Jungle
The Central Park Five Succeeded by
Jussie Smollett